It's been exactly one week.
How did it feel?

I wasn't there to text you every second.
I wasn't there for you to talk to when you were frustrated.
I wasn't there to comfort you when you were sad.
I wasn't there when you smiled.
I wasn't there for anything.

That's how it's going to feel
in about half a month.

For another ******* year and a half.

It's not that hard of a decision to make.

Just move in with me.

Someone tried to tell me love isn't like roses.
Love is exactly like roses.

At first, they're beautiful,
The smell consumes you.

After a while they starts to die,
But they're still pretty.

In the end, the roses are dead,
The pretty smell is gone.

But you never throw them away
Because the memory of how beautiful
They once were
Still lingers with you.

So you hope
And pray that one day the roses will be as they once were,
But they won't.

10:52 P.M.
I can't keep writing about the emptiness I feel
Or how sad I am.

I can't keep listening to people tell me
To fill it with
God
Or
Drugs.

I can't keep staring at the mirror trying to figure out
Why you were so interested in my eyes that day.

I can't keep touching my ribs
Trying to give it the same feeling you did
When you gave me a hug in the hallway.

I can't keep thinking about you
Every night when I'm alone

I can't keep being in love with you.

I always saw myself as imperfect.
There was never really a point in time when I didn't.
Even as a little girl I hated myself.

Perfect is what I aspire to be.

No matter the lengths I have
To go to be it.

It wasn't the morning after.
It wasn't even the afternoon after.
Not a few days after.

It took me a week.
All week I was sure that it was right because
I was with someone I loved
And I was so sure loved me back.

It was exactly a week after
That you left me.

And at that second
That was when I felt it.

Maybe children wouldn't commit suicide
If we just learned to be good humans.

Maybe we would have so many teen parents
If we just learned that *** is sacred.

Maybe kids wouldn't have cuts and scars
If we just learned that rude comments get us nowhere.

Maybe we would actually have a good economy
If kids were taught that
It's ok to learn
It won't make you a loser,
It'll make you successful.

We need to teach our kids better than our parents did.

Late at night like this,
I crave cigarettes.
I don't smoke,
Although, I think it might calm my nerves.

Late at night like this,
I want to walk around outside.
I want to see the lights,
Look at the sky
And not be afraid of the danger of strangers.
I want to embrace the beauty in them.

Late at night like this,
I crave a guy beside me.
To hold me
And kiss me
And be consumed by the warmth of his body.

Late at night like this,
I crave the freedom
That only friends and the open road
Have to offer.

I don't get these things
So instead, I lay here starting at the ceiling,
My heart heavy
My body numb
And my soul empty.