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Alexandra Akins Nov 2010
Everyday I wonder what she would think
If you hadn't accepted death
Would you think she was still beautiful
Would you be amazed at how far shes come
Or would you think shes moved on for the better

Everyday I wonder what he would think
If you hadn't hated him
Would you think he's still immature
Would you be amazed at him
Or would you think he'll never become better

Everyday I wonder what you would think
If you could see me now
Would you think that I am doing well
Would you be proud of me
Or would you think I could be better

Everyday I wonder what I would think
If you were alive now
Would you think the world is different
Would you be happy
Or would you think you could be better
Alexandra Akins Nov 2010
Sit and be still
Close your eyes and forget
Think of something happy
It hasn’t even begun yet.

Then a ***** and its in
A drip drop and its started
Try and be nice, the
Nurses aren’t cold-hearted.

Open your book
Please try and get away
Cause these drugs will take hold
They affect you everyday.

Don’t worry about the future
Forget about tomorrow
I am with you right now
Through all of this sorrow.

This is my dream
This should have occurred
I should have been there
Before our connection was blurred.
Alexandra Akins Nov 2010
I walk in tired from the night
You sit awake with sparkling eyes
I grab a beer and turn to my room
You follow me without knowing why
I close the door
But you beg for more
I just want to meet you, you say
But all I want to do is lay
Down in my bed.

You sit down and stare at me
I pop the tab on my beer
Why won't you just disappear
But there is something about you
I need to know more, so we sit
And you ask me questions, you smile
But I can tell behind those dark eyes
It's not a loving smile and
It's not me you are smiling for.

Four days later we go out
Uncomfortable to say the least
More questions, not really any answers
Just glances and smiles
Different people but maybe in a good way
And for some reason we can't get enough
So its dinner and ice cream,
A long walk with awkward moments
And a kiss to end the night.

Three more days and not sure why
The Pacifist enters the gates
Of West Point, cannons go off
We watch the parade, you in
Your uniform with your buttons
That I don't understand
Me in a black dress and Uggs
Different people and
Not in a good way.

But two more days I was in it for sure
Then just like it began, grabbing a beer
And going to my room, you following,
Please stop following with those questions
Of yours, and just stop asking and looking for
The answers that I don't have, I won't ever have
Just return to your Army, your secret paradise
And we can forget about each other
Different people in the worst way.
Alexandra Akins Nov 2010
Eyes open, light all around me
nose full, of old leather
hand out, fighting the wind to stay up
mind gone, thoughts running away
ears happy, with the sounds of music

The Florida sunshine pushes in,
it lights up the car.
It makes the seats hot but comfortable
and they give off the strong smell of leather.
We crack the windows and let the world in
but just enough so we can hear each other.
His big tan arm dances with the wind
as my pale tiny hand tries to keep up.
The CD plays and skips a little
on these long drives with my dad.
Chicago or Sinatra play
the background melody of our afternoons.
He wears his broken Ray-bans
the ones he keeps trying to mend. I love
the bits of glue around the corners.
People glance over, they try and look in.
I bet they think we are celebrities, we are
so cool in the ’88 benz convertible.
He’s cool, so I must be too. I am a celebrity
on these car rides with my dad.
Little me, front seat, just us and
the music, the light, the wind, the love.

Eyes open, light all around me
nose full, of old leather
hand out, fighting the wind to stay up
mind gone, thoughts running away
ears happy, with the sounds of music
me complete, on a ride with my dad.
Alexandra Akins Nov 2010
It's a pity my friend
For you to come upon me
To see me at my end
In a state of tranquility

Life is falling faster
Then it ever has before
It's like a small disaster
Death comes around more

Peace is now regulated
Life is now restored
Love is now terminated
Loneliness is now bored

You made your choice
It wasn’t up to me
I should quiet my voice
And let the loss be

Life may start over
If one could believe
That pain for another
Would lead them to leave.

— The End —