Adrenaline flows and you get ******.

Where do I run?

What do I do with this?

I have this rage,

This undeniable fear.

Nowhere to turn.

Which way do I steer?

I can’t **** this pain,

It burns too deep.

The tears flow and the heartache seeps.

Seeps to the very depth of my being.

All that I know,

Everything I'm seeing.

It Reminds me of you,

And brings back this hurt.

This horrible need,

I want to feel.

I need to bleed.

Maybe if the hurt is from self,

Then the other will subside.

So I take this off the shelf,

Pretend everything's alright.

Then I drop the hammer,

Push this metal through me.

The pain I knew,

Still bites through to me.

Why wont this go away?

Why cant I feel okay?

Nothing seems right.

You are not here.

Everything I once knew,

Just seemed to disappear.

Nothing I say.

Nothing I do.

Seems to let you know what I'd do for you.

Train, bullet, insurmountable pain,

Things I'd take so you'd never feel the sting.

What we had,

That was real.

I can still grasp it.

I can't help but feel.