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No one said that this would be easy
(I don't wanna know)
What will this future bring me?
They all told me it's okay
Still I dream of that day
The world is so cruel to me now
I've lost my energy to mind plow
Does anyone know how I feel?
I hope this reality just ain't real
I'm on my last chance
How much struggle can God enhance?
Hanging on by a thread
If it snaps I'll lose my head
I don't know how I became this way
All I can do is put my head down and just pray
(pray for a better day)

I'm on the back of this bus
People are screaming, what's the fuss?
Entangled in this life
That I've learned how to balance
Who's pulling these strings? that's the malice
I'm not here to play your games
Better be prepared, I'm taking names
Think that its' worse physical?
Don't listen to that kind of bull
Mental goes the worst
It's a deadly ******' curse

I'm lookin' out for myself
Keeping an eye on mental health
I try to save all i can
And try to keep evil away but still stay a man (stay a man)
I don't know which guy I wanna be
Wish someone else would think like me
Everyone hates me, I'm taking the heat
Being bad is such a cold seat
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
Somehow I feel like I'm pushing back that date
I'd like to vanish all my sin
But that's a fight I cannot win
It's here forever
Forever and ever, why never?
Well we're in all of this together

We have fun times
But only sometimes
I had my chance to love at one time
Why can't someone sit here with to me?
My heart is turning cold and I've lost the key
I guess no one likes me anymore
Maybe it's my fault and I've burnt that door
And just, if you would just believe me
Then I-I would just try to stay
Happiness is flying above me
I try reach out and touch
But I'm still leaning on this crutch
I've learned trying doesn't work out how it seems
You need to push it to the limit
And hope to hell that you'll win it
Cause that's something that you earn
It's not a switch that you can turn
Right now things could be real ******
But don't let people look at you in pity
**** will always get kinda ******
Before and after your finally happy
When your world is flipped upside down
Keep yourself from making a frown
That'll keep the clock turning
And through your faults, you'll keep on learning
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I just wanna rest
Not think about this mess
And this life of stress

Take off this cloak
Let you know I'm broke

Living my life like a dream
To make it feel better than it seems

Taking too much of sorrow too
Could I please borrow you?

I'd like it if you could hold
This part of me turning cold

Please say it'll be alright
Bring me into the light

I know who you are
Your smiles brighter than a star

I'll let you decide
When our lips collide

Those lips are sweeter than honey
You shine on me as if today was sunny
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Somewhere over the rainbow
Where I can witness magic
A place of my own
No friend or foe

Just me alone
Comforted by the open air
Wide open eyes, I glare
In this painting I roam

Forever in here, I belong
Such a perfect paradise
If I'm sleeping, pinch me twice
I'm sure in here nothing could go wrong

There's no *** of gold
I thought that was a lie
To keep searching till I die
Now I'm tired of believing what I've been told

The grass grows blue
Flowers blossom to my tune
I won't be leaving here soon
How I'm here, not even a clue

A multitude of stars
Still the moon shines brighter than the sun
No one else to witness, I'm the only one
But being here still doesn't heal the scars

Wish I would never wake up to this mess
Life is full of disgust and filth
I broke down everything I built
How I truly feel, no one could guess

Still this ain't enough
If I can't have you near
To hold you here
It's the end of love I fear

I miss everything you are
Everything we did together
Remember when we said forever?
Why do you have to be so far?

I hope you'll come back to me
These dreams can't handle
It's more than a scandal
I wish to never blow out this candle

I don't want to come back
Reality is not where I belong
Everything only feels so wrong
Why does the pain last so long?

Sleep is the only escape
There I can change my fate
Forget about hate
Depression will have to wait

If only I had my heart
I love you so bad
To be denied of that makes me mad
What even ripped us apart?

Maybe you forgot about us
The amazing things we held
You didn't realize what I felt
I know I must live with what I'm dealt

I would watch the world rot away
But I'd stay focused on you
Fill me up, make me new
Your my light in the darkest day

If you don't take the next step
This path will crumble and fall
I'm stopped by a brick wall
Please don't be a doll

I need to know
Will you be there
Grasp the love we share
To finally end this nightmare
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Think for a minute
Close your eyes
Do this, escape the atmosphere of lies

When your still in the cloud of youth
There's no reason to accept the rotten truth

You could be abandoned in fear
In a filthy world unclear

If you still wonder why you were born
And your hearts just beaten and torn
Is the suffering worth it
When you drowning in ****?

Believe me kid
I've been through it all
That's why I started oddball
Everything I say is nothing but true
A straight up message from me to you

When your drowning in quicksand
I'll always be there to give you a hand
Come on kid, be a little glad
I'm offering you what I never had

The only friends I had were just sittin' on the side lines
They knew I was locked in the cage
What did I see? They were holding the key
To them I was spent up like cash
Threw our friendship in the trash

Not once did I cry
The only question is "Why?"
And still as I'm up here rappin'
I don't know what the **** happened

You have to never lose hope
Sooner or later life is gonna get dope

I can assure things will only get better
In this situation, we don't ever say never

If anyone treats you any lower than what you are
Just walk away
You don't need another scar

There's **** in the past you shouldn't dwell
It'll only put you back in that cell
What's done is done
Still, you have to make room for the fun

If your only inheritance
Is the abuse from your parents
You'll be outa that **** hole soon enough
Then you can live the real life, many things await you,
a whole lotta stuff

Still frustrated with the lovers?
Don't lose hope, there's plenty others
Dude, you'll find the perfect chick
But not with that attitude
Girls, there's your guy somewhere in this world

Spread your wings out far
Just be who you are

When you start to shake
Think what your doing
It's your path to take
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I can't stop thinking
In my mind I run after this love
If you would just open your hand, it would fit like a glove

I don't know how to say it
Every night I pray it
I think we're meant to be
And if you would love me
It'd be a beautiful fantasy

This heart is too much for words
I couldn't speak my love
That's not possible
Maybe if I was Shakespeare
But I'm sorry my dear

I can show you how in a million ways
I can love you for all time, until the end of days
And when I'm taken by death
The love will never be left
Cause Cupid has me under a spell
My heart could make it through hell

You and I would be so good (x2)
We would be so good
Baby won't you love me?
I know I love you

Love ain't simple like connect four
You gotta give all you got and I'll give even more
All there is, is the **** on the door

When I think of you
I get all numb
A moment in bliss
Oh how I long for that kiss

I could never go lazy
Cause I love you like crazy

And I know you've been hurt
Because so have I
The other ones shoved our hearts in the dirt

Somehow we managed to see through the lies
Relationships in the past had not a chance to last

So I'm trying to polish this up
Please baby, you don't have to push me away
I'm trying to **** hard
Give it a chance
May I have at least one dance?

You and I would be so good (x2)
We would be so good
Baby won't you love me?
I know I love you

Let me care for you in no other way
Let's make this happen before blue eyes go gray

You don't know what could happen to us
What does our future behold?
I hope this comes true like from dreams I've been told

I won't let you be treated like dirt anymore
Not one more time
I see in you what you might not know
I know you have a tender heart
And I can tell it's not for show

I've been searching for that someone since the day I was born
So we can try to heal what's been torn

Put your hand in mine
Let's take the first step
We must risk delight
It's not always love at first sight

Take a look through the stained glass
It's a beautiful love that could easily last
If only you could see what I see now
Your the best thing to love and I don't know how

You and I would be so good (x2)
We would be so good
Baby won't you love me?
I know I love you

All the pieces of the puzzle are here
Help me pick them up and let's put them together
I don't want this to be conceited
Let us be united
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I know I a child I was so **** happy
Flippin' through photos of me as a baby
Was that really me? Yes-no-maybe

You see that kid, he's always got a smile
Seems like someones turned that dial
But at least I can keep it on file

It's hard to believe that things were so good
Will I ever find that place I once stood?
Why is it happiness that I can't recall?
After hitting double digits it just hit the wall

Thinkin' bout this life I was handed
Didn't know so many things would be demanded
And now I can barely stand it

I thought my life was so **** great
But only at first when I had a clean plate
Everything I ever needed was there
Then this dreadful world stripped me and left me bare

Learning life and all that **** the hard way
Waking up just to eat the day
Never could I call this place sweet
My payback on the world will never retreat

I was so rich when I had nothing
Couldn't tell my mind was just bluffing
I'm starting to get back on track
First gimme a kiss and then a smack

I'm gonna get my happiness
And not a thing is gonna hold me back
I'm done with this frown
Not even gravity can hold me down

I couldn't give a **** who tells me what
**** outa here scientists
Don't tell me what's wrong with me
That's only gettin' me ******
Somewhere in my mind
The answer must exist

But maybe it has to be this way
I'm supposed to me miserable
Supposed to have nothing

I'm getting tired of this
Getting sick of this
Every time I reach for happiness I only get ******

And now I have to take it all
I gotta take what this place has taken from me
I have Pandora's box without a key
Sometimes it just takes a little push
Instead I have to grab a hammer
And get what I need
I hate how this world can be covered with greed
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There's a few things you should know about me before you read my work. First, I am a very passionate person. 99% of my poems/lyrics are based of life experiences I have been through. I started a writing about a year ago when everything in my life crashed and burned. My heart was broken, I lost all of my friends, I was failing in school, and had no support from anyone. All I would do is sit down and write. This was one of the only ways of releasing my emotions and coping with pain and passion.

I am an artist, so I also draw, paint, make videos, and play guitar. Maybe you will laugh at this but my favorite band is Limp Bizkit. Their music has gotten me through many hardships in the past. They are what has inspired my to start writing and creating music. I met the lead singer, Fred Durst. I told him how much his music means to me and how it has helped me so much. He responded in a very deep way. He told me "We have to reach the deepest darkness before we can come out into the light" or something along those lines.. I don't remember exactly how he put it. I believe I have a purpose in life, and that purpose involves what I am doing right now.

I am thankful for every experience God has put me through for I have learned a great deal out of each one. Not only do I learn more about people who have come into my life, but I learn even more about myself each step of the way. No matter how hard things get, I will always come out as a stronger and deeper person.
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