I'm sitting in the space of my eldest brother
Sorting water dameaged hockey cards
While I softly sing another
Song we grew up on
That nobody seems to like anymore
Not even the cards

This is what life is like
It seems less fair than it is
But I'm grateful for
The leftovers in my fridge

I'm the last one to come
And the last one to go
I'll be the last one
To say "I love you"
In a chapel
And I wouldn't have it faster

As long I'm dry
And as long I'm fed
As long as I'm breathing
I am at my best
I am at my best

I got in entranced by a girl I should have known better
The very same soul of whom I'd said "never"
And she is loved by my hearts brother
I'm going to a place we traveled together
But he's not with me
No, he isn't with me

We all have dreams

Some larger than others
Some oversized for my size 10 feet
These water damaged hockey cards
Are my only company

In the house I have today
Most everything has a place

Wardrobes incarcerate prior and present
Each with gates for closing
An open seat is kept for comfort
Another for imposing

A shelf I have for string and twine
Another for hope and faithful
Rakes and spades are saved outside
And perseverance on the table

Honesty's stored behind mahogany doors
And sacrifice on the stove
Cleanliness is kept in sight
And dust in neglected alcoves

A place I have for peace and joy
And even one for sorrow
But in all the rooms
Of my house of today
I have not room for tomorrow.

I've seen more than enough love songs
That say the the same thing in different ways
Too many hearts don't reflect the meaning of their names.
Her name means "promise". All I see is pain.

Rejection
Hate
Distaste
Disdain

Why are sad stories so difficult to tell?
The oceans in my skull have filled enough wells.
I'm thirsty for love, not sirens and liquid salt.
This cistern of sadness will not parch the thoughts that won't depart.

I'm sitting on a sleet covered street bench
And I only wish the city was as dark as the sky,
But oscillations of red and blue clarify
The night and who it belongs to.

Christmas colors aren't these
There's no green,
The same absence as the trees.
Hearts as cold as this arctic breeze.

I am the same as
My empty sandbox

I have nothing new to say
You're still same when as when you saved me
I'll come to you contritely
I have so much on my mind
and it feels like I'm trying
to access it all at once and it's tiring.
I'm weary but restless
I notice every bit of discomfort that can usually just ignore
It's like I think I'm supposed to be cold but I'm sticky and sweaty
I never was able to talk to you without some sort of agenda, always wanting another song or testimony.


Medicate me
Close my tired eyes
Help me see you
Just let me realize.



The same irritating set of melodies is stuck in my head
Melodies that I used to like
Turns out too much disease makes you hate the treatment

Now I'm starting to feel tired
But I still cannot repose
Or maybe I can
I think I'll try now
Goodbye



No
I can't seem to find repose
And I wish that I knew why
Is it the song stuck in my head
The describes you and I?

is it the way my pillow hurts my ears
the pressing silence of what is soon to be a year

It's been nine months
Since that first night
When you stole my sleep
With your beautiful eyes
They tear through this world
That dampens my mind
All the words I've held inside
I've been deprived
by your demulcent smile
That hurts my empty heart

Can't you let me see my own reflection
I don't wanna be so hateful
Of this vengeful aggravation
Of which I'm not acquainted

Or at least I haven't seen it
Since 1 a.m. a few years back
That's the last time recollection
Serves me without lack

But this feeling of which I was once familiar
beats my cheaply painted willow door
In panic my conscience cowers
I pray the concrete hardens
The fear I feel's a flower
growing gashes in my garden

Poetry is pretending

Tending tepid wounds
Before they can be found
Disavowing secrets
To which we're all bound

Inditing a dimension
In which one can hide
Casting an enchantment
To bewitch our jagged tides

In and out
Wreck and reject
Prying off nails from nameless coffins
Bearing forgotten respect

Speak your mind
Teach it a language
Show that it's a maze
with complexity unbested

Insanity's a sage
Fear, a selfish shepherd
Dreams are lily seeds
Reality, a bristled ****

Tear, singe
Break, bring
Touch, cringe
Climb, cling
Hope, sing

Poetry is pretending
We only show what's written

As your soul is in longful despair
Within a heartbroken cellar
Guided by a dim flame
concocted upon the roof of your candle

You hold fast to this rhythm of distrust
Though it's tempo is ever descending
Just as your steps against the staircase
Where you conceal your contempt

Be less of the more
Be warmed by the same
Be bound to the sincere
Find what you've hid

Each pain was weighed
And deemed a worthy price
Each splinter in his skin
Each tear of blood from his eyes

Redemption and cost
The flow from his side
The rust in his veins
The moment he died

All for you,
Ever in a cellar
Relinquish anxiety
Be found by Forever

Watching hills roam
While my thoughts do the same
There's a gentle arm about my back
I never thought we would change

Caught by a cornea's
Shackling stare
Peer through the rim
Between blurry and clear

It's the only way
To shred these strings

That smile was fake
It told me it's self
But the flower in that hair
Makes me thankful for grace

Songs from the heart
Were afraid to come out
Now joy is their freedom
Despite all the pain

Pause...
Please...
Teach me how to endure

Love...
Weave...
I want no other pattern but yours


You sit close and parallel
Pages apart
From threefold confusion
Confounding your heart

She's in the corner
Making desperate rhymes
I would sit down beside her
And finish her lines

Just like you said
Be it as such
Draw out my vehement cries
From the caverns

I search in them for light
While there is none
There is no radiance beneath rocks
There is no glory in depression

The cliffs have eyes
And they watch over the waters
In boisterous composition
It's canvas sings

Expenditures aloof
Senseless words
below the hoof

Alive be I
For willing desire
The bland word "fire"
Is rhymed too much

The meaning of my words is spent
My poetry is belittled by your greatness
But your greatness gives me value
I will always be thankful

My eye's lashes reach
For cheekbones of mine
And my legs surrender
their strength to a mattress

I will sing in the night
Clear my head
Show me your power
Sheer my insecurities
Shape my loss
I will praise you either way

A syllable of desire in a novel of grace
Etched words bereaved of impurity
I long to read your words
Yet my longing is a blade of grass
In your meadow of generosity

I wish and pray for what I've seen
Yet what I've seen is but a fraction of what you offer
A silver ring in Solomon treasury


Strokes of forgiveness on a sun-bleached ledger
Detriment colored by joy
Definition given by the Great Author
Definement and refinement

Anxiety is my bag of soil
With it i shall purchase gold and diamonds
You have sown your love into my heart
I have sold my ink to this paper

Each page of mercy in my soul's journal
Every curl of compassion's calligraphy
Rewriting me
Make my story yours