If it's for my own good,
why do I feel so sick?

You can come back tomorrow,
everything would be fine

You can come back someday,
everything will be fine

You're never coming back,
why do I feel so sick?

I still have scars left,
from all the times you injected your essence into my veins

Sweetheart how could you leave?
Why did you go?
Was there another victim
that you kept on the down low?

"Open your eyes,
you're free; she let you go"
But what becomes of me next?
It scares me not to know

You trapped me in the dark for so long
I no longer know how to see in the light
I could feel your chains break,
but without the weight what good is a fight?

(There is no cure for love,
not for the sick twisted love
between a victim and her captor)

Just where did we go wrong

I am drawn to what destroys me

You are the smoke in my lungs,
the alcohol in my bloodstream,
a drug injected in my vein

You don't know what love is,
yet you consume mine like a parasite

(You overwash your hands
lather, rinse, repeat
You **** the goodness from my heart
love me, hate me, leave me,
repeat)

being alive is the real nightmare

I don't know what it is about you
No one's ever made me feel quite like this

Call you Haley, Athena, Fawn, Chere...it doesn't matter to me, really
Wasn't it Shakespeare who said "A rose is still a rose by any other name?"
I'm quoting that wrong, I'm sure,
but you have a way of jumbling my words

All I know it that you are you,
and I want nothing more than you
Love isn't a cure for sickness,
of that I am aware
But I want to help in any way I can
because your happiness is the world to me

My dear princess, may I be your shining knight?
The one who protects you from the monsters?
Life is no fairy tale, I know,
but God
Happily ever after only exists with you

Your icy soul doesn't give you reason
to go freezing the hearts of others

Even if you can't feel love
don't go drain it out of others
Don't leave your frozen galaxy
just to bury others in the hail

I know your heart is ice
but what gives you the right
to take away the warmth once in mine?

So Ice Princess, if you please
don't drag me into this eternal winter

Do you see what you've done?
You left me behind,
and left a mark in my heart

Was this your plan?
You scream out "I need your love"
Maybe I needed you,
but my pain doesn't matter now does it?

Do you get a sick sadistic pleasure out of this?
My pleas are not unheard, just ignored
You are not crazy, just selfish and thoughtless

Don't touch me ice princess,
for I fear my heart will be as frozen as yours

I love you, believe that,
but you cause a sort of anger
that I can't even begin to understand

I don't need to be doubted
Your absence hurts me to the central core,
and somehow you don't see that

Love me,
Love me not
Hate me,
Love me not

In the end I still love you,
despite my frustration
In the end I still need you,
because you said you need me
(and I believe you)

I yell at my phone,
only to think of you,
and realize that I am enticed
by what frustrates me

I wear my headphones
so the voices aren't so loud

than I want to admit

My stomach rumbles because I am hungry for your words
It's been over a week since we've spoken,
and I feel as though I haven't eaten in weeks

I drool at the memory of your words,
your sweet imagery of kindess,
the spicy, tangy taste in your flirtations
I can feel the cool, soft texture of your words on my tongue

Memories flood in,
of an empty stomach, a full plate
I would often ***** up words,
unsure of what to say
They didn't know I did the same to my food

Two different pangs of hunger,
but both cause a similar pain
I'll just fight off the starvation
By the time you get back,
I'll have withered away into nothing

What's important to me,
is that you're better

When you come back,
I'll be right here
waiting

At this point there is no one to stop me
There is misery flooding my veins,
and all I want is to bleed it out

How does someone like me,
go this long without a single cut?
Never have I pressed a knife to my skin,
but maybe I can escape this hell

I want to open my skin,
and see dark crimson on the floor
I'll paint my hatred of the world,
with my blood on a paintbrush

They tell me they do it to forget,
and that is what I need
Let everything fade away,
and allow me to down in my own blood

I hate what I am forced to see in the mirror,
day by endless day
Something with no real use,
to a large and cold world

Maybe I don't have the stomach to control my fate,
but there are days that I glance at the road,
and think to myself,
"What I wouldn't give
to be hit by a car"

I crave a hospital bed
Not in a mental asylum
(though I desperately need it)
but next to a heart monitor,
with only a single line

I am envious of the ones who escaped
The man found hanging by a noose
The woman passed out next to an empty bottle
How dare they leave,
when I am trapped here

I'm too young to feel this empty
Just let me leave a note,
and be done with it
No one will notice
No one will care,
so leave me be

Maybe the day I die,
will finally be the day I smile

You have some nerve,
thinking those thoughts
There are many things I am unsure of,
but never have I once questioned my love for you

What I question is why I feel pain,
whenever you are away
I thought this was something I could handle,
yet a day without you feels like a year in hell

What I don't question is why the words haven't left my mouth
It has less to do with my last mistake,
and more to do with me not wanting to repeat
(but maybe I'm just scared)

Then I question how you would respond
Surely if I don't receive the words back,
my heart will shatter once more
(for once I'm afraid of the silence)

"What are you doing up so late?
School and responsibilities await,
you need your sleep for the morrow"

I lay awake because all my thoughts take her shape
If I close my eyes,
I will only dream of her essence
In my nightmares,
I can hear her screams

"Go to sleep; she'll be back
Don't let her turn you into an insomniac
You're sleep deprived and full of sorrow"

What if she's awake at one in the morning?
Does she want me there,
to hold her in the dark?
It be worth the suffering,
if I only knew she dreamt of me once

The words refuse to leave my mouth,
but I cannot deny the truth,
as I lay alone, miserable in my own bed

Sadness wraps around me like a blanket
my arms are tight around my pillow,
but they limp with sorrow,
as they crave your presence

"Do not speak"
I won't; I do fear the demons that will leave my mouth
My stubborn tongue should obey my brain,
just this once

I am hopeless as lay in bed and,
Miss the sleep I desperately need
You remain oblivious and deaf to my despair

I don't like pain
but I do

You're the predator to my prey
I'm a stupid fragile creature
falling in love with a carnivore

Eat my heart out
paint your hate for me
on the walls with my blood

I'm too sad to write my college essays
My loneliness is not allowing me to concentrate
But if I don't get into Uni,
how will I get a job to support us?

Maybe I'm too focused on my fear
that there won't even be an "us" to support
I over think everything, day after day
My brain will analyze every move I make so I don't upset you,
why can't it do the same for Algebra?

If there were a class on depression
I'd be the star pupil
They'd label me as brilliant
if only my grades were as high as my anxiety levels

The only fix would be a class on you
I could learn your ins and outs
and create a formula on winning your heart
Instead of a final, I could just fall in love with you
and pass with flying colors

"I think you're a *******"
We both laugh
The words leave my friend's mouth,
meant as a joke,
but there is a sad truth to her words

I can still feel the scars of my past
My skin is bare;
The abuse was emotional, verbal, mental
The bruises are internal

Give everything you have,
earn neglect in return
Give too much of yourself,
and they continue to take until nothing is left

But you love the thrill
How rapid your heart beats,
as you fear that they'll never return

Break my hard shell,
and beat me until
I can no longer feel

I crave the road
All I want is to feel the steering wheel in my grasp,
and smell the gasoline in the air

This town is not my home
Do I even know the definition,
of the word belonging?
Take me to the city of freaks,
where my abnormalities will be embraced

The desire is greatest as we speak,
and you tell me that you taste the road in my name
I want to get away,
and go taste the strawberries in your mouth

Circumstances leave me trapped here,
my bitter tongue cannot yet taste the dusty road
It's just so hard to stay still
when the tip of my tongue can ******* true home

I want to hit the road
Only ten hours away from your arms (my home)
Only five hundred miles from your mouth
(the taste of home my tongue desire)

In school they showed us a video
about drug cartels and drug addition,
but all I could think about was you,
and how much I crave your touch.

The mouth of the presenter is moving,
but his words fall on deaf ears
that crave the sound of your voice.

As I think about your lips,
and how they taste,
I can't help but wonder if this is addiction,
because all of my desire is revolved around you.
(Constantly wanting you by my side)
(Constantly, constantly craving you)

I've never injected a needle,
or taken a hit.
Come to think of it,
those drug dealers have no idea how intense I feel,
so they can keep their substances.
Why would I need that
when I already have you?
(The substance of love is powerful)
(in the form of you)

I am four foot ten
"But you are still growing"
But I have to question if
I really want to
(Growing up is hard)

I've made stupid mistakes
"Your brain is still growing"
Maybe I like my dumb bravado
Please don't make me face off
the truth of reality

What about my heart?
"You are much too young
to know what love is"
But I'm old enough
to know my heart beat
(and who it beats for)

Physically I am
seventeen
Mentally I feel
thirty-three
So explain to me
what is age?
(The concept of age
is just a number)

If I must grow old
can I keep you by my side?
I hope you don't mind
my short height
(and my stupid bravado)

Will you grow with me?
I'm too young too know
how long we will last
But I'm old enough to know
That my young heart want you now

(and my old heart wants you forever)