What's important to me,
is that you're better

When you come back,
I'll be right here
waiting

At this point there is no one to stop me
There is misery flooding my veins,
and all I want is to bleed it out

How does someone like me,
go this long without a single cut?
Never have I pressed a knife to my skin,
but maybe I can escape this hell

I want to open my skin,
and see dark crimson on the floor
I'll paint my hatred of the world,
with my blood on a paintbrush

They tell me they do it to forget,
and that is what I need
Let everything fade away,
and allow me to down in my own blood

I hate what I am forced to see in the mirror,
day by endless day
Something with no real use,
to a large and cold world

Maybe I don't have the stomach to control my fate,
but there are days that I glance at the road,
and think to myself,
"What I wouldn't give
to be hit by a car"

I crave a hospital bed
Not in a mental asylum
(though I desperately need it)
but next to a heart monitor,
with only a single line

I am envious of the ones who escaped
The man found hanging by a noose
The woman passed out next to an empty bottle
How dare they leave,
when I am trapped here

I'm too young to feel this empty
Just let me leave a note,
and be done with it
No one will notice
No one will care,
so leave me be

Maybe the day I die,
will finally be the day I smile

You have some nerve,
thinking those thoughts
There are many things I am unsure of,
but never have I once questioned my love for you

What I question is why I feel pain,
whenever you are away
I thought this was something I could handle,
yet a day without you feels like a year in hell

What I don't question is why the words haven't left my mouth
It has less to do with my last mistake,
and more to do with me not wanting to repeat
(but maybe I'm just scared)

Then I question how you would respond
Surely if I don't receive the words back,
my heart will shatter once more
(for once I'm afraid of the silence)

"What are you doing up so late?
School and responsibilities await,
you need your sleep for the morrow"

I lay awake because all my thoughts take her shape
If I close my eyes,
I will only dream of her essence
In my nightmares,
I can hear her screams

"Go to sleep; she'll be back
Don't let her turn you into an insomniac
You're sleep deprived and full of sorrow"

What if she's awake at one in the morning?
Does she want me there,
to hold her in the dark?
It be worth the suffering,
if I only knew she dreamt of me once

The words refuse to leave my mouth,
but I cannot deny the truth,
as I lay alone, miserable in my own bed

Sadness wraps around me like a blanket
my arms are tight around my pillow,
but they limp with sorrow,
as they crave your presence

"Do not speak"
I won't; I do fear the demons that will leave my mouth
My stubborn tongue should obey my brain,
just this once

I am hopeless as lay in bed and,
Miss the sleep I desperately need
You remain oblivious and deaf to my despair

I don't like pain
but I do

You're the predator to my prey
I'm a stupid fragile creature
falling in love with a carnivore

Eat my heart out
paint your hate for me
on the walls with my blood