I loved
I loved to love.
I loved to love you

Truly it was you
through my thoughts, you blew.
Like a cold wind waking me up,
or your warm touch, laying me down.

Glistening on your skin
from your head to your chin,
the tears of joy Always fell within.

but the next day, It wasn't joy
for you to be so coy
I died within.

As you told me to go,
you defiled my soul
and tore me to pieces, with him.

Every day I wake up. Sun shines through the blinds,
down on me, Hopes and dreams live again.
Somewhere here, it must be. Somewhere I can find,
life. As the day goes on the dreams fade
and all I uncover is grey. The words on me ears,
"Keep Going". Gets me to the next stop.
The bus plows though snow and I fear,

In front of it is the best place to be.

I can't stop thinking about it.
Everything that I did keeps replaying
(Insert generic text here)

I know everyone feels it, I just with I had someone
      to relate to.
someone whos felt the pain iv felt,
           but it isn't her.
           I really cant even say that,
Its probably just a lie. That's probably why
she never really opened up.

The lies on her tongue stayed quiet.
They filled and swelled to breaking.
and the first one to flow off the tongue was
                                                      I'm not in love.

Remington 870 12-Gauge shot gun.
Your trigger would be so easy to pull.
Fully oiled and loaded clean. The shot would come out perfectly.
My head, would come off perfectly.
Tempting me. Calling out to me. One 60 cent shell, one $500 gun, and one..
     "Priceless" Life. Right...
Maybe the only thing priceless that comes out of me would be the red on the canvas behind me.
Painted with all the reds in my head.
The red tape I could never cut. The red rage burning inside me. The red passion, Lost. And last, the red blood, Useless.

Why I did not, I can't understand.

Everything that I was,
Is gone.

Blissfully Ignorant.
Ignorantly happy
              Blindly so.

My life was perfect and I saw nothing wrong.
              Blindly so.

Your version of reality, Your Perfect world.
              Lacking me,
                                    The reality, A MUST.
Must fix. Exchange me for
              Lacking.

Don't lie to me. You were never hurt.
No real tears. No real pain. Just a change.

Your transition was of the changing leaves.
Its color was all that changed.
                                                        ­ My color disgusted.
You needed something new.
Mine was bitter.
                                         My Tree, Old and weathered,
But roots, never deep enough.
Eroded, I fell.

               so you traded for a sapling.
               grass roots, Illusions of happiness.

One day, darling. One day you will see.
Slashing through the forest of hearts,
        Only leaves you with ashes of the.

They say real strength is not just enduring it,
but picking up the pieces afterwards.

I guess it just takes awhile with a heart made of glass.

Transparent with clear intentions.

No lies. No deceit. No games
but the game was played anyway.

You traded Board Walk for Baltic,
Ventnor for Vermont,
and every piece of fake money you had

for another roll.

Forget getting out of jail for free,
when your stuck in misery.

Every day clicks by
not a clock,
                  but a revolver
For every click
          A click I wish.

The click rings in my head,
right next to my ears, blood red.

hoping its real, I clench,
"Biting the bullet", I flinch

I wish.

I put all my eggs in one basked.
          G l a s s   E g g s

And they were taken,
                 one by one
and broken.

That cold hard wall you put up
to keep from getting hurt.
that old broken glass.


And that one last egg I was left.
Fell off.
 
Broken glass. Crush it fine enough,
                          And it looks Almost like glitter.

            I hope you like it.
because in the end,
                                 Its all you'l ever get.

Through your eyes. I could save the world.
Leap across tall buildings and catch crashing planes.

But that look, Empty?
                                    Contemptibly?
Cuts deep,
                  and stops me dead in my tracks.
I was helpless.

A smile to die for,
                              I'd die to see one last time.

Do me a favor
and slit my throat.

Cut my heart out like an Aztec priest
You can keep it
I probably won't need it.

Hold it. Cold,
It used to beat for you

But now....

After stealing my heart
and torturing my soul

I find it's easier to give
when you have no reason to live

And you, My darling.
Cut deeper than any knife I own.

The things you laughed at.
The things I did.

Never a Lie,
                     but Never believe.
                                                        ­                          Doing Everything I can
"I love you" more than.
                Every ******* hair on this body.
                Every eyelash fallen.
                Every kiss, Ever kissed.
                                                         ­                         
               What is the definition of love
I tried.                                                           ­            Harder than anything.
To make you feel special.
To make you believe, you were it.

I was done searching.

But afraid, you
         R  a  n.

Funny thing how forgetful we are.
Mind drifts off and so does the consciousness.

The history of the world and the life age of a species can be lost at the blink of an eye.

Funny how emotions work just like memories.
With the blink of an eye, you'r there in my mind.

Haunting me like a lost soul. I can't escape.
Your essence around me, engulfing me, choking me.

She says "Its dead."
But as a matter of Fact,

In the end,
So is everything else.

The weight in grams, Hasn't changed.
The way I feel about you, Hasn't changed.

Though it feels lighter than when I put it on last,
            It's just as heavy.
                    And hurts just as much.

It remains untouched.
Not changed, Tarnished, rusted, cracked or broken.
                     That was the point.

The promised, everlasting future beheld to us,
                                                             ­                Torn away.

Washed in tears and dried with time.
        Time is all that's left.
                                           Waiting

I loved
   Everything about you

From the way you brushed your hair
    to the way you would stare.

The way we kissed
all the way to your hiss.

Even you'r blink of an eye
Could get me to fly

I miss you.

Open your Eyes,
      I beg you!
             I beg!
                 I...
Its all I need.

Its all I plead.

But the damage was done
and you had you're fun.

...so were done.