Because I am butter,
I looked at him and wanted to find the weakness
I wanted to syringe my comfort into him and find liquidation’s in something so solid
His tough skin.
Layers of epidermis.
They would be layers peeled back.
Layers revealed in stone as compacted sand.
I looked at him and whispered to myself “I wonder what is in him that softens? I wonder what is in him that makes him weak.”

-A.H.-

You might hate me. I would understand. I’ve been through a lot to get where I am. I’ve become monster after monster, those things that make us horrified. I’ve looked in the mirror without knowing who is staring back. I’ve tacked and taped myself up. Picked and racked myself up, into piles that could last miles, no wonder you can’t stand me. It’s petrifying to see where ive been and see what I had to become to become who I am. To see how the denial made my tongue so slick when spoken to. To see all the toxicity that left me rotting. And who I am, not even I completely understand.

It doesn't fit
                                        My body wasn't made for this material
                                               I look down
                                         There it is
                                             The reminder that I'll never be real enough
                                 I'm not cold like I am all the time , its seeped into my skin ...

                      My eyes show my fear ,

I don’t hate you. You can be so much more than something I hate but what I hate is you’ll never try to be.

Beautiful ,
Beauty
No ....hand on chest . Chilling.
Painted fingertips and Smell of cherries .

Pretending ..
That's all that ever seems to be happening
So self aware
So in my mind
Wishing to be careless without thinking
Needing to catch myself when I let go of the locks that keep me hidden away
I need help but fear too much that it's all in my head
I know what's wrong but I try to ignore it
Why do I feel so comfortable around you , why does ”she” keep coming out and “he “ going back in .
I need the torture...of knowing my remedy for all madness  

By : Tal Haynes

You wanna prevent a eruption when it  already happend
Your job has been done for quit some time
Your lingering around
I dont need your pitty
Stay out of my conversations
My thoughts are my own
Teengers talk thats what they do its nothing new
If I think someone is being stupid let me think it
If I get in trouble thats my fault I dont need your help
Some things you just gotta deal with
The  words slip from my mouth easliy because I dont care , I dont care about them
They need no details to explain them because there simple minded
You say ingnore them but how many years did it take for you to be able to do it
Your not fighting my battles so dont tell me its easy
Your not living my life
Your not a kid so you dont know the social competion

You are fradulent
You explointed  me
I thought I was liking you but now I’m far from it
Were something else...
Were divergent and dissimilar
You talk behind my back
Your shady and fake almost that of a plastic tree
50 cents for three or maybe even free
Your not worth it !
Your two faced and I don’t like both parts of you
Its sad because I let you see all parts of me
I guess you didn’t like what you saw
Was there a flaw ?



By: Tal Haynes A.K.A Tummycakes555

If I hate her why do I stare ?
If I think about all shes done , why do I care ?

It comes out of the dark hole
It suffactes me
Please don’t  stand so close
Put me into quarantine , I have fallen ill
They put one leg up and let it rip
The crowd has fallen still

the lips
The hips
The in and dips
I talk about them
Shh they say ..dont hate yourself that way
The food to bulk , the food to slim
" honey your caving in " .
I never said I hated myself

I will be stronger , instead of throwing hits , I lasted longer
Maybe I'm scared or unprepared , or I don't feel the need to lash out
You can talk,  but those words will get me riches , there's glitches , in the system ..were I win .
My enemy will become my motivation , I Am feeling the heat , radiation .
See I go home at the end of the day , there they do not exist , there they decay
The told me since day one I'd be nothing , now I'm breathing to be something
I don't talk about it as chatter , or to make them matter
- Alex Haynes

You all thought I was out of my bounds , that rope stopped cutting my skin
I tear at my flesh every night in front of the mirror , and I wash the blood away with my sadness
It's not easy being two types of people
I'll try to let you understand
I was wrapped in pink as soon as they wiped the blood off of me
And just because I prefer he
Doesn't mean no one else is screaming , sorry , I will try to duck tape there mouth
I am still trapped behind the glass and only my fingers every slip threw my chamber door
Please don't love me , I will only cause you to be confused
I only get a small taste of the whine
If only I had the courage to cut a slit to let them out of me
If only
By Alex Haynes

Sometimes we think people “couldn't be that cruel “ .
That a dime is worth a dime
That were in a different time
And that stealing someone's soul ain't a crime
But , lately the news has been saying , that people could refuse service
To someone just like me
To someone who thought they were free
Hasn't this already happened with the blacks and whites ?
Haven't we already learned this in insit right ?
Why do we hunt after people that are different , and make them fight ?
You back a cat up into a corner , and he scratches you
Now he's so bad for protecting himself ?
That's just another piece of evidence on the shelf ?
You call us attention seekers when we speak
But you don't see your ignorance reeks
Are lives and freedom are on the line “land of the free “ ?
Yet women and men can't ***
But it isn't natural you say ?
You weren't born this way ?
It's embedded into our brains
But maybe we're just insane ..
You'd rather ****
Then let us be happy
But your religion treats every sin the same
I Am not saying religion is bad , it's just some people make others sad
You can not re -  write the words
Murders and speakers of hate you should feel the shame
tears on your hands you are the ones to blame


By : Alex Haynes
A.K.A Tummycakes555

I wanna be your light , shining on you and bringing you outta the dark !
I wanna be the sun to your moon
I could be your whistle tune
The mother of all what we thought were stars
Misfits of our solar system
I wanna be your king jupiter ...babe you can be my padme
I have talents and you could be my amazing
Sitting on a blanket , getting bit , while star gazing
I make a good friend but that's not the labels end

Don't let them get you
You run that's all you got
But eventually you'll need rest
eventually you'll get caught
And you need air and you're hacking on breathing
no gold metal your receiving
There's no finish line so who's to win
I don't know but there's a "begin"


You let them get you
You ran that's all you had
It was driving you mad
But eventually you needed rest
eventually you got caught
the start was the shot
And you needed air and you're still hacking on breathing
no gold metal you received
You feel as if you had been thieved  
There's no finish line so who's to win
I don't know but there was a "begin" ...


By:Alex Haynes
A.K.A Tummycakes555