My first impression
Is your first perception
Aware of all my indiscretions
Your razor blades, cut the shades
Open eyes, watching scared
look afraid
My past, trying to hide it all
Chin up
Need to walk tall
Leave the book open
Probably going to fall
Back covers description sets
A portion of my life's regrets
They feel a need to dissect
Every portion of my intellect

So call me skitzo or call me nothing
I got to be me or you know I'm bluffing
Insanity of truth I keep stuffing

Cause I'm a little crazy
But it's the skitzo that made me
So go on and try to break me
you'll just irritate me
Cause I’m as real as it gets
And your all faking
I’m deep underground
And your all mainstream
Everyone wants to be on my team
They want me like dope to a fiend
But I ride alone
On my myself I lean

I pull out my teeth one by one
My hair falls to the floor
My bones ache and muscles sore
A transformation down to the core
Old thoughts old feelings fade away
Reborn to a new world a new day
I conform to meet their needs
But my ears begin to bleed
The sound that begins to lead
Me into the garden of Adam and Eve
Under the tree I do believe
That if I pray
I may leave that life of yesterday
And keep my demons almost at bay
Section by section
Piece by piece
You rip me apart
I put myself back
A transformation
From you rubble my new creation

Ripe is the apple
Dangling brilliance
I stare lost in its allure
Temptation
But not to tempt
Your own creation
Ironically in your image were made
Hysterically historically played
Blind fold close to the edge we live bold
One mistake and we plummet deep
One sin and your soul is satans to keep
But we were created to sin
In your image we were created weak

I see her in my dreams
White dress twirling around
Dancing here with me
Brown eyes that light up the sky
With her I feel like I could fly
Away, far away
From this life of sin
With her by my side I feel like
Life can be built again
Cause she's my beautiful blonde hair lady
Oh she's driving me so crazy
I can't see me without her in my life
Don't wanna try, oh don't not want to try
Her touch gives me that rush
That feeling that can crush
Any doubt in my mind
That she won't be here for the rest of time
I run my fingers through her hair
And prepare for that smile
That goes for miles
I could only dream of what our future could be
But we will always be dancing in my dreams

Addicts always say one day at a time
But how do we live life with dope on our mind
We are powerless over our addiction
Do I even have to mention GOD
restoring us to sanity
Taking us away from our vanity
Step one, step two, step three, step four
These are the steps that open the door
To a new life living clean and sober
Like an old car with a brand new motor
Even though my life has done a 180
Every other day still gets a little crazy
I thank god for my sponsor and my sober friends
AA, NA and the meeting I attend
The most important person is the one with one day
Don't worry all your gunna say
Is your life's story
You may think it's kind of boring
But it will save your life
We are by your side
If your back hurts
We will remove the knife
Of your old life

I'm becoming so tired
Of this civil war
The energy that's required
I just can't restore
An endless life of battles
In an endless war
Everyday I wonder
Am I worth fighting for

Can you define disease
The destruction that it leaves
I'm out fighting my demons
While my family already grieves
They cant begin to conceive
The constant civil war
That destroys me mentally

Just try to imagine
Having an addictive personality
That forcibly deceives
Makes you ******* believe
That a ******* drug
Is the #1 survival instinct
Completely impairs
Any rational way to think
Once this disease sets in
All dreams of normality
Quickly go the the sink

I can't handle all these emotions
All this weight I'm toting
My baggage from the years
And all the drugs I used for coping
I feel so mentally broken
But spiritually awoken
But as long as I breath air
I'll fight with words unspoken
those who don't know me
Judge me on my clothing
They think that my appearance
Means I've struggled for nothing
But my struggle is still erupting
So let's see the cash
If you think that I am bluffing
I'm so scared for the future
Since I've ****** up my past
My self inflicted torture
Wasted years that went so fast
I hope the pain has taught me something
To avoid the deadly crash
That addiction always leads to
The high that is my last