sometimes it'd come; a uniting word
something soft and almost unheard
others it was a thing felt
a need that swelled and couldn't be helped
city nights hinted by smothering black
hiding away where none could track
hours over coffee and somber tones of death
yet there was more life with each passing breath
every portion i tasted and i knew
and even now, i wish i'd never seen you
a thing far too sweet for a feast
and a bone not fit to be gnawed by a beast
it was only you for whom i'd kneel
and it was only you whom i sought to heal
if ever should you go the moon would fall
all would hush and slow to a crawl
even after every word your shadow will loom
and i feel frozen in sight of your doom
i know no words no prayers i could say
the will of your god will have its way
but still i cry as the plowman comes to reap
i will lay beside you as you go to sleep

rivers run through rock and stone
souls pass through flesh and bone
i suffocate as i reach out to scream
as the current drags me down stream
it was you; always you i would see
dreams of a light yearning to be
to pass through the bars and wooden frame
to give illumination to my greatest shame
give me a year- 50 weeks more
and i would cross to your side of the shore
you stopped and stared to wave and smile
yet here i stand twisting ever while
death means nothing to an empty heart
but its the ones who were dead from the start
who seem to linger and shiver and last
dragging you under into waters past
i reach out i scream in vain
and you look on and see me; plain
i am nothing
i am dust
but this is a world where in dust we must trust
so i'll burn every bridge and sink every ship
and i'll make believe that this did not exist
and i'll laugh a bitter call as the masts begin to roast
the call of a man who's been chasing ghosts

A storm; weather which wears the stone in two,
The rose; which from her sisters, I took for you.
The warm; the blood that flows from head to toe,
and the words; words which we utter to and fro.

Simple gifts, water and life, as trivial as empty speech-
Yet, how can these mere earthly things have heavenly reach?
But, I forget, as I stand cold and wet, winds blowing by,
That I have made my trek to these steps to catch an angel's eye.

My arms outstretched, branches grasping for the sun;
The sacrifice of the bush set for this wholly, holy one.
There stands I, bare of pride, daring never to feign
Feign my love for Elysium in this eternal rain.

god is small and white;
yet sometimes yellow.
god is a capsule.
he shows me the light.

I found god in hands-
hands of a smiling man.
I love god, I hate him too.
he tells me what to say
what to do.

god takes me up high;
above the stars and night.
god drops me down low,
beneath the burning ice.

god will never leave me,
this I will always know.
I love god, I hate him too,
he tells me what to feel,
what to do.

I feel gods hands on me,
I feel fingers around my neck.
he leans in and says he loves me,
then he breaks me into dust.

god touches me, smooth, soft.
he asks me to let him in.
I love god, I hate him too.
he tells me what to think,
what to do.

god keeps me warm-
but his body is dead cold.
he smiles, and holds grace,
then spits and laughs in my face.

I take god in, forced and warm,
without him I cringe and I writhe.
I love god, I hate him too,
he tells me how to live,
what to do?

I walk alone on this sorrowful shore,
Lungs fill with spite, my heart drowning at sea.
Memory fleeting; lost thoughts of before,
Before summer nights, the waves, you and me.

Hazel spice warms my eyes, and gives me hope;
Auburn drapes down the visage of white light.
Sunlight, some see sacred, while I praise snow,
Snow kissed with autumn leaves, without blight

She walks alone, upon the bitter sand,
Exhaling ocean winds, bringing me back home.
Earthly angel, reach out and clasp my hand;
Thea, come sit on my nautical throne.

We the king and queen of this western shore,
Let us rule this sea; be alone no more.

You tear into me when I wake
When I think.
Eat.
Sleep.
You make me warm a while
then you go.
And I'm left to
pick up
  what's left.
Even though I know:
your pain
keeps
me
  alive.
So it can't surprise me when
it hurts even more
  each time you come back
because I can't
say

  no.

O, emerald angel, give me pity!
This immortal sea king has dared to dream
Away with my chains, free me from this city,
Where sorrow and filth bubble in cream.

Sweet viridian seraph, look into my seas,
As they so long to be one with life.
So distant from your guarded bushes and trees,
Yet my oceans reach in strife.

God, grace me, as I look on this jade cherub I see,
Her song above forest floor soothes Leviathan's heart.
Too good a creature to live in where mortals teem,
Yet my waters ever seek her until earth is torn apart.

So, good lady of green, give me you, I, a lord of blue;
For in all I do, I do for you, done earnest and true

I run my fingers along scars long healed,
feeling the tissue strained to bond,
knowing the sand since fallen.
No blood that falls will **** the pain;
needles and pins in a leather sling
and the claws of the beast remain.

An urban song, draw me to the break,
the end of the page calls me.
I look, and lights shine on shadowy deeds;
my birthright, a scathing iron in my heart.
Never to follow the path of the father,
I go to follow the path of a son.
A son lost in the fog.