I wish you could understand
that I really am trying
so hard
to be happy
but its just
so hard
when nobody even wants me
to be around
I'm so sorry
I have tried
I have failed
& I don't have the strength
to speak
     to breathe
         to strive
it's so hard
pretending to be alive

- a.f.

you told me
I could cry you a river
if I needed to
& you would be right there,
the sun to dry up my tears
but I told you
that I can not cry the slightest rain
although I want to
because you never learned to swim
through the storm
so when you disappear
my tears will fall
like a drizzle in July
& you will not be around
to watch it all evaporate
        that's the truth about the sea
        & how I wouldn't let you drown in me

- a.f.

I'm missing out
on the rest of my life
restrained by the people
that claim to be who I need
at a time like this
when all I think I need
is to have
my real friends,
a sunny day,
a trip to the water,
a night under the stars,
mistakes that'll turn in to
stories for a lifetime,
but it's against the commandments
to be apart of something
that they don't approve of
so excuse me if I become
a bit of a rule breaker
because I just can't stand
sitting at home

-a.f.