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Alex Caulder Nov 2013
Scars bind me to you,
like thread binds the books on my shelf
No, the words on the page aren't routed in hate,
but the lines on my wrist aren't routed in love

A mirror holds so much truth,
but what you're telling me is lies
Can't you see the pain I endure to please you?
Yet the blood still can't wash it away

So I lace on a smile like I do on my shoes,
it didn't fool her, though
Seems my facade is cracking like your glass,
I won't shatter, though

I will be stronger than you,
and though it is my scars that bind
I won't conceal you like I do them,
because you're the reminder of what needs to be washed away.
I wrote this for a friend I love dearly. Get better, beautiful girl.
Alex Caulder Nov 2013
If only we could leave this place,
I'd take your hand and our feet would lift from Earth
Our lungs are joined and our hearts are one,
We'd share our cares, our worries gone
Come on baby; fly away with me

I can see it now,
We're passing mountains, our feet on clouds
Baby, our home is on its way 'round,
An eye in the sky, a carrousel on the ground
Come on baby; fly away with me

No, don't ask them to understand,
Jealousy stings, it's just us here now
The ocean's far below,
The clouds block it out
Come on baby; fly away with me

Hush, hush, the man on the moon sleeps,
His head aloft, his slumber deep.
Baby, that could be you and me,
Our house is in the clouds now
Come on baby; fly away with me

I heard tears don't exist up there,
Up there, way up in the atmosphere
The feeling of wind against our skin,
It's making tangles in our hair
Come on baby, fly away with me

Catching lightning,
Thunder laughing,
Baby are you with me?
You'll see this page,
Recall the words I say,
"Come on baby; fly away with me"
Alex Caulder Sep 2013
I ask you kindly sir;
Take into consideration the marks
angry tears have left on my cheeks
Notice my blank stares and heavy eyes
Respond to the crack in my voice
and the shaking in my hands
Before you write me off as useless for good

I ask you kindly sir;
Before you mark my paper
with your snippy little pen
See the scars and bruises on my skin
and the pounding in my head
I beg of you;
Before you label me as lazy and arrogant,
know how it has felt to be me this past year
Alex Caulder Sep 2013
I see it on their faces
What's it like to have no family?
Their questions cloud their eyes
Did they ever arrest the man that took them?
Their curiosity it hindering their better judgement
Do they not know their pity is not wanted?

I'll tell you now
Blood family is nothing but that; blood
I have a family, I'm sure
We're as broken as broken can be
Five boys and me, all left to bait the wolves
But put enough pressure on us and we join forces
A unit bound by angst,
Connected to combat just that

Their words will bother me no more
What's it like to have no family?
Well, I'll tell you now
Five broken boys are all I have
But I believe that together,
Maybe we could be whole again
Alex Caulder Aug 2013
Your silence is deafening 
Because when you speak, 
Your words are so
****
Beautiful

All I hear is the patter of rain
On the roof and
It reminds me of June,
Now I miss you so
**** 
Much

We talked in your room
Whilst the sky opened up and
Released its fury around us
And we laughed all
****
Night 

You pulled me to you,
Telling me I was beautiful
Whilst your lips explored my neck.
That was the moment I realized
I love you, so 
**** 
Much
Alex Caulder Aug 2013
Back off,
Stop involving yourself in my life
Back off,
I'll talk to, listen to and do whatever the hell I like
Back off,
I'm my own person- I can think for myself
Back off,
I didn't ask for your opinion
Back off,
Everyone has fears, insecurities and flaws
Back off,
No one ever asked for your help
Back off,
You don't even know me
Back.
The.
****.
Off,
I don't like you.
Alex Caulder Jul 2013
Cold liquid courses down your throat,
burning its path to your lungs.
Each breath hurts more than the last,
but you just can't bring yourself to care.
You trip and stumble and fall,
but you don't stop, because you know;
each step will take you farther away.
Your thoughts are jumbled,
flipping and vaulting through your mind.
Your vision is blurring,
fraying,
disintegrating.

"Mum, she's not breathing!"
What?
Why isn't she breathing?
"I can't find a pulse! **** it, mum!"
You blink and shake your head,
trying to force the coherent thoughts back.
Sirens.
Why do you hear sirens?
Another voice.
"Ma'am, do you know what she took?"
She overdosed?

"Mum! You were meant to watch her!"
Is that a stretcher?
Where are they taking her?!
Oh God, it's all coming back to you;
Cheating. Betrayal. Divorce. Her depression.
...she tried to **** herself?
Abort! Abort!
You can't handle this yet;
...just one more shot.

"How can you be drinking right now, mum?!"
Your daughter is fading fast,
her life hanging in the balance.
The pain is overwhelming you,
you just want it all to go away.
Is that how she felt?
Is that why she did it?
Maybe that's what you'll do;
you did always enjoy the oblivion...

— The End —