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Jan 2012 · 2.0k
The day I lost the lottery
Alex Acosta Jan 2012
The day I lost the lottery I didn't shed a tear.
I went home and screamed "*******" till my voice was lost
and till blood spilled out my ears.

The day I lost the lottery I believe I lost my mind.
I ignored every emotion in my ******* head
And stabbed my heart and threw it through the grind.

The day I lost the lottery I truly thought my life was through.
Because the day I lost the lottery,
It was the day that I lost you.
Aug 2011 · 569
What this must be.
Alex Acosta Aug 2011
I think they call it Love.
Love is what this must be.
Only an Angel can cause these feelings,
Very deep inside of me.
Eternity with you?
Yes. You and only me.
Observing life with you,
Understanding what happiness can be.
Restfulness while I'm in your arms,
And recklessness when I'm away.
Coping when I'm not with you.
Hoping to see you another day.
Evidently, this feeling has quietly taken over me.
Love is what this is, love is what this must be.
Aug 2011 · 738
When We're Apart
Alex Acosta Aug 2011
When my lips aren't on your lips,
When my hands aren't between yours.
When we're not laying side by side,
I'm thinking of you more and more.
When we're not cuddling on my bed,
Or looking for adventures to find,
When we're not together at all,
You're still running through my mind.
When I'm lonesome in my room,
And upset that we're apart,
If I cant hold you in my arms,
I'll be holding you in my heart.
Aug 2011 · 563
I love you when you're you.
Alex Acosta Aug 2011
I love you when you're you. I love watching when you don't expect,
My eyes observing every inch of you, Like the lovely spots upon your neck.

Those beautiful nails upon your fingertips, And the adorable spot beneath your eye.
I love the tired face after you yawn, And how your beauty shines when you don't try.

I love watching you bite your finger nails, And as you play with your glistening hair.
I love spectating your every actions And how you act when I'm not there.

I love when your bangs cover your face, and then how you casually lift,
Your delicate right arm to uncover those lovely gazing hazel gifts.

Your eyes are capable of euphoria that can put happiness in the air.
Or can cause pure devastation, all in one simple glare.

I stare in fascination with each movement that you make.
Your very existence steals my breath away, and delivers more than I can take.

I love watching your lips call me Baby, and hearing your voice when you say it.
I want to let you know how I'm crazy for you in words, but Idk how to convey it.

So I write down these feelings, Just to give you a tiny view.
Of my utter fascination with simply everything you do.

So when you catch me staring, It shouldn't be a surprise.
I'm just making great use of my vision, by loving you with my eyes.
Apr 2011 · 501
Most Wonderful to Me
Alex Acosta Apr 2011
A beautiful woman isn't hard to find.
A beautiful soul is a find you can boast.
Very rarely these two qualities combine,
To form the angel who possesses them both.
An angel unaware of her beauty,
Yet shows it in her acts, every day.
Does all for her loved ones and expects nothing in return.
And provides for them all, in every way.
An angel who suffers insecurities.
Insecurities that do not exist.
Blind to her loveliness and beauteous ways,
She denies them all with instant resist.
And such a shame that it is, that she can not see,
The beauty she has, as if its a blur.
She continues on, unknowingly,
That there is no one as beautiful as her.
With the smile of an angel,
And love as vast as the sea.
She is a perfect image,
Of how all women should be.
With the strength of lion,
And a heart bigger then she,
She is a wonderful mother.
Most wonderful to me.
Oct 2010 · 1.8k
Letter to My "Father"
Alex Acosta Oct 2010
I'd like to call you Father,
But that would be a lie.
For a Father's there for his child,
So to me you're just some Guy.
I'd like to call you a Man,
But that would not be true.
For a Man has morals and respect,
And that was never you.
Even though you were in my life,
You were never actually in it.
To you parent was just a title,
You were never actually committed.
I remember the soccer games I had,
And how I had so much fun.
The ones you never went to,
Because my team had never won.
I remember when you tried to fight me,
And how you kicked me out your house,
Took the car that you gave me,
Said I'll never be a man, and to get out.
At 16, I cried like a baby,
But not because I was scared.
It was because I loved you deeply,
And you didn't seem to care.
You cut me out of your world,
As if we had no relation.
You disappeared from my life,
No sign of you at my high school graduation.
But now, at 18 years old,
I finally understand.
You are just a grown Child,
Who doesn't know how to be a Man.
But what is a Man to you Dad?
Will you please explain?
Is it someone who treats women like ****?
And causes there sons daily pain?
Is it someone who would rather send a check,
Then to rather see his boy?
A crusher of all dreams and hopes,
Who leaves their child completely destroyed?
Is it a guy that shows no love?
A person who has constantly hated?
A Father to a child,
That he's ashamed to have created?
Well if that's your definition,
All I have to say is ****.
You were right this whole time,
I'll never be a Man.
Sep 2010 · 803
We Lied
Alex Acosta Sep 2010
We lied to each other.
And we said we never would.
But the tables have now turned,
And it's all understood.
The lie that caught my eye,
The one we did not see,
Is when we said we'd die without each other.
I without you, you without me.
I think about it often.
And the truth always arrives,
Because you are not dead,
And I am still alive.
Jul 2010 · 568
The Outcome
Alex Acosta Jul 2010
When you have no one to confide in,
You become your own best friend.
You talk yourself to feeling better,
You seem okay, but you pretend.

When you have no one to lean on,
You have to stand up on your own.
You can not given into emotion,
Or the fact that your alone.

When you wish that you'd stop living,
Just to get some peace,
You wish you had a piece of mind,
To make those evil thoughts decrease.

When you come to the realization,
That these dark images make it hard to see,
Do not be alarmed for the slightest moment,
It only means that you are just like me.
May 2010 · 705
My Hero
Alex Acosta May 2010
To live my life without you,
Would result in the loss of mine.
For I'd rather blow my mind into oblivion,
Then to not be able to see your smile shine.

Ive always taken you for granted,
And I can not apologize enough.
You've taught me to keep myself together,
To look forward and remain tough.

You have always been my hero,
I don't believe I ever told you that.
You've saved me from all the bad in the world,
There's no way i can thank you back.

I want to make it up to you,
The pain Ive caused through out the years.
I want to erase myself from your mind,
So you can look back without the tears.

But to do that would be selfish,
Because I'm the "Lords gift to you".
You beautiful fool, I am no gift,
Just a monster the devil helped construe.

I hate myself for hurting you,
The beautiful angel that you are.
You deserve some one better than I,
Some one who surpasses me by far.

I am so sorry, my loved one,
For the damage I have done.
I'm sorry you have the burden,
Of calling me your son.

I'm sorry my dear, Ive failed you,
Your unconditional love could not keep me calm.
I am ashamed of myself, and all my actions,
I do not deserve to call you mom.
Apr 2010 · 514
If now is the end
Alex Acosta Apr 2010
If now is the end,
Then this I must say:
I wish you the best,
And I hope you're okay.

If now is the end,
Dont be surprised when I cry.
Because as soon as you leave,
Half of me is destined to die.

If now is the end,
I hope you depart from my mind.
Because there's no way I can continue,
Knowing I left you behind.

If now is the end,
I suppose it was fate.
But first I must thank you,
Because you made my life great.
Apr 2010 · 638
Bi-Polar Disorder
Alex Acosta Apr 2010
I tricked myself into believing,
That this pain would soon be gone.
But my mind was so misleading.
I have never been so wrong.

This darkness that once consumed me,
Has made a home inside my head.
It comes and goes when it pleases,
And tears my mind to shreds.

It gnaws at my sanity.
Leaving no trace of it behind.
Only leaving images of profanity,
And turning my sight of good will blind.

I am ready for my doom.
To live my life with this "cancer".
It would be wise to ready my tomb,
Since I will never recieve my answer.

I want to be free from theses chains.
To live happily every day.
But still my pain remains.
And it is here to stay.
Apr 2010 · 647
My Selfish Self.
Alex Acosta Apr 2010
I want to live every day of my life with you
except for one day:
The day you leave this world and go to a better one.
I dread that day.
Which is why I selfishly want to leave before you,
So I can live all my life with you
And not a single day without you.

— The End —