When you have no one to confide in,
You become your own best friend.
You talk yourself to feeling better,
You seem okay, but you pretend.

When you have no one to lean on,
You have to stand up on your own.
You can not given into emotion,
Or the fact that your alone.

When you wish that you'd stop living,
Just to get some peace,
You wish you had a piece of mind,
To make those evil thoughts decrease.

When you come to the realization,
That these dark images make it hard to see,
Do not be alarmed for the slightest moment,
It only means that you are just like me.

To live my life without you,
Would result in the loss of mine.
For I'd rather blow my mind into oblivion,
Then to not be able to see your smile shine.

Ive always taken you for granted,
And I can not apologize enough.
You've taught me to keep myself together,
To look forward and remain tough.

You have always been my hero,
I don't believe I ever told you that.
You've saved me from all the bad in the world,
There's no way i can thank you back.

I want to make it up to you,
The pain Ive caused through out the years.
I want to erase myself from your mind,
So you can look back without the tears.

But to do that would be selfish,
Because I'm the "Lords gift to you".
You beautiful fool, I am no gift,
Just a monster the devil helped construe.

I hate myself for hurting you,
The beautiful angel that you are.
You deserve some one better than I,
Some one who surpasses me by far.

I am so sorry, my loved one,
For the damage I have done.
I'm sorry you have the burden,
Of calling me your son.

I'm sorry my dear, Ive failed you,
Your unconditional love could not keep me calm.
I am ashamed of myself, and all my actions,
I do not deserve to call you mom.

If now is the end,
Then this I must say:
I wish you the best,
And I hope you're okay.

If now is the end,
Dont be surprised when I cry.
Because as soon as you leave,
Half of me is destined to die.

If now is the end,
I hope you depart from my mind.
Because there's no way I can continue,
Knowing I left you behind.

If now is the end,
I suppose it was fate.
But first I must thank you,
Because you made my life great.

I tricked myself into believing,
That this pain would soon be gone.
But my mind was so misleading.
I have never been so wrong.

This darkness that once consumed me,
Has made a home inside my head.
It comes and goes when it pleases,
And tears my mind to shreds.

It gnaws at my sanity.
Leaving no trace of it behind.
Only leaving images of profanity,
And turning my sight of good will blind.

I am ready for my doom.
To live my life with this "cancer".
It would be wise to ready my tomb,
Since I will never recieve my answer.

I want to be free from theses chains.
To live happily every day.
But still my pain remains.
And it is here to stay.

I want to live every day of my life with you
except for one day:
The day you leave this world and go to a better one.
I dread that day.
Which is why I selfishly want to leave before you,
So I can live all my life with you
And not a single day without you.