Alessol

Alessol Nov 2013

So much anger
So much resentment.
Go ahead if u wanna bang her,
You'll love her until she leaves you with unfilled contentment.
I wish I had an antidote,a cure.
Something to relieve me of this resentment.
I hate this feeling it kills me inside!
And it feels there's nothing I can do to erase it!
So I might as well face it.
Own up to the rage that resides
And ignore what causes it to rise.
Because I AM better than that ****.

Being drunk does not excuse you of your actions. Own up ***** cause that ***** not okay.

Alessol Nov 2013

These thoughts I can't contain

Its late when I finally return home
                         walk to my room into my cold empty bed.

It's not empty because I'm alone
I'm never alone inside my head.

                                                      My thoughts roam.

Why do some parts feel so dead?
The answer has yet to be shown.

    I can't deal with these thoughts inside my head
              my subconscious is tired, my patience is blown...

                                                      Then it all turns red

Thoughts free to wander the unknown.
Once again I've spoken thoughts I never should've said,
and that is why I'm in this bed, still physically alone.

I am the only one who can put myself in such pickles!!!

Alessol Nov 2013

Feel the Silence

Confusion.
Why do I do this every **** time?
Do I enjoy the pain of others or the guilt that comes after?
I will never know.
The answers lie out there.
Deep under the calm white blanket.
Remaining free and untouched.
I can feel the silence.
It soothes me and relieves me of this confusion.
Why make everything so **** complicated?
Everything should be as simple, as pure, as silent as the calm white snow.
But its not.
Do you see the silence behide her eyes?
Its because she's burning.
The silence hold the secrets of the mind.
My life is a fire that blazes through everything I touch.
It melts the beautiful snow around me and turns it to slush.
This fire will never extinguish.
It burns me inside so intensely.
But I love the flames they are loud.
So I guess that means,
Ill see you in the summer.

Alessol Nov 2013

The Fear

A rush of words and images flood my brain
So many thoughts in here
How much longer can I maintain?
This façade I put on of smiling good cheer
Can only fool those who can contain.
Those who walk among us deaf to their own ears
Desensitized from the rain.
Listening, waiting for those who see the fear.
Behind these eyes they see the pain
I scream for someone, anyone who can hear
But they don't listen to those who offer none to gain.
I feel the wind touch my skin and I know the end is near
Once I leave I return again
Only this time without fear.

Alessol Nov 2013

To love the lost

This night I lay awake staring at my ceiling
Hoping for the dark to wash away this feeling
Waiting for my dreams to show their hidden meanings.

Startled to realized my eyes have started bleeding
The blood so warm pumping threw my veins
It rolls down my cheeks and I finally feel pain.

I see my finger tips become stained red.

Why does this make me feel so free?
So alive?
Why do I feel such euphoric relief?

I see my finger tips stained red.

****** my past is escaping
Leaving me behind the feeling is breathtaking
I understand why I feel so lost.

What is lost?

What cannot be found can never be harmed.
Can never be repressed.
Never confined.
Never suppressed.
Never at the will of time.
And will always remain free.
That is truly where I wish to be.

I see my finger tips bleed with my eyes wide open.

— The End —