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1.0k · Apr 2017
KillYourself
Alcris Mendoza Apr 2017
If it hurts, **** the suffering
If it screech, **** the noise
If it hinders to grow,just simply let it die.

**** the darkness of your mysterious shadows and let the photons scatters,
**** the old messy you and let the new come to its life.
#LearnToGrow
#Sorry
505 · Feb 2018
WhatIf?
Alcris Mendoza Feb 2018
What if the moon disappears this night,
what if the star stops from shining?

What if I won't wake up anymore tomorrow,
what if my dreams turns into a nightmare,
what if I say to you that "I can't breathe",
What if this would be my last night?

Would there will be any changes?

When I talk to you, it means that I miss you,
But when I don't talk to you, it means that I'm waiting for you to miss me too.
#ChancesAreWasted
432 · Jun 2018
Behold.
Alcris Mendoza Jun 2018
Hit me with your hardest punch,
Cut me with the sharpest stone,
Drown me on the deepest waters,
But still you will be surprised that I have double dose in pain.

With my blood all over my body,
With the gunshots on my head,
I will rise and let you see my death,
I will rise and let you see that I can, and I will.
381 · Oct 2016
CloseYourEyes.
Alcris Mendoza Oct 2016
Close your eyes to see the true colors in the dark.
Close your eyes and hear the the tranquility of silence.
Close your eyes as you feel that warm hug from the fading memories of you and i.
*YesIWill,ForYou
*Iwillalwaysgobacktothosemomentswhenyousaythosewords
361 · Aug 2017
1:05AM
Alcris Mendoza Aug 2017
The book has its cover, has its title, has its author. The cover, the title nor the author should tell the whole story,

One must not turn the page quickly if he or she does not understand it fully. Let the momentum of the eyes touch every lines of your story and not you who touches the eyes of the readers,

The river streams will continue to flow even if your heart stops to pump its blood, the water continues as if it was just another day,

You wont understand the words that are hidden but you can understand the meaning why it is hidden, those are two different perspectives but both shares the same objectives which is to understand and to listen with silence.

Sleep for tonight, maybe and  an hour or couple of it, but the noise wont turn into dreams because realities are realities, dreams would stay as dreams, no one exceeded  in the power of truth
288 · Nov 2016
LetMeHearYourVoice
Alcris Mendoza Nov 2016
Like the rusting metal of an old saxophone, you and i were making a painful sound. I know that we arent meant for each other but still i want to listen to the crying harmony of us simply because i love the way you hurt me.
#loveispainfulbutworththepain
283 · May 2017
Glimpse
Alcris Mendoza May 2017
I am at my best whenever I am with you.
'Cause i simply know that at the end,
It was still you who completes me.
#LookBack
#NoOneElseButYou
275 · Oct 2016
dance in the dark
Alcris Mendoza Oct 2016
staring at that wolf under the light of the full moon,
risky would it be but i say sorry to myself saying,
I am loving this scary scenery of the forbidden forest,
oh why? did I get your attention?(isawyoufearfully)

there you are starting to move again in the moonlight,
getting closer like a hungry mysterious creature,
no you're about to **** me; please don't look back,
heart starts to pump quickly and i hardly "cant breath",

but suddenly i realized that tomorrow had come,
the sun is starting to place over the moon,
it was you who became mist of the past,
leaving me with the scar of melancholy.

until now, i am still waiting for that night again to happen in my story.
the end
275 · Oct 2018
DemonInside.
Alcris Mendoza Oct 2018
Those sharp knives made me bleed so much,
But don't you ever feel sorry for stabbing me that,
Because everything has its own revenge,
Your whole body was beeing mirrored.

I saw that, I saw what you did,
You're a brainless, stupid, narrow-minded idiot,
I'll be back soon, I'll be back to take off your life,
And when that day happens, I'll make sure you will never forget my name.....


You'll be surprised that the words that you used to **** me yesterday, will also be the lethal weapon that I'll be using for you tomorrow.

Say you last words, and I'll just see you in your greatest nightmare.
264 · May 2017
CassetteTape
Alcris Mendoza May 2017
You often say "any time"
12:00 in the midnight,
Wish you were holding me tight
You speak again, "any time"
10:00 in the morning,
Wish you wake me up humming,
You replied, "any time"
5:00 in the afternoon,
Wish you donth have to leave so soon.

Wish i haven't need to keep on playing the cassette of your voice recording, as you had said "any time" only just for once in our story.
#KeepListening
#LonelyPlaylist
262 · Apr 2017
GoodnightSleep.
Alcris Mendoza Apr 2017
Atleast i still do have the memories inside me,
Those simple glimpse of your smile that worths more than its beauty,
Those tender eyes that seems to be talking at each of the other souls,
And those voices that makes me feel an embracing arms of yours.

I will be yours forever, ill promise you from now on,
We may not be together in the world of truth,
But this ill tell you, you will forever be at my heart
And you are the only one that i desire.
Always.
#IllSeeYouAgain
257 · Dec 2016
ClosingTime
Alcris Mendoza Dec 2016
I will sleep tonight but my heart wont because of you.
#MissingYou #Time #When?
252 · Oct 2016
its a lie.
Alcris Mendoza Oct 2016
The music starts to fade,
It has been an hour of listening,
Tired of those old musics of my past,
Wondering if when will I be free from melancholy.

Until I heard that single strum coming with a mysterious smile,
Bringing me back with a new set of harmony,
Never will my ears be tired to listen,
Never will my heart be tired to pumps up for you.
Not everything that you can see depicts their real picture.
249 · Nov 2016
ILoveYou.YouLoveAnother
Alcris Mendoza Nov 2016
I had loved you so much that i havent noticed that you are doing the same with another one
#martyrlove
245 · Jan 2017
IStillKnowItsYou.
Alcris Mendoza Jan 2017
Is this for forever? Me looking at you while you were walking away. Cant i really reach even a single glimpse of your smile. Regrets will be forever, loneliness of my eyes exist since I had said that you were once mine.
#IKnowEveryAngleOfYou
245 · May 2017
JokeTimeForTheMartyrs
241 · Oct 2016
I Died.
Alcris Mendoza Oct 2016
It was third day of November 2015. I can still remember all the vast happenings, all the memories that he had just left so quickly. It was him whom became mist of the past. He’s a man full of smile, full of hope and love. The heart was filled with sharp pointed needles, and the eyes with millions of broken glasses. He can see the angels. He can see that creepy little girl crying beside you, shredding out her blood from her eyes. It is because he is dead, I am dead.

Until now, I can still here my voice, my last words saying: I died for you simply because I loved you. I already miss those smiles, those eyes that keep on contacting, (smirk) and those rising of your eyebrows. Miss those times when you and I were about couple of floors away, but still reaching each of our magnetic forces as my eyes strikes on you and yours as well. Miss those times when I look at you at the window and you had raised your lips to smile in reply to me, not only for ones. Miss those times that you say my name, different on how you call others. Miss those times when you were still here.

I had patiently done my waiting, 20, 30 minutes, 1, 2, 3 or 5 hours, though I know that you don’t expect me to be waiting for you. So at the end of this melancholic story, you aren’t there for me. Our fate makes us together, but sadly there is this fact that you are my north and I am your south. We are meant to grow apart from each other. I am meant to die while you are meant to live but love will not change.

It is very hard to make a eulogy for yourself, a eulogy for my dead emotions. As I finally realized that the man, whom is speaking, is the one who died, it was I whom I called to became mist of the past. Goodbye to you my friend, farewell, until we meet again, my emotions, 1999-2015.
isittimetogiveup?
238 · Nov 2016
ICan'tBreathe
Alcris Mendoza Nov 2016
I am blinding myself with thousands of thorns simply because i am willing to apply it for you
#iloveyouthoughithurts
235 · May 2017
IDontWantToGo
Alcris Mendoza May 2017
3 consecutive nights that the lonely owl haven't seen even just a glimpse of the moonlight,
3 consecutive sleepless nights for a poor nocturnal bird on its own lonely tree.

And i'll be counting from numbers 1...


2...


3...



and still, the bird is alone, not even its own shadow appears because there is no light.
everything is darker without you my love. my only love.
#i wanna be where you go
235 · Dec 2016
HappyRegrets
Alcris Mendoza Dec 2016
Once again the guitar starts to strum its harmonious music,
Once again the song plays by the memories of the old strings,
Once again you and i made our own melody just like before.
#YouAreHere!
223 · Aug 2017
LetItFlow.ILetYouGo
Alcris Mendoza Aug 2017
not to talk isn't a sign of anger,
not to look isn't a sign of irritation,
going away isn't a sign of not going back at all,
it was all just the ways of preventing you to bleed because of me.
#ICan't
223 · Apr 2017
Eyes
Alcris Mendoza Apr 2017
I look at you, you seek for another.
221 · Dec 2016
= (
Alcris Mendoza Dec 2016
= (
I love you though i died thousand years ago.




ginidnap<-
#MissingYou #Time
220 · Nov 2016
Untitled
Alcris Mendoza Nov 2016
Death is like sunset, scary though an epitome of beauty
214 · May 2017
Unknown
Alcris Mendoza May 2017
You and me.
Me to you. ) :
#WillNever
207 · Dec 2018
EvenSoldiersCry
Alcris Mendoza Dec 2018
Tonight I can feel the freshly cut trunk of the narra tree,
And it is oozing with a wonderful bright red substance,
That made me want to lick the sinful soul of immorality,
There's no escape but to shake my knees and shout without voice.

The fire that burns my skin is my only friend and listener,
And for that reason, seems like the soldier was about to do it,
To raise the white flag, to kneel down,
As the dark soul unleashed saying that I am still Alive!
201 · Nov 2016
WishWeCouldBe.
Alcris Mendoza Nov 2016
I really wanted to run at you, really wanted to hug you, really wanted to tell you everything but i can't. Simply because we cannot.
190 · Apr 2018
Happy?
Alcris Mendoza Apr 2018
But not all tears demands to be wiped off physically, most of it demands to be felt.
#missing
190 · Dec 2018
IAmThirsty
Alcris Mendoza Dec 2018
I’ve been walking for a long time,
But I am not alone for I am with with pain,
I’ve been hiding for a long time,
But again, I am not alone for i am with tears,
I’ve been pretending for a long time,
But as I said, I am not alone for I am with  darkness.

And for those long times, I’ve been smelling the sweet nectar that oozes within my flesh, cut by the blades of my past.
Let me, oh please let me drink again that scarlet liquid elixir for my anxiety.
I just want to feel alive again, poor little boy.....

— The End —