I watched you suffer
At the pleausre of those evil girls and boys
Who never let you join in
And broke all your toys

I felt your pain
When those awful adolescents
Tried to beat you down
And laughed at your name

I watched you fight your demons
Fight the voices in your head
Be taken advantage of
By "friends" who know you're easily led

I've watched you torture yourself
For things that aren't your fault
Poison your body
With more than just salt

Now I watch you lying there
In that hospital bed
You've been a stupid man
Again, so easily led

I wish you could just see
How great a person you are
To them you might be a "******"
But to me you are a star

Stop hiding in the haze
Of drugs and alcohol
Because it's not just you, you hurt
When you stumble and fall

What a mess you've made
And it's me who's suffering now
I feel selfish for saying it
I feel like a cow

However daft you've been
And however bad you make me feel
I will love you forever
And that's what's real

That's what matters
That's what's true
I just hope you're around
To see me loving you

dfqwerfasdf  31r21r3r

John Keats
John Keats
John
Please put your scarf on.

You smell like the first raindrops that hit the ground since summer,
like the pages in a new book,
like the first bloom on my lilacs.
You remind me of home.
You taste like homemade apple cider in 1st grade,
like the salty ocean air i've missed,
like warm cocoa in the pouring rain.
You remind me of comfort.
You sound like hummingbird wings,
like the wind rustling through the trees,
like rain on the windshield of our red car.
You remind me of me.

The room shrinks.
She missed again, the vein dodging the needle.
The body reacts

                                                       confused

And ineffective. Cold yet sweaty, those ears sink under water.
My bags unpacked, my threads untied, yet

                                                                                           I am gone.

Nothing remains, and the nothing is tranquil.

A second? An hour?
The cacophony begins, muted
The ears throb and resurface.
Voices touch, hands speak. I taste their worry.
And finally

                                                                                            I am back.

I wash in the relief of my return. I’m not ready.

Should I tell him?
Ending everything that I have worked for?
It is worth it to keep the lies alive…
To hold back tears time and time again
Denying what I know is true
Because underneath it all
I just want to be happy
And I am not
happy