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Dear Sir or Madam,
Why should you let me come to your college? It’s not because I have money, I don’t I don’t I don’t and I doubt I ever will, but I’ll work hard.
I’ll drink beer and never liquor
And I’ll study, or I’ll try to study
And dear sir or madam
Please let me come to your college
I don’t have any money, but I’ve got promise
Or at least that’s what they told me before they started sticking their hands out and asking for compensation for my education
Please let me come to your college because even though I’ll never be able to pay back the debt of raising me to my parents I’ll come closer with a college degree
Let me come to your college
Even for one day
So maybe I can see the world beyond money or privilege
And maybe if I get a degree
Maybe if I get a degree
I’ll make enough money to pay off my student debts before I’m in my fifties
And I may be the product of a broken education system
But I’m not broken
And if you let me come to your college
I’ll study all night
And go to classes all day until I fracture my psyche
Please, sir or madam,
Let me come to your college
I’ll do anything for a degree
You are more than numbers
You are so much more than numbers
Numbers are insignificant
And only pertain to algorithms that predict unfortunate things
Like death
And I’m sorry I forgot your birthday
But it’s just numbers and numbers aren't important to me
I remembered your favorite color
Blue
Because it is the color that describes that clichéd, shallow melancholy
Authors often glorify to make petty things seem magical
But blue is something you should never feel because you go so much deeper than that pettty feeling
And I know your favorite flower is the sweet pea
Because I remember that it symbolizes the shyness I’ve never felt around you
And the shyness I’ve never seen you exhibit
And I’m sorry I’m so quiet
It’s only because I want to tell you how beautiful you are
But I know I’ll never be able to find just the right words to tell you
That you’re imperfections perfected
And I love all the things you say you hate about yourself
And I love the way words sound on your lips
And how you throw your head forward when you laugh
And you’re all the poems I've ever written
Even the sad ones
Because you’re all the feelings I've ever felt
And I love the way your hand feels in mine
And I’m sorry I forgot your birthday
But I promise I always will
Because I have more important things to remember about you
Than numbers
 Aug 2013 Alastur Berit
Mia Marie
A small acorn falls to the ground
In a quiet forest.
An oak is born,
he slowly rises and develops,
and is captured in awe at the world around him.
He learns to grow and bask in the sun,
which shines through his taller brothers’ leaves.
He begins to bear food for his friends
who live in his young branches,
and the deer and spiders smile up at him
as they rest in his shade.

Yet a low rumble begins to grow in the distance,
and his friends are frightened away.
The deer and spiders don’t rest in his shade
and his friends don’t take his food anymore.

The noise grows louder and closer
and he looks to his older brothers for questions.
But before they can answer,
one by one he hears their branches snap.
Their roots lose their grip in the cold soil,
which they always called home.
The sun becomes easier to feel for the young oak,
and a sharp pain is felt at his feet
as his brothers crash around him,
screaming and tearing their way to the ground.
He feels his own roots snap
and his branches crack on the cold hard ground.
The warmth of the sun begins to fade
while the sharp pain is felt splitting him apart,
and another small acorn falls to the ground
in a quiet forest.
 Aug 2013 Alastur Berit
fugyadzi
and maybe i really am

but i'd like to believe it isn't true
but everything's been a race
and my eyes blur
and i'm waiting for the crack of dawn
for the justification
and not the crack of a soul dead tired
i don't want to be tired

in my waking moments i move
someday i'll take a break
I will make it to the end of this evening
Without messaging you
But I will check my phone constantly
Endlessly, hopelessly, pointlessly
Wanting to see
A tiny
Round
Mini
You
I hate the me that this poem reveals
Suddenly, this year, I want to **** everyone
Or, more specifically, our friends;
My best friend, his best friend
Old friends
New friends
Friends I haven't seen for years.
I think I must be lacking something
But also, it is just about the ***.
Because I'm thirty seven
What if all my best encounters are behind me?
What if the best lay of my life
Is sitting next to me at a cafe
Or trotting along beside me on a power walk?
I don't want to get it on with strangers, enemies, colleagues,
Or the good looking guy who makes my coffee at Starbucks
Just friends
Am I missing something
Obvious to everybody else?
Second poem I've written this evening that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin
He keeps the contents of his life in boxes. The clear Rubbermaid totes with the locking lids that keep the contents from spilling out across the floor when they are least needed. The same containers that keep everything within protected against assailing liquid falling from above. Most of his possessions have long since been discarded, but there is an odd assortment of memories that are kept safe.

A model rocket that his grandfather, long since passed, used to take him to open fields to launch towards the heavens. It never quite reached, but in his mind he was chasing down the parachute of a spaceship returning from a long voyage.

Birthday cards received when it was still exciting to count the years. When the cards still had happy monsters devouring birthday cake and the short handwritten messages read "We are so proud of the person you are becoming".

First place medals from sports competitions, spelling bees, and field days. A single second place medal from a martial arts tournament where brute force could not overcome the wisdom of an elder opponent.

The metal plates off of every baseball trophy earned since playing teeball at age four. When the shelves could no longer support the weight of the trophies they were discarded, and the cheaply made nameplates are the only reminder left that they ever existed.

Too many years of school yearbooks with sloppy signatures following words of wisdom reminding him to stay cool, and that he would see you all again after the summer.

A red, sweat-stained Schlitz hat that was stolen from the older, much more cool, cousin. He stopped asking for its return years ago, and has probably forgotten that it even existed.

Certificates that prove he was once a member of Builder club, Beta club, Phi Theta Kappa, National Honor Society, Student Government, and Junior Ambassadors to the Chamber of Commerce. Reminders of times when joining clubs meant you got to miss class to hang out with your friends.

A single blue ribbon knotted three times as a reminder that it should never be untied. Beyond those simple knots are all of the love letters that were written between him and the first girl that was able to open his eyes so that he could see what love, and loss, truly meant.

An old, barely functioning, paintball gun that he bought with the money from his first real job. The same gun that, through some miracle, gave him and his father their first common interest. He picks it up from time to time and pretends that they are still hiding behind bunkers ready to charge the opposing team.

A tiny red Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robot ring used as an excuse to wrestle around in bed with one of his closest friends on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The blue ring moved far away and has long since stopped answering her phone, knowing that the rematch of the century will never occur.

Diplomas from high school and college that will probably never hang framed on a wall. He was never truly proud of accomplishments so easily attained.

Hiding in the shadows of these boxes is each first kiss that is a stone sitting beneath the shattered mirror friendships that could not hold their weight. He is reminded to find either lighter stones or more sturdy mirrors in the future.

Friends that he has met in countless towns huddle together, trying to stay warm amidst the bitter cold they perceive around them. He calls or texts from time to time, but the embers cannot replace the pyre he used to provide.

Lovers that never expected the love they received in return bask in the solace of the fact that they are rarely seen or disturbed. He smiles when he comes across them, but knows better than to retrieve them from the storage where they are kept.

He still keeps all of the contents of his life in boxes. The same clear Rubbermaid totes with the locking lids, whose transparency allows him to view the contents from afar without disturbing them. He says he uses them so all of the contents don't spill out when he doesn't want them to, but his blurred vision reminds him that he chose the waterproof variety for a reason.

It would only take an hour or two to unpack everything at each new location he moved to, but he knows that the next time he unpacks he will not be doing it alone. It becomes more difficult for him each time he has to condense everyone and everything of import into totes light enough to carry to the next location.
Placed in plain sight as a place for curious eyes to rest
Lying upon the mantle was a single picture
Each day, the dust surrounding it seemed to swell,
And further shrouded the frame's crack
Shards of glass still fell from time to time
Each landing in its own bed of dust

To himself, he muttered that he should dust
Each time the phantom passed it to rest
And as always, he did not have the time
Claiming that in his mind there was a perfect picture
Heavy footsteps gave him away as the floor started to crack
Memories overcame and caused his heart to swell

Even then he wondered why he painted her so swell
How could he adore the one that blew his dreams to dust
Over the phone, he tried to answer, but his voice did often crack
When he tried to reproduce what he had with the rest
Too many times he had tried to create the same picture
Of what he once had, but in a different time

Finally he decided that he could waste no more time
Each day for a week he paddled over swell after swell
Each day for a week he could not jettison this faded picture
Lines blurred as tears mixed with paint and dust
Each obscuring line brought his soul more rest
Violently he hurled the picture, hoping he didn't crack

Each lonely moment inspired him to give it one more crack
Realizing that in this world, he only had so much time
Young love sank with the picture, and on the ocean floor it would rest
To move forward, all of his courage he had to swell
He put behind him the times of darkness, phantoms, and dust
In the days that passed he learned how to paint his own picture

Now more faces pass the mantle than he could ever picture
“Good thing you removed that horrid painting” they crack
“You finally took the time to clean up and dust”
“One day you will admit that we were right this time”
“Until I saw her today I thought my heart would never again swell”
“Friend is the best word for someone that makes you forget the rest”

Each day he tells himself he needs a little more time
Every smiling glance she gives makes him feel so swell
Letter one of each line will tell you the rest.
A modified sestina, with the first letter of each line forming a sentence.
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