The cool blue ripples reflect a solemn memory of a friendly smile once almost near
Of long dark hair freefalling from a faded star; a young mind once so clear
You put it in your vein that night you went to sleep under the cool blue rain
Why was it so soon? I stop to wonder inside the golden garden
What did you mask? I sit and ponder as the graceful leaves saunter to the ground
From green to gold they turn, then back into the soil for the silent rain to churn
They saunter to you as I sit and stare at the grey water that remains though you have left.

The roses in the garden are beautiful but somewhat mean
They think of themselves as the kings and queens
With a superior air about them they put others down
As they flaunt about the garden in their thorny crowns

So all the flowers got together
To form a picket line
Feeling they were being unfairly treated
Or so felt the dandelions

The hydrangeas overflowing
In decadent display
Are not timid, they prefer
To make heads turn their way

The single, reserved tulips
Are certainly a bit more shy
While still drawing attention
By the way they kiss the sky

Every flower in the garden
Think their own beauty could run the show
That's what each of them wrote on their sign
To let the roses know

This trouble with mothers nature
Will be written about in books
The uprising in the garden
The day the earth was shook

Back before those thorny reds
It seemed everything was bliss
So the weeds were hired for a hit
By the sneaky, scheming iris

The weeds though were sprayed the day before
So they never stood a chance
They were knocked out of the running
When they themselves danced with death

The white picket fence was knocked down
Which set the snapdragons free
Creating quite the havoc
In this wild garden mêlée

This day will always be remembered
Made sure by the forget-me-nots
When all the flowers got together
To show the roses what they've got

And that night I was a mechanical doll
and I turned right and left, to all sides
and I fell on my face and broke to bits,
and they tried to put me together with skillful hands
And then I went back to being a correct doll
and all my manners were studied and compliant.
But by then I was a different kind of doll
like a wounded twig hanging by a tendril.
And then I went to dance at a ball,
but they left me in the company of cats and dogs
even though all my steps were measured and patterned.
And I had golden hair and I had blue eyes
and I had a dress the color of the flowers in the garden
and I had a straw hat decorated with a cherry.



Translated from the original Hebrew by Karen Alkalay-Gut.

1) you know you left your favorite pair of underwear at my house, do you want to come and get them?
2) i miss you more than I miss my home
3) you're like a part of me that left and I really want that part of me back
4) you use to call me beautiful, I looked at myself in the mirror, said those words, cried softly because it wasn't your voice
5) i miss your voice running through my skin
6) remember all those times you would call me and tell me you miss me? How come you don't do that anymore?
7) i hugged this tall boy and it reminded me of how you would slouch to hug me, I smiled so widely I was as happy as I was when I was with you
8) the boy next to me smells like you
9) my brother came home and your name slipped out of his mouth or it sure seemed like
10) i miss you.
11) i saw you staring at me and when I went to smile you turned away
12) it got me sad like how when you told me you didn't like me
13) remember that time you kissed me? And you said you hope it doesn't change anything? You lied
14) it's been almost 4 months and my lips still ache your touch
15) i wish you were here
16) we were never in love but oh boy, how we could have been

j.f

i guess i miss playing with your fingers,
feeling your warm whisper on my neck

but never have i missed
the feelings of your slap on my back.
or the bruises on my arms, for that matter
and while we’re at it, i don’t miss being begged for ***
or photos that would have dissolved my purity
like when the sun slowly merges with the earth, and all that’s left is darkness.

although i miss

-

I was the girl of your dreams, and you finally woke up
When you did, the thought of hurting me didn't even faze you
Your hand against my skin now leaving marks, not a ghost I would soon lay in bed and think about and smile.

-

I hope the shame of what you did to me burns your oesophagus when your next girlfriend asks what happened with me, and I hope you tell the truth. I hope you tell her that you let me go, that you touched me in a way no man should touch his

-

You carved your name into my skull with a nail and a hammer. I know this because whenever I think of you, my head hurts. Whenever I think of you, my throat closes up and my eyes start to burn. Then my vision gets blurry and all I can ask myself is why you did it.

-

I really hope she can tell that when you lie you scratch the left side of your head and put your left hand on your right shoulder. I hope she can tell that the sides of your mouth twitch when you know with all of your heart you aren't telling the truth.

My senses remember it
better than my
memory

and maybe it's the memory
of you that's lead me back
to this place. Where my skin
shakes like small coils of wire
shot with electricity

but it's a nervous,
nerve reflex and not proof
that I'm alive

my limbs hanging like
the branches of a
tree

a cool breeze
shuddering the
roots

I always felt new with
winter. Ice beneath
my feet. Itchy woollen
jumpers and the smell
of cinnamon

but you stole my seasons
the way you stole my
heart and now a cold
breeze sends me into
darkness

***** footprints on
dead ground. Black
coats and boots

and the smell of your
body, missing, and
the sound of my neck,
caressed by a white scarf,

breaking