The first time I saw you naked
I cried, and then tears dripped from your eyes
I don’t know how you can be
My angel,
And all my demons at the same time
But you are

I want so desperately
To be you, that I’ll
Crunch numbers together, make my mouth open
Never
Just to fit your mold

Last night when we spoke over waffles
That you drenched in syrup,
And grapefruit I never touched
You stuffed me with the words
I was trying to say

You left the table,
My plate still full of "harsh opinions"

I’m not mad;
I’m tired,
Tired of picking out the shards of glass
From beneath my fingernails

You can’t be the ****** weapon
And the search party,
You can’t be my white horse
And the dark knight

But you are.

Do you remember insomnia?
Running through clocks
And wandering through typewriters

I wish we were falling
Underwater
In the deep blue
Where I always find you

Can we move back to the city?
I miss the buzzing noise
That always echoed behind the window pane

Don't worry.
I won't forget how you
Painted the stars
And we danced under their fluorescence  
Barefoot in the grass

I saw you dressed in green
Your heart beating out
Side of your chest,
I used my humble hands
To gently place it back inside

We'll drown in the deep end
But I love the thrill of the dive.

And you stay
Even though, my fingers tremble sometimes.
You’re bumping out of my ears

I look down
when I’m telling the truth
But you help me up,
My favorite shotgun

We find maps inside each other
Travel the trail, down my spine
Tattoo your fingers inside of my thigh
You’re running through my veins

When I’m with you,
I feel like the Sun’s in my belly
And even though, sometimes, I use my fingers
To make myself empty, you stick around

We play in the grass
Stumbling through the doorway
Messy and full of laughter
With you everything feels brighter
You’re my sunflower

My favorite crash landing
I fall into you
You reach for me
The collision is beautiful

And you stay.

It's hard to write a poem
When there's nothing going on
It's hard to think of what to say
When you've given most of it away

As poets we never scratch the surface
We delve within, disclose our deepest sin
We crave our pain, declare it's for our art
Yet more often than not have no idea where to start

But start we do and start we must
A deep desire in all of us
To spill out on the written page
What little bit we have tried to save

Ink now is the poets blood
Fragments of self pour from within
Silence is our safety net
To stop us from bleeding out

Although it's hard to write a poem
With nothing going on
We still find words to form a verse
From deep within our marrow bone

Work © Mike Hauser & © Sia Jane

Maybe I could write those things here.
Those things that I wish I could say but I don't know how.
Maybe we can both write to people who don't exist
And pretend somehow we receive it.
Maybe those words are safer in a place unknown.

she found me daintily
waiting in the evergreens and matchsticks
breathing stories of ghosts and mint leaves

oh and the lotus she pined
mixing its petals in mason jars
glowing for us to drink up

with sticky fingers
and red lips we danced
waking the spirit within her

she had wings and I whispered
“Angel, angel, angel.”
I wanted to pull all her strings
back together

and she took me to the edge
of the river she came from
her mouth spoke
of euphoria

we submerged ourselves in.