Offended
To the highest
Of my lumpy loping
Anatomy
See,
I came from you
Why are you disgusted by me?

Offended by my body

And my stretch marks
And my thighs
My waist is too thick
And my ******* are
Popping out of my
DDD bra
And you're in disbelief
And I suppose I'm in awe

Of how you treat me
And my body

Like it's not really me
Like this vessel is a
Machine to be worked
Harvested and cleaned

But hey,
It also contains a soul
And a mind
And a voice.
It contains a lot of things you'll never know.
And I'm fine with that.
But please, don't act offended by my body.

The angels watching over me
to hold me as I sleep
the father with the Earth in hands
My soul is his to keep
My mother's mother's fairy tales
her daughters blinding trust
When tragedy and misery
convince her that she must

In wooden pews and basement rooms
with bible tightly clutched
I listened to the fairy tales, the fables forming rust
On alter I held out my hands
to catch the chunk of bread
That pastor always said to me
where flesh of the son long dead

Fifteen years of song and dance
Fifteen years of grace
Fifteen years spent listening
their stories gone to waste

But the world grows larger
the questions too
and the faith is quickly lost
replaced by science, philosophy
common sense dethrones the cross

I want so desperately to believe
for your sake more than mine
Eternal life is a dream to me
but I hate to see you cry

My mother's mother passed her faith
by my mother I have failed
She prays for me each day and night
but her worries I can't assail

Oh mother, mother can't you see
this faith is yours not mine
The word of God is not enough
but maybe, give me time.

Angels I have heard on high
in God I place my trust
It's the son, the cross, that I decline
He's your savior, not mine.

As angels lay me down to sleep
I hope one day you'll see
My mother's mother's parables
lend no comfort to me

Oh mother, mother can't you see
it kills me when you pray
for something I cannot give you
and by each passing day
your expectations grind at me
they make it hard to stay
Oh mother, mother I'm begging you
don't push me away

The father watching over us
holds me as I sleep
and comforts me each night as my anxiety will creep
into me heart, I trust in him
but thats all I can give
let it be enough for you
I'm trying, let me live.

Cast in gloom by unstirred night,
Set in shade by hellish light,
The hours expend their restless plight
Upon my weary, arctic eyes.

And no soothing turns of fitful head
Can transgress to sleep within this bed,
For to shelter thin my heart's been led
By an angel with fluorescent eyes.

It is sleep for which my body pleads
But from taunting dreams I do recede
For fear and dread within them breed
Fear of vacant, careless eyes.

What once was filled with pleasantries
Cascades forthwith to miseries
And in each eye where once was love
Reside two empty sarcophagi

Phantoms parade their blustry gowns
And taunt me with their golden crowns
Memories mix with unlived lies
Behind their lucid, ghostly eyes

And when I find the rest I need
It greets me like an evil ****
It passes by and leaves its seed
Of tortured, lurid, silent eyes.