I tried to tickle my vegan fancy
With bushels of quinoa and kale,
I was told no meat or dairy
Was the healthy Holy Grail.

But I was sad and hungry
With every burger I declined,
See me toss away my salad bowl,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.

I filled my fridge with veggies,
Bean sprouts and legumes,
But I dreamt of pancetta
And links of sausage to consume.

Breakfast was plain yogurt
Lunch was collard greens,
Snacks were roasted edamame,
****, they’re just soy beans.

I was getting much too skinny,
My ribs were protruding,
I became short-tempered,
And was dark and brooding.

I covered all the mirrors,
I looked so pale and pasty,
All day I would salivate,
Craving something hot and tasty.

My vegan days are over
Enjoying pork chops, ham and bacon
I thought veggies were the answer,
But it seems I was mistaken.

Feel free to live off plants,
If you are so inclined,
But I’m firing up the grill,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.

Walking along the shore in the fog
My steps follow each other
Not thinking of the morning
Or the evening before
How does one recover?
Let the love come in
Open a heart to the wind
And the rays of the sun.
The small waves lap my feet
As one melts another grows
The endless push of the sea.
Another child.
Where does the love come from?
Can I create it from dust?
I am spent and dry
A barren well.
And the waves cover my feet
I sink slightly in the sand
The water is warm
I walk toward a point
In the distance.
Steps. Steps.
It gets no closer.
The waves continue
My feet ever wet.
Nature never falters
A well never barren
A sea never dry.

Childhood dreams
Were shattered long ago.
New dreams were distilled
From tears and fears.
Bitter dreams withered
By reality.
But dreams nonetheless.
They fall away like
November leaves.
Drawing strength
From love. From work.
From life’s purpose.
She perseveres.
A struggle on a slender
Precipice
Never looking down.
Acceptance is a clever
Way to deal with pain.
Clutch it to your breast,
Make it yours.
Devour it. Spit it out.
She has had her fill
Of acceptance.
Tomorrow perhaps
Devoid of dreams
Will sustain her
And take her to
A place of peace.
Where she is loved
And loves herself.

I search and search
and search in vain
Maybe it will help
To accept this pain

A crushing surprise
Slammed shut a door
I try to know myself
And nothing more

The loss of love
A stifling chill
I shut my eyes
Swallow this bitter pill

I just tried to trust
Those who couldn’t love
I have to overcome
And rise above

Another lesson in life’s
Twisting changing path
It makes me stronger
When I lose the wrath.

She floated from a world before time
A Priestess with powers unseen
Subtle and nurturing.
The piece to a puzzle long forgotten
Or recently scattered in a dream
But now completed or maybe
Taking shape.
Meanings defy definition
But are precise nonetheless.
A calm innocence before the storm
That rushed in on cue.
Washing away the particulars
But polishing the essence
Of the arrangement.
Bonds so quickly formed
Unexpected energy merged
Across a table, but was it
Unexpected?
She is a diviner of things to come
A sensitive soul steering her boat
To distant shores, guided by
Ethereal forces.
A young body, an old soul
Piercing eyes that beckon
And heal.
She floated in on a hope,
And drifted out with the storm.

She haunts my days
My thoughts float on her spirit
Living in the mirror.
The looking glass becomes her;
My dissipated identity cowers
In a morphed reflection she now owns.
I wasn’t prepared for this possession.
Slipping through the unseen gap,
Sliding in with the night breeze
My unknown twin has arrived
Setting up house in my soul.
Futile struggles to escape
Leave me walking backward
Sighing to accept my fate.
I want to embrace my twin
But I fear a deception
My eyes cant perceive.
Or is it my own likeness
I refuse to trust?
She has rocked my foundation,
Opened my vault to light
Blinding light overwhelming
All senses.
Repelled by my failures
Attracted by my nascent dreams
This haunting has enveloped me
Losing my will to resist
I am drawn to her reflection
My reflection.
Our reflection.

They sneak up on you
The same time every year.
But each year they are different;
Different people, different places,
More people, fewer people.
Old friends, new friends,
Lovers, family, random celebrants.
Each birthday is a time capsule
A specific moment sliced from the year,
Seemingly mundane, but oh so telling.
As we age, we pretend to ignore them,
Not wanting to count the years or
Admit to their significance.
But if others forget them,
We are hurt deeply.
As the day approaches
We are forced to assess our life,
The past months, the past years
The days ahead, the shortage of days to come.
A happy day is always the wish from others,
As if saying it will make it happen.
If only life worked that way.
But it is our day, our one special day
No matter our sins or transgressions,
We can bask in the glory just this once,
This day is our reward, for nothing in particular.
Just for being, just for living,
Just for having survived.
But maybe that is worthy of acclaim.
Every day, every week, every month
And surely every year
Is a struggle.
Let’s celebrate perseverance.
Let’s celebrate fortitude.
Let’s celebrate strength of character,
To whatever degree it exists.
Let’s celebrate hurdles,
Overcome or faced with courage.
Let’s celebrate disappointment
Profound disappointment that failed
To defeat us.
Let’s celebrate not giving up
In the face of overwhelming fear.
Let’s celebrate the journey
In all it’s joy and dejection.
And most of all
Let’s celebrate the days to come
And that glimmer of hope
That keeps us plodding along,
Fighting, struggling, sacrificing,
And wincing in pain
Every day of the year
So we live to see another
Birthday.