Times when they look right pass me,
Times when I'm totally ignored.
I feel like I'm a ghost that they cannot see,
As oblivious as a rock.

A ghost that is born through suffering,
A ghost that people avoid.
A ghost is transparent to everything,
A ghost which is nothing but a void.

As I wander around places seeing those still walking,
I wonder how it is like to have a life.
I dreamt that such a privilege will be mesmerizing,
Hoping one day, I'll finally be "alive"

It's heart rending to see others living it,
Playing with each other and having fun.
Not joining them is like being trapped in a pit,
Always knowing that the chances to escape is none.

Now I've come to terms with my own body,
No one can see me, that's how I've been made.
However it doesn't mean that I'll be forever lonely,
Who says I'll never meet someone else equally as dead?

You were always by my side,
I've never had someone so bright
You were with me in every fight,
All the way from morning till night.

You stood by me when I'm down,
And constantly gave me a helping hand,
Whether my face had dirt or a frown,
You continued with me till the end.

I tried my best to help you in the same way,
To make all your troubles worthwhile,
Every problems you had that I sent away,
Always gave you a smile.

Now,
I don't know how,
We've been separated

I never thought,
And now am in distraught,
That I would be so devastated.

I know there's nothing I can do,
No way to change your mind,
I hope that your future will be as pleasant as time spent with you,
And that I myself won't leave you behind.

Everyone is different,
You'll never know who you'll meet.
Such gap might be significant,
That you might find them sweet.

Some seem to be better
Some seem less capable,
We all try to be superior,
And overtake each other.

I have a friend,
We are a total contrast,
I don't know why or when,
Our friendship started to last.

Maybe it's the outgoing personality,
That my friend exhibited,
Trying so hard to connect with me,
And then I relented.

Not being similar in most way
Can be a benefit.
Throughout Monday to Sunday,
Both of us learn about each other bit by bit.

In situations involving a large crowd,
Which is something that makes me worry,
My friend will be there accompanying me about,
Helping me overcome that difficulty.

Differences should not be a problem,
It makes us all special.
With it everyone can be awesome,
And let's embrace it without fear.

I was told that Friendship is Important,
I was told it would bring me content.

They said Friendship makes me happy,
They said it is a crucial key.

I learnt that Friendship requires care,
I learnt that it fights against despair.

I was told...
They said...
I learnt...

I never been so badly misled,
All this left me with dread,
I shouldn't have let all this get into my head,
Instead,...

I should let myself decide what Friendship is,
Feel that it should not be gain with ease.
See that it requires trust,
Know that without that it will rust.

Lastly, provide affection for those who I formed a Friendship with,
Without that, I'm sure it will remain a myth.

I tried my very best,
The path was dangerous.
It was a long quest,
And it's getting hopeless.

But there's always a flicker of light,
That brightens the path I took.
It sparks dimly through the night,
I trudged on as much as I could.

Little did I know it was a lie,
A false hope that polluted my soul.
The light only wanted me to die,
It lured me deeper into the abyss below.

I used to follow that golden spark blindly,
Trusting it with all my heart.
But after everything, I'm increasingly wary,
Reminded by my body that's riddled with cuts.

It taunts me constantly,
Creating a mirage of happiness.
It also show past memories to tempt me,
Trying to bring me back under its curse.

I have to stay strong,
I can't let it win.
No matter if the hope's forlorn,
Or if I'm down and pinned.

The battle might take forever,
I will most probably lose.
But to surrender I will say never,
Every strength I can muster, I will use.

Loneliness,
I feel that it's my life's greatest curse
No matter how hard I try,
I feel that it'll be with me till I die.

Transparent,
That's how I feel when I'm with my "friend".
I always attempt to make myself noticeable,
But I'll end up crying even harder.

All my actions have been in vain,
I find myself constantly in pain.
Now, it's constantly driving me insane,
Bringing me through an agonising lane.

I shouldn't accept such a lifestyle,
I shouldn't need friends to make me smile.
But who am I kidding? They're important.
With them comes along a feeling of acceptance.

This gives me the drive to keep trying my best,
After all, loneliness is no nest.
Escaping this abyss is the ultimate quest,
It'll be an assurance that I'm not a pest.

That being said, the journey is tedious,
Throughout it all I heard so far were jeers.
I kept stopping and thinking about it,
Should I waste more effort or take the easy way out and quit?

Now I'm truly lost,
Deciding if having friends is worth the dear cost.
I could stay lonely and live in peace,
Or go out there and challenge my inner beast.

Loneliness,
The torture is getting worse and worse.
But I've learnt to embrace it with the right attitude,
I've found a new word for it, "My Solitude".

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm not sure what you think,
But I really like you.

Seeing you,
Brings me into a better mood,
Leaving you,
Causes me to brood.

If you are sad,
I'll be by your side,
To get rid of anything bad,
And be your guide.

Anyone who injures you,
Will be far from fine,
After whatever ensues,
Revenge will be mine.

What I do,
Might be unbearable,
But it is used to,
Make you feel special.

My actions might seem excessive,
Or even far-fetched,
But it's because I'm obsessive,
And overly-attached.

Sometimes I stop to ponder,
How others perceive me.
I look into the mirror and wonder,
If anyone truly likes me.

When I fool around,
I feel that some find me engaging.
Though there's always this nagging sound,
That some think I'm disgusting.

These thoughts follow me everyday,
From morning till it's time for bed.
While trying to sleep I'll first pray,
That all this is just in my head.

During that time I try believing,
That none of this is actually true.
I wish it's just that I'm over-thinking,
And that it's only a distorted view.

I share this with those I deem close,
And confide with them all my worries.
After hearing the opinions they propose,
Gives me the impression that I'm making up stories.

They taught me not to worry about what others say,
And to just be myself.
They said that I should just enjoy the day,
And not let people's remarks worry oneself.

All this have led me to finally decide,
Whether reflections are really useful,
However looking into my mirror, I finally replied,
"I need it to understand myself, it's meaningful."

I would like to cry,
About every disasters that I've been through.
Now I will not deny,
That I've always have been a fool.

I give myself false hope,
Telling my soul that it is possible.
But now I can't even cope,
With the truth that is so horrible.

I learnt to face the ugly truth,
Not many will offer back what you sacrifice.
I blew through my entire youth,
Which is the loss of the greatest price.

Discovering this is hard to bear,
Tears fall as I think about it.
People always told me "Life ain't fair",
Now I wish I believed that crucial bit.

Only some will willingly give back,
Understand your effort and try to too.
Those are the ones who fixes you from your wreck,
Help to clean up all your blues.

However do not express only to these people,
That is not the correct method or way.
Lastly give more to those feeling feeble,
It will be their tears that you'll help wipe away.

Nowadays I'm normally lost,
Forgotten that all my actions have a cost.
In the heat of the moment I've enjoyed it so much,
But after choosing to reflect it didn't seem as such.

Anything can happen, problems might occur.
The happiness might be forgotten, or we could lose something dear.
I can't let the depression win me, it must be defeated.
However the maze's not all green, it's too complicated.

It pains me to see others heading down the same path,
Torturing themselves as they continue to do so.
I will try my best to give them a reason to cheer and laugh,
Prevent their suffering from endlessly forcing them to stay low.

I want to be able to lead them out of this hellhole,
Through all these storms and dangerous thoughts.
But if I'm trapped wondering "Where to go?"
How will I lead them out of their sticky spot?

However, I believe that even if the experience is harrowing,
Or that I'm the worst and life is falling completely apart,
Being at the bottom has given me an easy direction that I'll be following,
And that the only way from where I can go is up.