30 days
Of memorizing your name
And the way you speak mine
So subtly
At the start
Or end
Of everything
To make sure I hear you
And know that it's me you're set on
30 days
Of memorizing the way
You step
And sway
As we walk for hours
And talk for hours
About everything and nothing at all
30 days
Of memorizing your scent
And breathing in your laugh
I don't hate a single thing about it
30 days
Of telling you not to change
Because I admire your kindness
And adore your smile
And getting to watch your eyes as they glaze over because of Christmas lights
30 days
Of being next to you
And fewer days
Of kissing you
And watching your body
As it is with my body
And knowing that this is
Beautiful
Like the night time
Where you are mine
Where your exhausted face
Is still amazing
After 30 days
I've memorized the way
We say goodbye
A million times each day

Do you understand what it's like to feel this way? I know it's so mixed up.
I stood so alone in the freezing cold weather and I missed them.
I missed all the lovers that stood with me there before hand
and I wanted to have them back there with me but I couldn't.
No matter how hard I wanted them there, they were gone.
And you know what?
They're still gone.
And where am I?
Here
Alone
And now there's you
and I don't know if I want there to be a you
because with you
comes trusting someone
new
everything is new and exciting
and i love it
but
I've been hurt so much
so many times that I have
inevitably
lost count
How can I trust you
when I don't know if I can even get close
How can I
How can I trust you?
It's all mixed up.
It's all mixed.

My best friend offered to **** himself, if only it would make me happy.
And of course I shook my head so quickly it almost flew right off my neck.

My best friend told me he was unhappy
and that he'd make sure his brains decorated his new apartment walls

and I cried my sorrowful tears

wept into my knees

My best friend offered to **** himself
if it would make me happy
but what he really meant to tell me was
that it would make him happy.

I made a path for us down the southern street
We never got the chance to meet
any other way
but here we are.
I built a staircase for us to climb together
to hold onto the steps in case we fell
I made them sturdy and rough so we wouldn't slip
I wanted to make sure you wouldn't hit your head
I wanted to make sure I wouldn't sprain my ankle for the millionth time
or trip and bump my knees or elbows.
I grasped hold of you easily
as soon as you came to me in my dreams.
They say
"when you find the one you'll know"
but I knew it all along
Even before I knew you at all.

I'll walk through walls just to touch your hand that's awaiting me on the other side.
I'll float above the clouds if you pass on, just for the chance of seeing you again.
I'll do anything that I can to make sure we're together
I'll do everything I know how to just to keep you near me.

Our souls intertwine like knitted hats worn on winter days
At night, you're in my dreams
Want you in my bed
Speak to me with your eyes
Hold my hands & take me with you wherever you may go
Hold me tightly & never let me go
Believe in me and all the love I've got for you
Believe that, our souls will stay this way forever if you want them to.