I had a dream that I was drowning,
I could feel my body, bobbing up and down
In the chilling, icy water.

When I opened my eyes,
Everything was dark, was I blind or could I see,
Was I drowning in water or blood that came from me?

It was blood, yes, though it wasn't my own,
Was I drowning just to drown,
Or was I too broken and alone?

But whose blood was it, if it wasn't mine,
How did it get there, where was there,
And where am I?

Face down in a pool, of thick red blood,
Freezing to death,
And sinking in like mud,

I am fading quickly, as I am near my last breath,
I whisper your name
At my last gasp.

My lungs fill with your blood,
I am nearing my end,
I killed you, and now I'm dying,

Like Romeo and Juliette,
Our story came to an end.

The salt in my tears
Stings my open cuts,
As every tear falls,
I get pains in my gut.

These wounds don't heal,
Because I keep cutting deeper,
I would see a therapist,
But this is much cheaper.

The pain in my eyes,
Should explain it all,
Sometimes we fall in love,
Other times we just fall.

Silently we crawl along these days from sun rise to set.
Holding onto our desperate pleas for help,
Crushing others we've only met.

Animals we are,
the worst of any kind.
For feeling we have,
which leaves us blind.

Human,
no word can hold so much beauty.

Human,
no word can hold so much disgust.

A world of pain...is what we've made.
That is why some choose not to stay.

Sometimes I think of you.
I think of you showing up at my house
in the middle of a snowstorm
with white roses,
hot cheetos,
High School Musical 3,
and your favorite sweater.
And you'd knock on my door
and I'd come running
and I'd open it up,
and there you would be.
You'd smile at me and whisper,
"I'm so sorry.
I made a mistake.
Please forgive me."
And,
because I love you,
I'd nod
and let you in.
We'd cuddle on the couch,
our bodies tangled in each other,
and we'd whisper,
"I love you."

Sometimes I think of you doing this.
Sometimes I believe that you are planning this.

But,
I don't know,
maybe I'm wishing for a Christmas miracle.
And,
we all know miracles don't exist.

behind my mask of emotions, there are things youd never expect to see
The pain the day causes
The sadness that looking at you makes
The hate for what you made me,
all of my emotions
its all just a lie
a mask to keep you from my deepest thoughts
i never take off my mask
it is what keeps up my facade
i pretend that i am happy and okay
but im not
if you look hard enough past my mask
you will see the real me

Don't promise me anything,
Because you wont be able to keep it.
We both know the truth,
It's not like it's a secret.

You're not a good person,
You only live lies,
So was it a mistake to let you
Come between my thighs?

I regret the past,
No more than the present;
And the future has been ruined,
By what you represent.

You took it all from me,
My heart, soul, and peace of mind,
I was left with less than nothing,
The night we were first intertwined.

Every day since then,
I've been spiraling down,
r-e-g-r-e-t,
Is the only thing I can think about.

But is regret the right word,
Or was it all just a mistake?
I gave you everything you wanted,
And all you did was take, take, take.

I'm upset with myself
And I'm upset with us,
For being so stupid,
Just out of lust.

I mean, love.

It's interesting
How quick
I can change

One second
I could be flying
The next
I could be face down on cement
My limbs outstretched
Like a star

Not much breath
Going through my lungs
A mixture of a panic attack on the way down
And the impact of my fall

The only thing I feel nowadays
Is empty
The last butterfly in my stomach
Flew away
Or died
Either way they're gone
I no longer feel
The blade going across my arms

The sharp pain
Followed by a burning sensation
I guess 'empty' is better than
Depressed
Suicidal
Hopeless
Alone
Worthless
Tired
And scared
But it sure as hell Isn't better than
Happy