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Jul 2014 · 367
Untitled
AJ Champoli Jul 2014
In a bouquet of Roses
the prettiest always has the thorn
Because of one flower
my skin's fine
but my soul is torn

Sooner of Later
the petals fall apart
just like my heart
thin my blood

In a Bouquet of Roses
the prettiest always has the thorn
Because of one flower
my skin's fine
but my soul is torn
Sooner or Later the petals fall apart
, just like my heart
thin my blood

No one sees the difference
No one notices a change
A square heart's circumference
a calendar rearranged
your birthday is now just another day
the day we met
, is somewhere behind yesterday
why doesn't someone just say
stop
stop and play

A fire burns deep in you
it freezes me from a distance
please darling you're burning
Let me be of assistance
That raging inferno
engulfed even the sea
burned everything to ashes
except for one tree

No one sees the difference
No one notices a change
A square heart's circumference
a calendar rearranged
your birthday is now just another day
the day we met,
is somewhere behind yesterday
why doesn't someone just say
stop
stop and play

Carved on rotten bark
in a square heart
says "me and you forever"
"we'll be together, we'll get through anything"
But now I know
what kind of fire
can burn down even that peaceful tree
it's only a fire started by me.
Jun 2014 · 382
I Walked the Line
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
Seriously can you just ******* out of my life
I use to think you were worth the time but you obviously don't think I am so I am done with this clearly not symbiotic relationship
I'm just a parasite to you
someone who leeches for life
where they thought they could find it
I thought I had found something in you
something special
something that no one else had
and that was the courtesy to care past hi and bye
but you rather plug you headphones in and sound me out
than plug in your heart let me in

I want so badly to care
and I get you are mad at me
but honey I have no ***** to spare
only without you i'm free

I am glad we'll never talk again because every time I'll see your face and remember what you thought of me
every smile, a frown I will reciprocate
every giggle will be you laughing at me like you did before

So I'll live my life on mute
and deaf to whatever you say
I'll wear a hole filled suit
you can't shoot me down anymore when I'm walking away

Life is too short to spend with people who hate you
In the future you'll look at my friends and I and say "I wish I could do as they do"
Nothing goes right, my anger lost is rhyme
All you need to know
is ***** ******* this is the end of the line
Jun 2014 · 328
I need you
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
I need you
the clothes on my back
the fears that keep me alive
the dreams that pull my present life off track
you the one who keeps me wanting to be alive

I want you
I want to see your face everyday
as your eyes are the window to a world I wish I could live in
I want to hold your hand
and I know I am shaking because I am nervous next to you
but it's only because the words I want to say to you want so badly to get out
but my tongue is a steadfast guard waiting at the gates of what I should and shouldn't do

I have to have you
I have to have the sun and the moon
the sky and the sea
the fire and the ice
awaiting all around me
For you are the sun
with radiance that brings life into existence
For you are the moon
a beacon of hope to all those who are tangled in the vines of their own beloved hate for themselves
For you are the sky and sea
I am a volcano and whenever I explode you are there to control my burning fire
you are the sky to push my lava back down to where I belong
on earth with you
You are fire
You do not fear me or anything else
You are ice
and my anger and yelling melts a little bitter deeper every time
until you are inside yourself

I know you hate me
but for you my love is unbearably true
My depression blossomed into a great redwood tree
and believe me I really ******* need you.
Jun 2014 · 275
Why I'll never drink
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
I wish I had you back
I don't believe in an afterlife
if I did there would be some hope
of seeing you
hearing you
listening to you
knowing you
for even a moment

Sticks and Stones broke my bones and left me speechless
left me alone
alone in a room with nothing but the soft whispering echo of what I think you may have sounded like in a darker time passed
I wish even in the times we didn't like each other much that you could be back and I'd rather hate you and know you than you be gone any longer

You said we'd travel the world together
when you got better
when I got older
You and I
strong men together facing the world
but it's funny how the thing that never goes to plan is the plan
I wish we could have played catch one more time
just you and me
a Patriots football gliding through the air like my hopes once did
this time we could play for hours
we never got to before
and one time you'll throw the ball too far and I'll go get it
and by the time I come back you'll be gone
vanished like my hopes
vanished like alcohol in the cup
vanished like the life in your eyes the last time I saw you and never get to say goodbye dad

We were gonna travel the world together
but in that last moment when you see the life drain from the strongest man you know
and you feel the panic in their face and the panic in your heart as you can tell the rope of life is slipping and you can't pull it back
that is more of a life lesson than any traveling could do
The alcohol made it so you'll never meet my wife or my kids someday
You saw a freeze frame image as me as a child in horror the last time you had the life in you to blink
and I'll never forgive myself for handing you those cups
and that's why I'll never drink
Jun 2014 · 259
Walk Alone
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
I need something
can put my finger on it
is it even tangible?
I need the feeling I get to hear my footsteps synchronize with yours
To know we are thinking as one
in a way even you can't deny

I need that
I need this
I need your bare feet on the tile floor
and I need your smile

Legs moving same angle
same degree
same timing
same thought
same grief
same whining
same sought
Which is more satisfying stick or stone
to crush those bones that walk beside yours
One Brain divided cannot stand
A Game of Magical Thrones
When I cross street would you hold my hand?
Of course not, that's why my shadow and I always walk alone.
Jun 2014 · 354
At Last
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
Number 1: Don't fail today
Number 2: Make sure you make a list worth listening to
Number 3: Don't forget number 4
Number 4: ****.....

Just a shadow
not dark enough to be a silhouette
and a phantom
with no place to haunt

Alone for a day is all I want
Alone for a week is all I desire
Alone for a month in a constant haunt
Alone for a year long enough to expire
Alone for your life time's come to pass
Alone for eternity with you at last.
Jun 2014 · 597
Silhouettes
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
I live in a world with no people
just open
murky day
after murky day with my light always on

365 days a year just sitting there waiting for someone to make you a bit more necessary
and necessary is the word
just one intsy tintsy bit of self esteem injected into the blood stream like
only the boost people give me is much more addicting
and I have more money at the end of the day too

I am alone in room
door locked
enough food to last a long time and enough internet and video games to keep me busy
but everything just fills a gaping hole inside of you like no other
a hole that grows bigger the more you try to fill it

Grey walls
Grey cement floor
ceilings quite tall
bolted shut door

When I pacing as I do for a long time every day
(no sunlight so I can't tell time)
I noticed someone behind me everytime
a dark force the same everything as me
he copied my every movement and would do just as I said
a loyal and obedient friend, about time for that right?
For years and years I got to know him
his name was charlie
and the reason he did everything just like me was because he wanted to be like me so much but he couldn't because only in complete darkness without light

I said I'll do whatever you need
For the first time ever I shut off the light
a sharp pain down my back
and a piercing feeling through my cornea I couldn't see
I rolled around in the bed
found the bolted door and tried to pry it open but it wouldn't move
I was blind with no hope in the world to know what happens next
I scramble as teeth pierce through my neck and blood starts pouring out of me
I find the lantern
light the match and the room illuminates and the pain stops
such a strange thing that

After that day Charlie and I didn't talk anymore he just stood behind me while I sat on my compute and stared with his darkness
then the day when I couldn't take it anymore I took the chair I sat in and the chord to give my computer electricity and hung myself.
The last thing I heard was a knock on the door and deep voice saying
20 minutes till the bus, get up now or you'll be late
and Charlie kicked the chair over and I now I am just hanging there now knowing what happens when befriend your own silhouette.
Jun 2014 · 444
Fake
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
An Endless lie
but momentary honesty
that's all I want
the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow that has one desolate ******* piece of yourself that isn't just fool's gold

You are nothing but another part of the collective
another face
another name that no one will pronounce because to everyone else in this big world you don't ******* matter
You dress the way you do to fit in with the misfits
You are just a contradiction that is contradicting why I should even bother knowing you

I used to think you were my world
and I wanted to be your moon
revolve my life around you
that was the plan
but the thing that never goes to plan is the plan

I don't look good enough for you
I don't have tattoos but my body is a temple
I am not thin enough
to make it simple
I am nothing that you want

I try to get your help when I need it most and all you do is put me on pause because a guy just walked by and mmmm he is cute and better looking than you so sry hope the ground kills you instantly so you won't remember how bad I made you feel.

Next time I need your help as I am falling without a net
for goodness ******* sake
just admit everything about you is fake
Jun 2014 · 589
How cute you are
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
Bare feet on the tile floor
no cares anymore
your favorite band blasting out of your speakers
I  only wish I could be her's

Be her favorite jokster
favorite nerd
favorite musician
favorite guy who talks to her
favorite guy
favorite mishap
favorite mean person she knows
favorite anything.

You are great
nope better
awesome
no perfect
no.
By the time the photons from your face connect to my eyes
and turn into the images I know as you
I've already convinced myself in and out of saying anything possibly wishily washily maybe possibly sort of kind of that can give you the wrong impression of me

I love looking at space
I know you do too
we are stargazers
looking out there because we don't like what we see down here
When I see stars I see you
A constant bright light shining through the blackened veil that is smothering me with fear at night
You are the perfectly imperfect stars to me
I just hope someday you'll see one of those stars as me.
Jun 2014 · 293
What being happy is like
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
Air lifting
Ocean floor shifting
inward not outward
together in harmony

Cracks on space
hold together nature's embrace
titans to sublimate
never to proliferate hate

Wild untamed
melting together
and fusing apart
only to not care if you end where you start

Look outside your window
down at the sea
to learn about what you didn't know
about you or me

Earth is not angry it is happy instead
Her happiness won't cease to the vermin are all dead
So the next time you see a seismographs spike
just remember this is what Earth's happiness looks like.
Jun 2014 · 271
Burst Out!
AJ Champoli Jun 2014
Breathing heat
Pressure steep
nothing's complete
birth's receipt

Pay for thing you said
blood down your wrists
should have stayed quiet instead
Always learning from that class I missed

Broken pages
young girl's diary
not from force
but from pain
drops of happiness of the windowpane

On this Island instead alone we contemplate
How the others have successfully changed our fate
How we don't need them anymore
How people born from bad parents shouldn't call you a stupid *****

On the Island it's peaceful alone with beats and a book
No capitalists pressuring you anymore
**** your nook

Many people feel the same
yet we don't unify
to see our imperfectly perfect flag rise to the sky
because on the evil mainland they feed off your doubt
Be your own eruption and just burst out.

— The End —