hempy

hempy Jun 2015

purpose

what ever you believe,
believe it passionately.
become obsessed.
do not become complacent
but forever thirsty
for knowledge.
become the expert.
let others find you bizarre
and different.
live it
through your words
and through your actions
and through the way
you spend your time.
fall in continuous love with it.

hempy Jun 2015

there is horror in romance

love is scary.
not because it waits in the dark to grab me
or eat me
or stab me.
but because it makes me move,
in ways i couldn't before.
it makes me say things
i wouldn't before.
it makes me want to hide,
because it's beautiful
and i don't have words to tell it that it is.
love makes me cry
when nothing is hurting me
and laugh
when nothing is even funny.

hempy Jun 2015

love, like sound to the deaf mans ears.

i was in love with you.
did that not mean enough?
i am sorry.
there was no stronger word
to tell you how much you mean
to me.
if there was
i would wear that word to pieces too.
i would write it on my arms
and on my lips
and over my eyelids.
i would live it
everyday
and in my sleep
and in my dreams.
but it still wont make you feel it.
...
why can't you just feel it.

hempy Jun 2015

the gaping hole i fill with you

i am empty
let me eat you
let me eat you

hempy Jun 2015

Needy

I am blind
beneath my own self hate
I cannot feel you
I cannot feel you
I do not accept your love
How can I believe you?
The stars aligned
And destiny kissed me
And whispered in my ear
'You are alone
No one can love you'
And I ate it
I digested it
And spat those words at you
Even when you look at me with love
Even when you bleed
Upon my brow
After taking the blows that I deserved
I will look at you
And ask you
If you mean it
You will die
In love with a ghost
And as a ghost
You will haunt me
But it will never be enough
It will never be enough

hempy Jun 2015

ghosts in our bellies

gravel
shovel
dig the earth with nails and teeth

and huddle
in puddles
of pain and insecurity

we're brain dead
you hate it
our words are mud
and sticks
and stones

and you cant
feel them
clawing at your skin and bones and

you keep peering out into the souls
of everyone
of every mold that broke
before one broke with you

and in this sameness sea we drift
another face
another place
to die
as strangers
often
do.

hempy Jun 2015

fullness, and soon i will know loss

some days
i am a bird
i know no bounds
i fly high
above the heads
of those who wish me harm

above the doubt
and the worry

over fears of betrayal
and loss
and rejection

some days
i am invincible.

i can say
no
to those creeping thoughts
and to my own demons

...

but other days
i am a worm

crawling blind
beneath the gravel
of my distrust

shoveling self image
into my gaping mouth

swallowing only flaws

my forehead drags
beneath my belly
until i roll into a ball of rotten dreams
and words left behind
when i forgot how to speak

i am a puff of smoke
blowing past the ears of my lover
and my lover
he is a bird.

...

some days