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 Jun 2012 Aila Natasha
phocks
Rain here falls too and with it
The sentimental smell that solitude brings
Sings in remembrance of times long past
That vast flood of memory mourning
The precipitation and the dissipation
Of a love cut short too soon
 Mar 2012 Aila Natasha
Lain Ender
How ticks the ebony clock,
With its incessant back and forth?

There is no harmony in me,
The mirror tells me so itself.

Blank,
So blank,
The cold pale reflection of the nothing I embody.

I have found that its only when I smash the mirror that the real me appears.

Among the trickles of blood from my hand,
And the tens of glistening shards.

I see myself
Every me.

Not distortion,
The portion of me that can be seen.
I see every me that ever was reflecting on the floor.

Only by twisting and breaking the false self,
Can the real self be absolved.
So i wrote this late last night in a very twilighty near sleep. The muscle relaxer for the arm I hurt was kicking in. I originally wasn't going to post it but i like it. The only thing i changed from last night is capitalization's and punctuation's
So I got this card
in the mail you see
“To: Virginia”
Pretty as can be

I opened the card
with a half-assed smile
only to see
a number to dial

I picked up my phone
and with much despair
dialed my girlfriend
whose number was there

“I think it’s you
and definitely not me.
I’m fairly sure
we weren’t meant to be.”

As I hung up the phone
with a smile on my face
I thought of some blackmail
of her in lace

My puppy dreaming
by my side
You won’t be ready
for this ride

It was a bad idea
to break up with me
And now in time
you shall see

I’m kind of a *****
when it comes to you
I really don’t care
what the hell I do

As long as in the end
I see you cry
And I’ll tilt my hat
With a satisfactory sigh

I don’t hate today
as you see
I just toss some arsenic
in their tea

I’m glad you’re in love
I mean, it’s really plain to see
With your Facebook stati
and obnoxious deeds

Finally one girl
got it right
and bought me a puppy
for all my lonely nights

She knew that I
didn’t need a card or flowers
I just needed
a friend who sat next to my shower

Although this girl
can’t compare
her bright evening eyes
and wind-blown hair

She didn’t send me
that horrid card
she simply reminded me
that life is hard

She didn’t leave me
to fend for myself
she instead put my ego
on a slightly higher shelf

Although I loved that other
card-sending *****
I’m fairly certain
that you’re it

My Valentine’s Day wish
come alive in my room
across the hall
next to the food

So to everyone else
who is lonely on the day
I say to you
Don’t be swayed

I found my girl
in a different type wrapping
You can always find yours
But don’t ever be sappy

This girl is at class
taking tests, and passing life
I’m sitting in my room
as high as a kite

Not high on ****
or any other type drug
As cheesy as this is
I’m completely high on love
 Feb 2012 Aila Natasha
Lain Ender
Spring has dawned,
The air runs free,
Some hearts grow ripe,
Like fruit on trees.

Spring has bloomed,
The light runs fair.
For words we speak,
Flutter softly in the air.

Not all of us have the heart to love,
Not all of us are freed.
To some love is a blessing,
To others it is a bitter ****.
Happy Valentines Day?
 Feb 2012 Aila Natasha
phocks
we will greet the mourning sun.
together we will shine.
we'll send the light to everyone.

evolution in the heart, evolution in the soul,
evolution in the part, evolution in the whole.

we come in the name of all that is insane,
we come from a time when our ancestors are strung out on the line,
our crime is such that the answers don't seem to mean that much.

you sit there so patiently in your room,
and you dream that the end is coming soon.
you listen to the modern prophets, shouting in the street,
fed with the instruments that you play with your feet.
you go a-wandering, through the crowd, but they don't hear you speak.
with your mouth wide open, you make no sound.

staring into sounds, the cacophony of june.
twenty-one hundred miles away,
the crystal bell begins to sound and the people recall the tune.
they heard it long ago, a faded rainbow on their minds.
and so we stumble in the dark, with bright signs all around,
calling our numbers through the crowd.
it's all connected.
trees with hollow souls, we climb them in the night,
never wanting it to end.
the diamond light begins to shine and echoes over the town.
they take it in their stride, the rapid paintings that fill their minds,
and slowly we command the time, to fall away in fine lines,
tempered to boiling point inside.
it's all connected.

all the children played, laughing in the rain.
long ago they looked just like you and me.
no longer do they need their meagre shells of existence,
to leap from tree to tree, clinging to their lives high above.

i've seen the sunshine.
i've seen the rain.
i hear that whistle a-blowin'.
it's driving me insane, again.
i've seen her pack her things and leave on the train.
i've seen a thousand painters, with the sun in their eyes.
i've seen the children walking, with no place to crawl.
i've seen the pictures playing, to only empty seats.
i've seen the people marching, up and down those ancient streets.
i've heard the newborn baby crying, all alone in the dark.
i've played to a crowded room, with no one in sight.
i've seen the sunrise, hang around for days.
i've seen the playground, from when i was a child.
i've heard your silence.
i've sung a song to you.
i've heard the old man laughing, outside in the rain.
i've heard the gunshots blasting, down my own front door.
i've seen a hundred archers, with no targets in sight.
i've seen a girl in the pale afternoon, just looking for fun.
i've seen the man a-wandering, throughout the city streets.
i've seen the pickets heading down to the blood-soaked beach.
i've seen the flowers bending, in the gusty wind.
i've watched as people flushed their freedoms down the drain.

the smouldering ruin that was your last regret,
is saying hello to all the people you met down town.
while you were there, pretty people everywhere,
with coloured ribbons in their hair,
coming back to haunt you in your dreams, so it seems.
the silent chattering of your alphabet,
is burning down with your cigarette.
billowing smoke around the room on some foggy afternoon,
and in time you'll be there soon,
floating around inside a red balloon,
away, to another day.

o doom and delight they fight battles in the mind.

configurations of existence, for your pattern to arise,
a victim of circumstance.
time to go out through the window.
you know you've never been through,
though you know just where it goes.
mine for gold, out where the cool wind blows,
your mind is an overflow, a garden waiting to grow.
and the songs you sing are written in your dreams.
and the dreams you dream are never what they seem.
when you figure it out, without a doubt,
you'll never say what you mean,
and never mean what you say.

i know you know what i know.
i see you know what i see.
i hear you know what i hear.
i am you know that i am.

now we can see the roads you're walking down.
and we can see the histories being spun around.
it will come to show you'll need a little self-control,
when you're living your life and dancing to our rock n roll.
these words were written long ago
We just can't make them
like this anymore.
The skill and craftsmanship
have been sacrificed
on the altar of accuracy
and machines and computers
have sterilised
the smell of hard work and love.

To make such a map
with no satellites, no certainty
meant wallowing in the mystery of the world.
In the space between knowing and supposing
there was a beauty
we may now miss, or deem unimportant.

However,
if I want to get from my house
to your grave, to pay my respects -
through the shopping malls
and bypasses,
the glass and steel towers
you could never have imagined,

I will use my sat-nav
and be grateful for it.
I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."
Copyright by Ash L. Bennett, 2011

— The End —