Thoughts ..
Confusion in my head on where I am and where I want to be.
Sleepless nights because my thoughts are never at peace..
I ask myself when, how and why did this happen
My ship is sinking and I chose me to be the captian
I hate when I get like this, it makes it hard to see straight
I feel locked in ah cage with myself that I can't escape
I need someone to come in and save me with a with a long beautiful cape
But I am the only superhero in this story and it's not up for debate
See I can save myself but RightNow I don't know how
I see smiles and laughter but how I feel right now is so foul
Things don't make sense they never have
I've always had ah plan to paint out this life path
But right now I feel stuck and ah rut and all I can do is pout
Right now  have  a lot of doubt I can't explain **** with my mouth
So I use poetry to explain how I feel  the nice way like sweet old ladys from down south .
I pray I feel better and find a way out
Because I am the capitan and ah superhero I have a lot to let out
See I can save me I  don't need anyone else
But im fighting myself I'm running out wealth and losing good health
I can't eat can barely sleep this pain cuts so sharp like a knife dugged so deep
In my spine I argue with my mind
I tell myself over and over that I'll be fine
But deep down I know I'm lyin
I stand tall scared to cry
Thoughts never stop runnin til you die
I believe in the 3rd eye but right now I think it's closed
I'm off balance I suppose
I preach positivy but I feel surrounded by negativity
I planted these roots to grow strong like an oak tree
But lately I've been so disappointed in me
See I can save myself but right now I don't know how
So excuse me for my attitude and my demeanor I know you can spot this pain out of ah crowd
That's really not me
One day y'all will see
Why These are my reasons on why I can't Sleep.

Dreams, walking in nightmares
With my mind tip toeing on life...

With darkness surrounding my heart,
Consistently ....debating with my soul
I hold on with prayers to let go,

Have my faith lead my blindness
With the truth to delivery my sight

Nightmares in my dreams......
I pray for a brighter day
Prayers for better words to say
To be positive in see the beauty In life
To live and laugh in too feel youth
Not to grow old to fast ......

But make every lesson my past and not my first
Find the finer things in life to quench my thirst......

I look deep when my eye sight go low n  teach myself to go high.....
Even if I have to walk away n say good bye
I am awoke like my 3rdeye
Change will come but it starts with me
With you or without you I can still be all i want to be
But now with you gone my mind and soul is finally free
My heart sinks with the pain of letting go
But ******* n I mean that so
******* n your feelings
And the heaight you may grow
The *** was good but learned to say NO
I learned to accept you are who you are
I can't change you like I can't catch a shooting star
I can forgive but never forget
The laughs n memory  were the best but  **** it
It's  either you or my sanity
And **** I chose me
Like my life path number .?......3
I'm destined to be
You killed me once but never again
I thought you were my forever friend

Now my story ends...

But before I leave I jus thought you should kno
that the nightmares will never go.

When the name matches the descriptions
When saying I love you is not hard to mention
When time doesn't determine it all
But knowing that I love you makes it easier for me to fall
See history will hold you hostage
Making you scared of the new n better
Literally ya smile brightens up any weather
You smell so sweet like a fresh rose coming out of Earth
I see potential in you I sense ya worth
I've been dark but with you n ya love you can brighten my world
The N is for the never leaving your side
The I is for that regardless of how mad I'll ever get I promise to always ride
The A is for allowing me to love you geniuely n to show you through actions your the Apple of my eye
Love is dangerous but I don't feel fear
I Kno I want to see ya face n feel you near
I just want you to know that I am here. I love you

You don't love me never did....
Let it burn
All the rush all the desire
Let it burn
All the fire and the hate turn it into the light at the the end of the race
I sought love I found love
**** ..Love destroyed me
It destroyed my smile
My laugh my sense to feel
But I can taste tears
I use my words to cut deep but never my hands
Meeting you was nothing but gods plan
I turned your wrongs into right
I learned to say ok instead of fight
You couldn't do right so I left
Now the gear in my heart makes my chest tight
Because never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine not holding you at night.
I pulled the trigger to end it all
The battle turned into a war and you was standing tall.
I run I run fast enough to get away but hearing I love is like running into a brick wall I can't escape
I can't win so does that mean I lose
Damnnnnnnnn... I have bad news Youre the one I choose... The one I can't let loose
But that night ended it all, I stood with my chest held high willing to fall
I had to say goodbye
**** ah battle I won the war I put me first even tho my heart had tore
But that pain I can endure
I can't justify how you  act
I can testify how I feel
You don't love me
You don't even know what's real

I look up at the stars
And wonder if life for me will truly be great
If I can conquer love and overcome hate
If I'll grow tall and meet my true soulmate
If my prayers will tell my fate
If I'll meet my goals on a certain date
I look up at the stars and jus wonder
What's my true reason on Earth
What If the waves are to wavy to surf
I been the chosen one since birth
Wonder if pain will never hurt
Maybe I need church to search deep down
To understand why I choose to wear a frown ..

Strength ...
Strength is pain
Strength is fears
Strength gives you the courage to wipe those tears
Because even when life seems at the rear
And your **** near at the end
You have ah friend

Strength
See strength is like ah snake
It looks weak but **** dat ***** is strong
It holds on and grips so tight
Because strength is the intuition for you to fight
When you feel like youve done nothing right
I pick up the pencil n write
I lay these painful words down
Find a way to smile n be jolly like ah clown
But I decided  that ah frown is my favorite
Im not Gon front like I'm not hurt
I wear it proudly I wear it remorsefully
But see that's strength
Because even wit pain comes pleasure
You have to look deep with in to find that gold treasure
Whether you believe it or not
You made me this way
You made ah monster
And now you can't lay
But see that's strength because I never questioned myself
Ihade to trust
That I am strength n the strength is me .

Rain rain but you can stay
Just take the pain and confusion away
Another day on Earth in this beautiful world
The potential is endless in you girl
From the way you carry ya self
Ya presence is addicting, Ya smile is enough
I know what I want like ah kid
I have this crazy thought of you in my bed
Me making you reach the top  while I give you crazy nasty head
I look up n see the tears of pleasure you shed
I wanna **** n make up
I wanna start from the bottom to the top, in dedicate my tongue to you
I can't stop
Come to me I promise I'll be gentle
I'ma give you all of me can you handle
I swear I dont bite
I know you going thru **** so jus think of me as ya kryptonite
I will save you
Ya body is a diamond in the ruff
I know the past has hurt you I Kno loving me is tuff
But trust me let me take my time
I wanna discover every inch of ya body
Like it's mine
I want to choke you til you can't breath while you ride me
The thought of that is so satisfying
Your beautiful inside and out it's no denying
Choose me choose me
To take over ya world
Chose me to be ya baby girl

Rain rain but you can stay
Just take the pain and confusion away
Another day on Earth in this beautiful world
The potential is endless in you girl
From the way you carry ya self
Ya presence is addicting, Ya smile is enough
I know what I want like ah kid
I have this crazy thought of you in my bed
Me making you reach the top  while I give you crazy nasty head
I look up n see the tears of pleasure you shed
I wanna **** n make up
I wanna start from the bottom to the top, in dedicate my tongue to you
I can't stop
Come to me I promise I'll be gentle
I'ma give you all of me can you handle
I swear I dont bite
I know you going thru **** so jus think of me as ya kryptonite
I will save you
Ya body is a diamond in the ruff
I know the past has hurt you I Kno loving me is tuff
But trust me let me take my time
I wanna discover every inch of ya body
Like it's mine
I want to choke you til you can't breath while you ride me
The thought of that is so satisfying
Your beautiful inside and out it's no denying
Choose me choose me
To take over ya world