I feel as though
You left a void
In the spot where you stood
Next to me
Whether in line for lunch
Or a movie
Or on a drive
In the afternoon
You are everywhere I go
Except you aren't
You are gone now
But I suppose
You are everywhere I go
Because you aren't

When you studied abroad
I missed you so wildly
There was a peculiar thing that happened
I remembered your warm smile
And the glasses you wore
And the way you would hug me like a bear
We drifted some but I maintained the hope
That soon I would know you again
But then I dreamt that I did
And as I looked at your face
Your glasses had vanished
And your eyes turned to stains
And while this was peculiar, what was even worse
Was that your smile had not even changed

Sometimes when I’m sad,
The solution is easy;
I’ll just lather on lipstick
Or put The Beatles on repeat.

A long drive to clear my head,
A good book to ease my mind,
As it turns out contentment
Isn’t always hard to find.

But sometimes when I’m sad,
The solution seems shaded.
I can’t get thoughts together
And my rationale is jaded.

Then suddenly I’m sinking
With a truck on my chest,
In the middle of the night
When my mind disconnects.

The most frightening part
Of the nights I spend awake
In a panic, is that they start
As the sadness I can take.

So had I put that album on
Or gone to drive when I got off,
Maybe I’d have slept tonight
Instead of peeling myself up off

The kitchen floor at five am,
And showering the black out
From underneath my eyes
And dragging myself throughout

The coming day like it was nothing.
I’m an idiot to treat these ordeals like they’re nothing.
Though I have no idea at all how to stop them,
In reality they are very much something.

Cross-legged on the couch,
A staring contest.
“I love your eyes,”
His lips say into mine,
His words drifting surely
Up into my ears.

Kissing on the couch
Is how we get acquainted
With one another,
His tongue drawing circles
Around the back
Of my front teeth.

There is a poem
Inside of me
It is threatening
To boil over
Now it’s seeping out
Onto paper
Words all *****
From my pencil

I've lost people who I need
through a variety of means.
Each one has been bitter;
nothing sweet, none to please.
I've lost people
to college towns
and new places,
better lives.
I've lost people
for reasons
that I still can't
say why.
I've lost people
to caskets
and fallouts
never mended.
I've lost people
who fell off
and lost people
who ascended.
I've lost people
all my life-
and in my life,
I'll lose plenty.

I would rather be lonely
Here than lonely
There; rather here
Where I know
No one and no one
Knows me,
Than at home
Where they see me
Come and go but
Don't even see.
Better to be ignored
By strangers you
May never see again
Rather than
The people you face
Every night
Whether or not you
Eat dinner at
The table with them.

I would shut off the power
In Cincinnati for an hour
Just to see the light come back on
In your eyes.

I would swim out from shore
A hundred miles- maybe more-
If that would save you from drowning
In your worries.

I would change all the words
To every song I’d ever heard
Just to sing the words you may
Want to hear.

And I would mend all the shards
Every fragment of who you are
If that would keep you from
Falling apart.

I will be sturdy, not easily
shaken by the world when it breaks
at each end. I will be
strong, stern, and compassionate.
I will change this broken world that I live in.
I will look fear in the eyes
and breathe fire.
And when ignorance sings
its filthy song, I will cup my hands
around my ears. I will close my eyes
when hate hurts my heart. I will refuse
to succumb to the will of the world
but I will be an avid participant
in changing it.