held up legitimate excuses
fully executing unfocused choices
returning, backspacing this type
same sentences, of looking back
from rough drafts, rewriting
keeping words behind images
spoken actions restricted glances

still looking to find my essence
as repeated waves came tides
contrived to dissolve so to solve
all secured within tiers of a castle,
granulations formed from memory

write so to form, a type of sand
tangible untangled tactility
measured through these hands
we can only grasp these times

Come by tonight i'll share this time
a while we'll stare, my words will exile your eyes
no more unspoken defined soft talking
I hope this alone will change the tone
to remix reminisce this melody

I'm always beside you here
These thoughts for you I keep
So you don't hear though, my whisper
through this night, it will be clear

hesitating this mind stating in keeping safe
I had to reflect so to take a step back
Making sure my step forward
Wasn't someone beside me
Aside from this heart
Getting hurt by all this Inside
Dwelling I''ve been there
Stayed there, and you don't know it
but I just realized it
you brought me out of misshaped
beats that I always kept tracking back
because I could follow your beat.

I'm always beside you here
These thoughts for you I keep
So you don't hear though, my whisper
through this night, it will be clear

to the thought of you
that motif of you
was like a latent infection
like hives to my face
making me red but breathless

made me realize
got me sensitized
when a new face,
recalled called before
these eyes that came into focus
instead of my eyes clear to you

that was once too far before
repetitive inhibited i’ve become
playing mute like an idiot
like a puppet on the a string
couple with a hand up the rear
faking every smile with a cheer

this isn’t a hate a poem
not lyrics to tic away
the times of regret to rhyme

no, not at all
not seemingly at all
not even partial, somewhat

i needed to make peace
with myself, and my mother
a tangible door that i left
through with the window
wide open, tired, and confused
through a flow that obstructed
with only beams from high school
no foundation to be constructed
I upset her and it was not you
it was the person that gave
the very thought of me to even
conceive to help you, be there for you
i repressed that, i suppressed that
but finally I’m relieved of you
now closer to my parents
that you’ll ever be to yours
it’s the truth, not an insult

i spent all these years
psychoanalyzing a psyche
undirected, ironically
you gave me direction
away, no contention
just signs, and many exits
but i continued to drive
passing opportunities
friends and happy moments

i have internalize this too long
reading into nothing, yes it could have been
but I focused on changing you,
because of you, what you have seen

i’m done, fully relinquished
you probably won’t know, or ever care
or even read this, never took interest
anyways on this craft of mine
only on witchcraft because you never
cared too much on your own faith
again the truth

as I observed, you’ll only come around
from getting broken and surely that was it
but in the end, there was only so much
we can mend the people around us
they have to realize, and yes you made me realize

if the world wasn’t the way it is
the only women i’d call my best friend
wouldn’t have to contend with the contents
of this poetic discourse, because frankly
all this could have been averted
but it was because I’m too good of a person
too nice of a guy, never wanted to play the game
now i’ve mastered it, just been holding on this space

but that was it, it was just space
you dragged the offensive of me
a defensive I have known all along
and kept pensive
it’s just we try to keep
what we can not have

different side of the sun
walking toward noon rises
set to driving before night
betting the prior hours away

changing minds
amateur detour
to mature tours
all I once promised
to myself I wouldn't
flip, but time limits
inhibits our poker face
before you know it
your all in

compare a year's days
of eight hours, I actually miss
juggling the jungle of working
the vines, and finding solace
under the shade of night
with new acquaintances
ever different, my eyes
ever blinking, linking
to a new soul, and not limited
to roaming like an unfinished ghoul

the business of a bottle neck effect,
i'm looking to "evolve"
filling the palindrome
and adapt as I always do
as we always eventually
find a means to

i'm seeking my calm
with music in alms
to other's palms
so my hands, and my ears
through headphones
become calls to my mind
as the alarm clocks in again
good morning - to the mirror
your good to go again

realize, realize
defense mechanisms
not on impulse rather
falsifying my intention
to deter my pure elevation

you took out the genie,
but the wish maker in me
got left in the lamp hampering
strokes to my mind in the past
that I fully finally freely let go
no longer wavering
now waving adieu

finding again that old courage
to pursue you

hit the play button, unwind
and all a of sudden laughter
matches pitches and tones
switching expression, from
last ditches and groans
that displaced the day.

break out the bottles
taking out messages
to mess and address
the irony to humor;

a winding tide
to what is seen
to eventually forget
ourselves through
a musing, as we delve
our attraction to fill
the missing tiles
all the while
not keeping score
yet presenting
the core of who we are
in each encore
laugh, and coupled smile
paused, satisfied
that the day has ended
in the company of understanding.

I would be lying if I said
i couldn’t read
what is on the back of my hand
because what is on my mind
describes the inscription
on the palm of my hand

That’s why I can’t help
but look down and prepare
the roles in my eyes
every time I hear
your familiar tone
trying to play by ear
on keys I’m still trying
to find to hold.

then i strike a chord
you search the sound
to imitate, we both smile
and create a look so similar
so familiar
because you have music
in thought to my lyric

I think we can commit
to memory this piece
of harmony we started
to play and lend
a melody to
but if not i’ll try to play
without notes
and hopefully
you’ll follow too