It’s too long
It’s too long for comfort.
It’s starting to become unnatural
Stretched
Losing its elasticity.
The bounce back isn’t as sharp and I’m seeing that now
I’m realizing that.
The recovery time is extending with every year or so,
Healing isn’t as quick anymore.
More time is being added to the que
And there's nothing I can do about that but give it up to God.
Let the universe take ahold of this catastrophic event—
The time is out of your hands.
I have an issue with control, where I let it manifest its way into my world and tell me how to do things “right..”
Like a teacher seeing you mishandle the equipment time and time again—
“Here, let go, let me show you how it’s done…”
Well excuuuuse me.
You gotta know when to let go.
I battle with not knowing nothing at all
Battle with guilt, shame. Thinking everything is on me, like I gotta carry all the weight in order to “reap.”
This nauseous feeling creeps up reminding me of my wrongdoings—feeling so boxed in with every mistake I make there’s no room for grace i fret.
I fret it’s too late for that
too thin for that
Lost its elasticity.
Words mean nothing anymore—they’re just words vomiting out of one’s mouth. That box becomes smaller and smaller to the point you have to move out, there’s no more room for your *******. For thee *******.
That heart that once pumped a thousand emotions at once has now stretched…
Becoming thin
Withered and tired.
This isn’t normal, it’s too long for comfort.

You used to want to hold me in your arms,
Now the games give you solace. 
You’d tell me your every thought,
Now we sit in stillness.
I want to be there.
Your episodes are new seasons to me.
I share my body in ache for your showcase and closeness. 
Once you’re done with me you’re back on your solitude. 
I used to be your light,
But I’ve dimmed the ‘shine’ with my selfishness.
My job is to be there,
But my presence feels so obsolete,
Disconnected.
I must be patient with you. 
Kiss me through the phone,
I want to replenish your heart.
Nurture you from the ground up,
Water you with my affirmations.

I hope my eyes still give you a kaleidoscopic dream.

Wish things were the way they used to be. 
Now I barely see you and you’re right in my face. 
It’s like I’m frustrated 
But can’t be. 
I need to be there.
Waking up every morning 
Hoping for a full moon.

I feel like I’m losing you, 
Slipping through my fingers. 
Less than, 
Out of control.
Like there’s no sense of time.

Hello birdie,
You flown on my shoulder and sung me a melody.
A melody that couldn’t be replicated
A melody that was meant for me.
I’ve been hooked to the tune ever since…
My sweet birdie
You’re so free.
I fear you’ll soar so far
You won’t come back home.

I see you’re a special one
Your melody is different.
It sends fireworks through my veins—
Rushing to my vitals—
Pumping and generating pure love.

How selfish of I to have something so beautiful.
I wait on you by the window,
But you’ve slowly stopped coming.
I don’t look for any other symphony but yours.
But I guess I’ve stopped listening to your song…

I’ve shut my window and closed my ears.
Tuned myself into other noise.
You’ve flown so far from me I can no longer hear you.
That is my fault…
Have I taken advantage of your specialness?
I fear you’ll sing that same melody elsewhere.

God, my sweet songbird
What have I done?…
So gentle
So serene.
I fear you’ve already sung that special tune to someone else.
Open my window and stick my head out,
I put my ear against the wind
And waited.
Waiting…
Is it too late?

You’ve grown tired of singing to me
But I won’t stop.
I’ll stand by my window and wait.
Wait till I hear your nectarous symphony again.
I won’t stop
Till I feel you on my shoulder once again,
Home at last…