Like slowly pouring
scorching candle wax
into the palms of your hands
anticipating
the burning desire
to feel something
the sensation
won't last forever
but you'll never forget
what it feels like
no matter how quickly it
stops
burning.

Today I took forever letting go  
of my bed,
sentiments of your skin
still lingers
so warm and slow
our sheets miss you.
too


-andreasiera

Abrasions from her words
marked my skin
I let her in
beneath my skin
her verbs
within
my flesh
heart covered in welts
I have these scars on my chest
to prove I felt
her words
deeply.

-andreasiera

I craved cigarettes today
I hate the smell
and the smoke in my throat
I remember being a child,
watching aunts & uncles
smoke their lungs away
as went to fetch the ashtray
they demanded me to go get
the calm
that submerged from their faces after one drag
is what I remember the most
I wonder if they imagined
being the ashes
that carelessly blew into the wind and became one with the smoke
as they inhaled the poison that controlled their happiness
those small pieces of burned tobacco ashes
were free to go
free to roam
wherever their light flight took them
before they evaporated into thin air...

I craved cigarettes today
the last time I craved cigarettes
a woman broke my heart
I remember vividly
that short but very silent ride to the gas station
with her
she watched as I purchased my pack of cigarettes
in distress
she was in shock or sadness with my purchase
I couldn't really make out which
as her condescending lips...
said " Don't die"
as I so desperately wanted to tell her how I had died along time ago from her malicious care
but of course,
my....
passive aggression would not allow me to actually speak those words to the primary cause of my self-inflicting pain
more parts of me died that night
and it wasn't from tobacco
Needless to say
I only smoked two cigarettes that day
after throwing the pack away...
but today.
I craved cigarettes
as a source to extinguish my pain
as if the detrimental inhale would save my soul
it wasn't cigarettes that I craved
it was always the escape
from pain
I craved.

She had the most alluring vibe
her depths
would tangle me into her presence
and as we created energy that night
I felt the moon
in my womb.

Let's evaporate into the fire
of our burning desires
let's escape the surface
and explore the depths of each other's soul
let's stop searching
and start creating
most people are too afraid
to live their truths
not us
not you

I wouldn't mind being your muse
I wouldn't mind being of your use
Just use me well
I wouldn't mind bringing you experiences
I wouldn't mind being your poems
I wouldn't mind invading that space in your mind that you reserve for...
No one
I wouldn't mind, you saying 'you're mine'
I wouldn't mind sharing your mind
Your soul
I wouldn't mind
Even temporarily
I wouldn't mind...

'I will no longer date, socialize, or communicate with "potentials" to appease my boredom to quench my thirsty desire for attention in short-lived compliments and conversations.'

Potential is nothing if no one lives up to it, and the idea of someone is a figment of my love's imagination because maybe I've convinced myself that my nights would be less lonely if I had someone to wast--, I mean,
pass  my time with...
Be patient
Your Queen will come
Stop passing time with people feelings
You know better

You should be mine...
let me explore the darkest parts of you that forced that beautiful light in you
Immerse me in the special place in your heart you reserve for no one, just yet

My love is to heal, not damage
You're beautiful and my soul knows it
that's why she dances and twirls at the sound of your name

It would be foolish of me to not explore your love
I just want to share your light
...and kiss your scars
Be in your space
...and build something to call ours.

There aren't enough
love poems
love songs
pencils
journals
dictionaries
thesauruses
to gather the words of beauty and pain you've caused this
foolish little ***** cuddled beneath my chest..

Silly of me to be silly for you...
only to leave
leave and find comfort in another
while  I was at our home, longing for your affection
thinking of ways to bring the flame back to our connection...

Naïve of me,
but the nerve of you...
You went outside of us
to find you
I bet you're still lost

...but you're human, so maybe you needed that
& I needed for your love to never become selfish

Tell me,
tell me in its entirety why I wasn't enough

Was I not gentle enough with your soul?

Or maybe,
Just maybe I could've stared deeper into your eyes when we made sweet love?

I guess I could've screamed your name louder when you made me squirt passion?

Was 27 hours across this country to get to you not enough dedication?

Was leaving everything and everyone at the drop of your heartbeat not enough sacrifice?

I don't have enough fingers to count the countless times I forgave you...

Love was in the way, so I went out my way countless times to put a smile on your face

It wasn't enough
I wasn't enough
In your eyes, we weren't perfect enough
I did everything that wasn't enough

She was enough

...I wasn't enough of her

I wonder how my tongue will say
I love you

...and how your soul will say it back to me

I want to feel your words on my flesh just to feel you deeper

Ill write you into my life

a thousand times
a thousand pages
a thousand pens
...break my heart a thousands times

it makes me feel alive...

I'd rather you love me passionately,
baggage and all

but, if that's not possible
and you must break me...

just make it worth it, future lover
make it so worth it.

I’ll stay in this coffee shop and write about you everyday if I have to

You’re that beautiful

You are so beautiful,
yet so unaware of it

I want to paint a picture of your beauty and place it onto the other side of your eyelids, so that every single time you blinked...

You’d see what I see, in you...

I write to be at peace
I write to fall in love
With myself
With the world
I write to admire
I write to inspire
There's been times writing was all I had
When I can't trust human ears, I write
I write because writing allows me to BE
Free
Love
Share
Release
When my thoughts are too heavy my pen carries me home.
Writing shows me I'm never really alone.

I want your broken...
I want your insanity...
I'm not afraid of your baggage...
Ill help you unpack it...

Words are easy to say
Thoughts are easy to think
Doing... Well doing is quite the tasks

My soul is curious
My soul is quiet
My soul seeks knowledge
My soul seeks light
My soul has scars
My soul is unlearning
My soul is a loner
My soul plays most on intoxicated nights
My soul is pure
My soul is poetic
My soul is brave
My soul is beautiful
My soul knows...
My soul has been here for generations
My soul is love
My soul is power
My soul is free
....and trapped at the same time

...I'm not written in Braille,
You don't have to physically touch me,
To get to know me
In fact, I'd prefer if we kept our hands to ourselves
...and just spoke with our eyes and touched with our words...
Can you handle that?