Things are most pivotal  when advances are at stake.
millions of people
live at leisure with breathing, intake and exhale
and at such a loss would they be
if their lungs collapsed
and their body fell.
what a struggle that would be
like watching a moth die
as you poked and probed with a sewing needle.
would it make you cruel?
does it make the moth cruel when eating your clothes?
and once the moth in agony died, would you cry?
would you have it a funeral?
I have this evocative voice in my head
that tells me...
no, you wouldn't.
but its the imbrication of it all...the act of, the act of doing,
whose to say that suffering isnt as beautiful as the birth?
Is it inhumane not to have a preference?
would you consider one without a preference numb?
are we not all animals in the same circle of life and death?

Walking,walking,Walking.

Driving, driving, Driving.

Parking,parking,Parking.

Competition,worry,Win...yet

­Lose.



Heart.Home.Hurt.

Kiss.Love.Lie.

Yes.Maybe.Nevermind.

Friend.­ betray.Lie.

Sleep. Dream. Hope.



Money.frugal? NOT.

need.need.need.

no no no time for me.



Lust.Love.Jealousy?

What?! Who me?



Reach.Fall.Reach.

pity the poor when rich.

Pity the rich when poor.

No one will ever do anything about any of this.

this is comparable in terms

of importance and reality.

Pick your battles she told me

Never be submissive, experience taught.

Never trust, the world whispered in my ear.

All too quiet as if it were a secret



Scarred is he who wears a smile.

only as a substance lay in his blood

yet all the while

in confusion is he who refuses

to find a solution.



Hard is it, to accept the past.

no words, no questions asked.

Vacant spaces with blank stares,

Never to be kissed, to be held

choose not to be aware.



To see hundreds of people everyday

to never count them

to never think

what is their middle name?

What is their favorite color?

What we're their parents like?

What are they like?

Have they been hurt,

are they hurt?

read between the lines of a vacant stare

have hope that a smile is genuine

and may you find happiness there.

rays of sunshine through the window
between the blinds
dwell over my eyes
lingering like star dust
glittering in all of its gold glory
a smile
a smile with teeth
hands embraced
eyes on eyes
like friendship bonds
love intertwines
constant everlasting
getting lost in your pupils
that i am in your class
staring, sheepishly thinking ***** beautiful thoughts
a smile
a laugh
tickiling
early morning sunrise.

here i am lying beside the crack below my door.

hello? is anybody there?

it's so dark in here.



here i am inside my mind.

brought here by the traumatzing pain

that i have endured.



sleeping for all of eternity.

waiting for food to arrive underneath

my door.

dying for something to drink.



are you there?

sometimes i believe i hear you.

i cry in this dark room

all by myself

peering through the crack

for signs of moving feet or words never to be spoken.



my glossy eyes close themselves

involuntarily.

waiting for something to happen that never will.

there is a simple mono toned beeping in my brain

and as its bleeping, i keep saying

these fireworks for stars are brighter than they ever are

and i'm only lost on this captivating island for so long

i gaze and to gaze, is a miracle itself yet not as miraculous as the planets risen high in the sky

and as deep as the resin in my pipe.

and the grass, so much greener

and the water in this puddle is much cleaner

although i've gazed for such a deliberate extended time

and how it flies

like fireflies or some annoying dragon fly.

all flies. do fly but how high could i take this dragon fly

until she loses oxygen and begins to forfeit her life?

am i this dragon fly? Do i really wanna to die?

Does anyone?

hold on

anyway, as i was saying

am i viewed as absent minded,

when dwelling within my mind

seems to me to be fine?

is it absolutely outrageous that i can't hear you when you speak?

or that i choose not to?

because when you speak, i think, and when i think i dream, on all of that which i percieve to be truthful and great

and stuff

but i'm just analyzing, and finalizing how i really feel about the situation.

and in that deep contemplation i am in a state, and as i am in my state of being late

you are awaiting a response. which you instantly say

"nevermind"

I hate the n and v in that word.

with their sharp edges and falsifying curves.

staring into space now until  every color is one and every object a blur.

and then their is silence

and if you actually cared about the science of it all

you would know i only see what i want to see when i sleep

and so do you, but it's all the same to me.

i'll weave in and out of our conversation as i am

day dreaming of something blue, with warm heat rays

piercing into my very core.

it doesnt mean i'm bored, i just have an imagination,

what? oh...nothing i wasnt here for that anyway....