Once a year, I'm reminded here

on father's day, I have no father near.


My father could not be farther.

Actually, that's not true.

He's in one of the Southern counties of England

but it's distant enough to do.


He has two sons that he chose to have

and raise and support and endow

with all those cultural allegiance mechanisms

that I try to imagine somehow.


Painted their rooms,

changed their sheets

throwing a ball and stuff,

giving them a father that they can observe

doing his worst, best or enough.


I'm a secret secreting jealousy as a crime superfluous to needs

watching all you parented people

making pronouncements on your old Dad's deeds.


Bitter, sour grapes and cynicism are the silent names that come,

"Don't utter or mutter a single word of distain

keep our game a zero sum.

It's not our fault you had no dad

there's no need to rain on our parade!"

I know this poem is digging a hole

but who got you your first *****?


Which, I guess gives me license to continue

to go on about the other problems that came

When I was a kid, they talked of a god

and "Father" was his name.


As if it wasn't challenging enough

there's a celestial, all-seeing eye.

I found daily life to be complex as it was

without attempting to anthropomorphize the sky.


Intimidated, un-encouraged without a male adult to hide behind,

I learned I was a ******* without belonging

while mother ******* raised their own kind.


But, I guess it's time to turn around

face the future face-on with the rest

I've two sons now, who know that they are wanted

Glad I typed this crap off my chest.


Sorry if I offended anyone with a dad

Just wanted to put words to my own case,

it was not written with any malice in mind

just like your annual slap round my face.

...