I've stayed up for you
In my mascara
Just in case.
Again.

As, more alcohol than man,
Your hands stumbling over the keys like your feet on the ground.
You tell me I'm beautiful, but it's obviously not enough.
Money is too tight to cross the water like I've done.
But there's just enough for the pub

With someone who's not dad or brother.
This pause is a hint for you to tell me it's not what I think it is.
Your head lolls.
Oblivious to mine whirring.
Eyes widening

I hold back x's
In the hope that you'll notice that
You've ****** up.
You were right all along
I deserve better, but don't want it.

I've sat here patiently
An era long enough to gestate
This hate as I fall for you
And ask you kindly what's going on.
Only to get a vague answer,
A drunken phonecall
And a hiccup.

Just tell me what to do here.
If you want me to,
I'll stay
And be yours.
But I can't hover at the bar
While you go up for another drink.
I need someone of my own, not to be owned by someone.

I've stayed up for you
In my mascara
That's running.
Again.

Rain-ing out-side,
think-ing of you.
It could be the
drum beat you play.

(fast, cha-o-tic)

My jump-started heart
when I see you.

(long-ing, crav-ing)

Or the sound of
Flesh, skin on skin.

(ea-ger, play-ful)

But, I think its
Be-cause its set
to the same time,
(Four. Beats. Per. Bar.)
As when I struck
my closed fist to
my ach-ing chest,
ster-num crack-ing
(four-loud-thumps-to
-my-rib-cage)
Try-ing to stop
cry-ing, gasp-ing.
(four-with-each-****
-ed-rattl-ing-breath)
When you hurt me.

It-did-not-help.

You don't seem to understand,
That everyone gets upset.
Yet I feel,
I need to comfort you,
Like you're mine.

I understand things are tough,
But they could be worse.
You could be
Falling
For some idiot,
Who lives miles away
And won't come see you.

You could be
Waiting up for them,
Thinking,
About them falling for other people,
Mascara running.

You could be
Afraid to ask
If they would be yours.
Because you don't want to ruin what little you have with them.
And hurting.
Every day.

I need cheering up.

You don't seem to understand,
That I get upset.
And I feel,
You need to comfort me,
Like you're mine.

Then take me.
Reach out and wrap yourself around me,
Press your heart to mine, connect coronaries.

I'm not going to be the first one to leap
I'm too clumsy, I'll fall over my own feet,
And crash, tumbling at yours.

Thinking is a bad idea.
You need to catch me before I fall.