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I open my school locker on Valentine's day
And what do I find but a note of some sort
I open it up and what does it say?
My admirer wrote, "Come meet me at the fort"
So I after school I walk on home
To find my house covered in red and pink foam
I see a boy walk to the fort
I get so nervous my breath is cut short
And what do I find in all of God's powers
Is my little brother holding some flowers
A wall made of stone
My flesh stripped to the bone
Why do I always end up alone?
Laying in bed all night
Thinking that this isn't right

My heart is closed to love
As much as I try to open my soul
I feel like a bomb just opened a hole
in my heart
My heart of stone
But it refuses to feel
As much as I try
My hearts an unbreakable seal

I keep waiting for that day
When I find the guy
Who won't cheat or lie
Someone who will be able to break
The seal to my heart
My heart of stone

And I'll no longer be alone
I wish I hated you
I want to hate you
I desire to hate you
I hate you
I see a picture of you
I hear your voice
You text me
You like my Facebook status
I remember all the good times we had
I don’t hate you
I never will hate you
Even after all the **** you put me through


And I hate it
An old Florida home
Mango tree in the back yard
Hanging over our patio
When May comes
The Mangos are ripe
As ripe as the school children are for summer
As ripe as the reflection of the sun
The sun’s brightness is blinding
And every time we open our eyes
After having stared at the sun
Our perspective on the world is different
Our change of perspective is not conscious
When it rains
It’s fresh
Fresh like dew on a daisy
Fresh like a daisy sitting in the hair of a girl in love
A girl in love
It sounds foolish
That we accept such a complex notion
There aren’t any noncomplex concepts
An explanation doesn’t exist
I could explain for hours
Explaining wouldn’t mean anything
Explaining wouldn’t mean anything more than the coming of May
Or the passing of summer
Even the new beginning of fall
Fall to the ground
Be with the soil
Nothing is forever
I have felt abandoned ever since you left me sitting alone after school on my birthday
So when I woke up after my surgery, it wasn't surprising that you weren't there
You broke me on that day
My thirteenth birthday is representative of the disdain I feel toward you
And I sit here, at 6:15, you said you'd be home at 4:00
Although I'm angry at you, I'm angrier at myself...for thinking that you could keep your word
I've felt neglected for 5 years
People really never change
Thanks, Mom
Lessons Learned
-Jimmy Desire

Isolated,
Restricted within the confines of my own mind
Like a puzzle,
But the pieces aren’t compatible
See what you’ve done to me
Your actions don’t add up
My selfishness stunts me
It doesn’t allow me to understand what you want
I want to understand though
I do care,
I want you happy
I’d just rather you happy with me
All the time spent thinking about you,
Probably could’ve done more…

The mouse scurries in the light
But explores the darkness,
That becomes a shade of mystery
Light’s radiance exposes it
And makes it a possibility
See…
What the mouse doesn’t know is that
The two are one in the same
Mystery compels us to discover
But who knows what we’ll find
That’s our possibility
Possibility knows no limit
We wonder,
Estimate,
Infer,
Yet we can never be certain of
A Mystery,
Until we are willing enough to explore…

Truth of the matter is,
I'm sick and tired of not knowing where I'm going,
So I'm guessing its bout time I find out...
Well then, how bout you?..
Jimmy Desire ©2010

— The End —