the wind
is willing me to the ground
and the sun
scrutinizing
squinting down in criticism
while i squint up in fright
and shame
but of what

plants curl
up
every which way to the sun
while my growth
is stunted

nothing is mine
i am not worthy
to see the sky
it is not mine to see
the wind
does not want me to stand
the sun
does not want me to stay

go
it tells me
you are not wanted
you are not worthy
these things
are not yours
go find something that is yours
it tells me
it shouts
and whispers
and pushes
and wills
me to move
away from the wind
away from the sun
anywhere but here
go
move
it shoos me
with
upturned noses
closed eyes
and beautiful
dainty hands
you cannot stay
we do not want you
not here
move
but i cannot move
so i hide
in the dark
in a room
from the sun
from the wind
from the light
but
so much beauty
i want to see it
i am drawn to it
but banned from it
i am not allowed
to see