we were 5 years old
he wore spiderman velcro shoes
i wore pigtail braids
he had dark brown hair just like mine
we played tag together during recess
we would race to the swings
to see who could swing the highest
and then jump off
to either scrape our knees or laugh it off
he'd tease me saying "you can't catch me"
and wait for me to start chasing him around the dandelions
but now
i am 19 years old
and i forgot what my first love looked like
not even around the dandelions can i find my love
i forgot where he went and didn't bother chasing him again
so now i wait for a new love
to come find me not with pigtail braids
but instead find me here with my coffee and mascara on

bread and milk doesn't nourish me anymore
i miss when your eyes meet mine halfway as mine quickly look away hiding from yours
i crave your hand intertwined with mine
i crave the way you pull me in close when we are already close, but not close enough
i want you to wrap me in your arms underneath the sheets creating complicated knots in my hair
and forget about the time for once without having to care

i walk around the streets
silent and starving
but no one knows that all i want is to eat you up in kisses
only i do
and that is when i realized every time, that bread and milk will always be so tasteless and blah
that it would leave me hungry for weeks until i saw you again so i could stop missing, wanting, craving, and wishing for what i didn't have
but i will always go back to bread and milk
because at the end of the day...
bread and milk is all i have

how big of a fool was i
to start painting with my own dreams
broken dreams
and unthinkable dreams
how big of a fool was i
to start crafting with my own dreams
creasing and folding
paper cutting my own heart
to only end up with a paper airplane
that you once threw to see it fly and touch the sky
but
only from the heart can you touch and feel the sky

-Aracely Acosta