It's the way I avoid your sensual touch
and the things you do to make me blush.

It's the way regret eats my dwindling pride
when I keep secrets from you, my bride.

It's how I long to finally share
the way the blade's edge feels against my skin, bare.

—but when I share—

It's the hollowness of disappointment in your eyes
when I reveal the truth behind my lies.

It's the way your pupils fade to black
past the point where color comes back.

It's the horror you show when you first see
the masochistic monster I can be.

Heavy eyes
tired sighs
one more day
for me to rise
above the noise
I have no choice
but to find
my lost voice

get off the floor
you're so much more
I cannot be here anymore
find a door and go
tired of hearing no
from every Joe Schmo
and John Doe
who think they know
how high or how low
I can go
down that road
before my tires blow
before I explode
no!

not again
don't pretend
this is not where my story ends
my saga continues
my journey extends
because of the steady hands you lend
when I am down
half in the ground
just me and my shovel
no hope to be found
you find a way
to share one more day
I pray
you'll stay
'til tomorrow is today

'til I know that I am safe
but I know you must go
so go
leave
I have to let go
I have to believe
I can do this on my own
I may stumble on stones
moan and groan
speak in tongues unknown
but forward I move
and groove
until I prove
that I can do this on my own

Talk, talk, speak away;
Shut your ears, I have nothing to say.
Muzzle my mouth—mute my voice;
Speaking my mind was never a choice.

I feel my weary eyes grow old
Sitting here in the bitter cold
Praying that it all would end
Mercy you would extend

Instead, you let me thaw then freeze
I beg, I plead, I'm on my knees
Someday soon, will come the end
Maybe I'll rest then

Until that day, I'll suffer in pain
Bleeding out of every vein
Here it comes, I see the end
So close to you, my icy friend
I close my eyes and rest my head
Now all I see is red

Heavy eyes
tired sighs
one more day
for me to rise
above the noise
I have no choice
but to find
my lost voice

get off the floor
you're so much more
I cannot be here anymore
find a door and go
tired of hearing no
from every Joe Schmo
and John Doe
who think they know
how high or how low
I can go
down that road
before my tires blow
before I explode
no!

not again
don't pretend
this is not where my story ends
my saga continues
my journey extends
because of the steady hands you lend
when I am down
half in the ground
just me and my shovel
no hope to be found
you find a way
to share one more day
I pray
you'll stay
'til tomorrow is today

'til I know that I am safe
but I know you must go
so go
leave
I have to let go
I have to believe
I can do this on my own
I may stumble on stones
moan and groan
speak in tongues unknown
but forward I move
and groove
until I prove
that I can do this on my own

Chains bind
my mind
to which I've resigned
to find
peace of mind
in this endless grind

then you remind
that I signed
away
my mind
long ago
the answer is no
I cannot go
down that empty road
or my mind will explode
brains a la mode

grab a spoon, dig in
eat away my sin
let's begin
we're kin
don't mind the skin
don't be shy
look me in the eye
don't lie
just try
eat enough
and you'll get high

eat enough
and maybe you'll fly
away from here
where thy sky is clear
and you hear the sun shine
rays like wine
sweet and seductive
totally sublime

it's no crime
to dine
like queens and kings
kiss my ring
minstrels sing
treasures they bring
lay at my throne
still nothing I own
in my castle
all alone
I groan
and I moan
and I endlessly atone
for sins
that weigh me down
like stones

I've been there before
can't take no more
I'm better off chained
chained to the floor