i have only
one lonely
component
of moments
altogether, they make the misnomer
we all **** every morning,
every time we call it
time
i’m in bed, thinking
of my child--
past,
my mistress--
future,
and my husband--
present.
do i manifest it
in the most innocent victims
in my kin, keeping
their necks bent backwards,
twisted
twenty-four, seven
for no reason other
than my (sub?)conscious,
its viciousness i keep
feeding, nursing it
with ****** breastmilk
i keep reminiscing and reliving
my initiation moments
ago, when she forced my transition
from visions of halos
visible in the distance
to a new life witnessed
from a higher elevation measured
in mere feet, in measly inches
all its symptoms
hosting the syndrome
we selfishly love scapegoating
as the capital of sweden
or do i invest it in secret
in a potential haven
its instantaneous
gratification
purposely overlooking
my infernal husband
i see him, vivid
his eyes gleaming, livid
while he's smiling, living
in pure bliss, the image
of him standing
in the background
oxymoronically
observing
with a rigid south
that defies physics
and hails northbound
like my eyes when they widen
allowing my peripheries
to admit the bigger picture
and finally i get it
or do i intertwine
his fingers with mine
give in and follow through
with vows
so
black
i had to contrast them with white
by draping
over my shoulders what i'd only seen before when
time, my fashionably late ******
snuck into my room and ravaged innocence
it was mariana trench grim
even the moon couldn't take it
watching her stab
the white sheets,
in blackness
hearing my eerie screams
as my innards leave me
and suddenly i embrace
the potent beauty of a venomous snake
the gleaming power that hate plagues
so together we'd watch them bleed red
sitting. but that was moments past
now i carry the horrid legacy
of mastered maleficence
how to manipulate it
beneath a veil that hates evil
and it still tempts me...
that's why i did it
wore white and feigned interest
to distract the morbid being
hiding deep within, rotting, festering
i put it all together when i broke
at the hands of a monster
who created a fraternal clone
by instigating an innocent sadist
a different species
i can drain us all, together
in a brutal whirlwind
of failing, of indecision
if only
the moon had made it
if only the sun had listened
and rescued me
instead of insisting
that shining on time
was out of style
but its prerequisite
was no compromise
instead it trapped me
in a sinister dungeon
because taking orders
from a subordinate
is a demeaning price
higher than
the cheap little girl
bleeding, crying
she carries no significance
she's falling behind
just like the future
of an otherwise worthy existence
just like my mistress --
future
my husband--
present
and my child --
passed
now
nothing
matters.
it's only
a matter
of time
until we all die
after all,
we had it
all, stolen
or otherwise
yet instead,
we spent
our whole lives
torturing each other
and killing time.
- end