bored in a beautiful palace
with waterfalls and hands uncalloused
was a bystander when it all happened
and in their happiness
they struggle to understand
me
hapless

You are not a breath of fresh air
but air itself.

i killed a man today
yesterday  
he was a child
and before then
was once inside one
meanwhile inside
her childish mind
he didn’t decide
her body wasn’t his
or go on to dismiss
the one on her side
or rid him from her insides

yet now we’re here
and it’s me he sits besides
my hands slide up
and down
his bedroom
eyes

was yesterday not just the other day
what’s tomorrow but just another today
and why is it i can kiss a man
at the same time  
i end his life

today i feel
particularly connected with
the plastic fake nail tip
that from its branch my hand disconnected
when it fell off of the bed with which it and i was blessed
the  days came and they went  
then the day came and they left
and my heart enraged felt neglect
like mine when they saved their own instead
and all that does change when chains react
is what the heart always felt
but the mind not yet accepted

and i set in ways with malice friends
took as so often do you
and us fools do by pride possessed
and watched them take what’s theirs as theft
sat meanwhile taking them for granted

and i too like it snapped and left an other half
scared half to death
and for the life of me
unhinged in my inability
to muster not
even one snake tear then again
ain’t these i see here
the same eyes with which she
summoned her last breath
begging me for help

i’ll take a life with slow death
waiting ahead at every bend
over this death
of a head
mine
wet with regret

dear baby bro,

i miss you so much. so much so
it doesn’t hurt anymore.
i keep trying to be everything bahi wasn’t to me
i think about my approach
i had a dream two nights ago
you came up to me
and said you can’t ignore me
anymore
i got so excited
and squeezed you so tight and
even though then you said this doesn’t mean
things are the way they were before
and suddenly it didn’t
not hurt anymore
i still had you to hold.
and the holes felt whole

i know i have to reassemble
what i broke.
and if it turns out your heart’s
missing a piece
because of the peace
my negligence broke off
just know
right after i’m through
putting mine together
my heart’s yours

sat next to the man with two phones
i asked him to hold my hand
and he laughed  

sitting in his ‘96 civic
for three hours we fell asleep
till six since three

he’s one of the many men
whose substance
far from the moral field
leaves many men with little substance
and you and me victims
of victims of you and me

he’s the type who feeds fiends
and he’ll keep making a killing
off children we perceive
as grown men and women
living to **** themselves
it’s how he makes a living

don’t him you belittle
for you are no different  

i know the thought makes you livid
you wish he was lined up and shot with the likes of him
but your white lies are their white lines
and the front lines in his line of business
so you would lie alongside and
wrong right
where you were digging

as far as i’m concerned
he’s not a man without substance
and one of much substance
one of few and far between
and certainly could you defeat

because while you let savages ravage me
he held my hand for free
and never demanded their standard fee
of an arm  
and a leg
and everything in between

.

i am my arch nemesis
my soul: sole
object of my affection