live as if
you have nothing
of everything

i don't love you.
just love feeling...
                           you
              lift me high
           for an instant
      when you touch
     my battered skin.
until then, after that
  i
   am
         just
indifferent.

let me pick your brain
show me your grey
maybe then i’ll do the same

****** me with the gin
you hide behind your grin
maybe then you’ll have me

overwhelmed
by the beauty in your ugly
oh, i thirst for a taste of truth
lies burden your chest, whet
my flesh, maim my chained head

see your reflection?
how your ugly makes you lovely

pound me down on my knees
beat me, ravage me, unleash
the savage you’d meeked

loosen me, wear me thin
widen my heartless mind
strong-arming might make me feel

make me your canvas
paint me with blood-red,
master

me,
shatter my heart to pieces
it makes masterpieces better, i’m

overwhelmed
by the beauty in your ugly
oh, i thirst for a taste of you
why burden your chest when
i beg, thrive on unrest

see your reflection?
how i’m what makes you lovely

******* mothers
embraced  us.

we were conceived
from specimens--
one mr
one mrs--
presumably
intelligent.

misconceptions
mask reality.

we exist...

if for nothing
but to compete
in a sick game
of
who will withstand
the most pain
if for no
objective
other
than to
reinforce
to the collective
that if nothing,
we are comprised
of nothing

but
sad

selfish

backstabbing  

failures.

behold
the shackles
my knuckles
fiend for.

ghosts i see
inhale me deep
they never let me
go to sleep

still im stealing--i'm a thief
the beast feasting
between my thighs
muffles my cries.

as it tells tales,
juvenile

wholesome before
fearful, seldom
moving forward

my bedspread
kicks me to couches
on grounds of love
that splinter
like my bored head,
backwards

still they’re stealing
myself from me
demons veiled, they're
feeding my lies
they make me vile

and years go by
i’m alive
fearful before
fearless--now i
can reign pawns

lo and
behold
the muzzles
my morals
adorn.

thoughts...
they seethe

put me at ease,
i never let them
go of me.
no one's stealing
my sins from me

eerie cries call
as moonshine dies
(they)
bring me to life
and for moments
juvenile

i'm numb no more,
fearsome
of none
but the morn

lo and
behold
the shackles my knuckles
fiend for

ghosts
i see
inhale me deep
they

never let me
never let me
never let me go
                       to
                       sleep.

it's those
who feel
the need to help you
the most
who don't feel.
it's they
who need
(your) help
the most

i am they
and i don't feel
but still i hear
their
   ah...
of relief

again
i am
    

     empty

and how i wish
i could learn
how to breathe
if once
one sigh
of relief

- end