a place
that genuinely admires all of you and
hides your existence
for a little while
from the clock ticking and ticking and *ticking

the knowledge of someone's existence, as a whole -
the almost distressing awareness of someone in the corner of your eye.
a magnet, a helluva strong one,
drawing you in

to notice every detail and find all the steps
all the quirks
used to reel people in;
standing at the edge of a void - admiring it -
but not getting ****** in

there's something terrifying and lovely
in finding a song that speaks to you

the stars will always be out for you,
but if you stay in too ***** a place -
don't blame everyone else when you can't see them anymore

and he felt loss and misery and hatred and disgust all at once,
he ran all his life searching for it again

if you died tomorrow,
in a car crash
in a train accident
from food poisoning
from the snakes I sent last night, under my breath, nightmares fading in and out
you ancestors would smile, they really would, believe me -
and the world would be a lovely place to live in

when your skin burns and peels and rots under the soil
then, will you feel regret?