Our country is insidious
I'll say it loud, I don't care
Our leaders have hollow guts
They blame it on inflation
The Great Depression part two
But it's fake, it's fake
It's all ******* fake
It starts with men and it'll end with men, old men
Telling us how we're gonna live our lives but who are you?
Do I know you, have we met?
No
So I don't believe you should be declaring a war on behalf of people you can't name
I am working class,
I am a woman by your definition
Your professionals can't even keep me in a dreamlike state
And so my disorder is my confessional
I am simple, I am too smart
Too loud, I don't have a voice
So I can't say anything but here in my room I say
You can't start something you can't find a solution for
If you want to praise hollow gutted men, go ahead
But none of them are gonna **** you, so...

Your eyes beseech us
Implore our feminine instincts
To give in
We are swooning, we  are easy
We are like driftwood
We are the deer
And you are the knights
The charlatans...
you are the firearms
The bullets fleeting
The hearts that stop beating
When you climb on top of us Decrescendo of breathing
It's all black and white to you
But who can blame you
We are pallid
We are rainbow
We are heathered
We are jet
Face it
You're panting in and out
While laying on a corpse
She just died
She'll be there underneath you
Till the second death occurs
Third, fourth, fifth
Hundredth
Your face is everywhere
Undeniably slick
You think you're gods gift
You don't deserve the consequence
We deserve hell
Well, I hope this shakes you
If the law doesn't break you
And nobody ***** you.

Our eyes capered on the skyline
Stretched arms out of the car
It was supernatural to us
with its circle of magic
Is that what it was like to fly?

I stood in a snow globe
of winter wonderland stars
It hugged the happy in me
like it was protecting a baby - then avalanche - goodbye

Labyrinth of shallies
all tangerine and peach
etched a path of crystal stones
gold if you were lucky
This was home of the fireflies

They led me to the beach cafe
And the club of cabaret
Where indigo lights taught me to really dance, a coryphee
The steps I still have memorised

Then I saw the sea's sage, regurgitation
Animals couldn't be collected in buckets like shells
And although childhood dreams stay with me

The kid in me has died.

I was asleep
then the world was ending in the shape of a figurehead.
She was a dream sequence -
A tradition, a hope, a robin on Christmas Day...
Often came for tea and now these clouds and double rainbows,
They all must be signs.

But robins rob.
Feathers of hazel are making room in heaven for a heathen
One who hoarded Africa and befriended the axes who cut it apart for treasure.
Wedlock with her cousin was all orchids so long as the children weren't dud buds.

I remind myself to have humility
Then the world is fighting over a billion pound bet.
She is in her casket asleep -
A shiver, a starve, a million with her by Christmas Day...
Often came for tea and now these clouds and double rainbows,
Though I still question why.

I was street dove eyed
Another sleepless passenger
When the war between the lighthouse and the smog began.

Chimneys
dating back to Victorian times
Shipped their bakery smells to the salt and grease

The colossal banks of them
Victorious in their pursuit to have me step foot into
West Yorkshire's bell jar.

I scoured the trees for spider monkeys, clinging to the backs of their vampire boys
An alabastrine, dazzling climb

Which furthered my trek to the hardcastle crags;
The medieval houses cheering me on in their church pew rows.

Where the hill went up and up and up, so much that the bus was about to tip - on the edge of the world I was.

The twilight town, still green from September, and to think I was drafted to fight for the sea
When Hebden Bridge is where I want to be.

She doesn't know it but her face will be on show for years to come
Her voice a siren, not for war but for rights.
The flames will become a sunset
But the ashes are still there
And back then they rained on her skin
An endless reminder of who she is
Confusion, uncertainty, worry
A tongueless woman in a swarm of male noise
Until her red lips move, her blue eyes match the aqua of the sky
After the darkness has cleared
Resolution near

Once I cried at the thought of a man
Forcing himself inside of me.
I was scared of the night owls
Breaking my locks, draining me of blood,
I imagined dying.
And when the time did come to be crushed, I felt myself start to snap.
Everything about him was too large to the point I refused to let him touch my leg
Never mind let him do what he really wanted to do.

I led him on.
I led them all on.
I resigned to softer features,
Those who'd understand the dolling up, the shirt covered stomach
The endless closure of my eyes they couldn't stare at themselves in.
Of course that never came to fruition but now
I'm so sick of myself I feel nauseous come nighttime.
Lost in the darkness until I fall asleep in a huff.

Maybe I should've let him do it.
Same with the man who
Squeezed me like a clementine
Thinking he was shooting me up, a rocket in his pocket.
Only I was shooting up to forget how he made me feel like a corpse.
To my friends I expressed this and ran into a taxi...
Only for him to slap the shame of being a lesbian back into me.
If I said it didn't lead me to consider trading my body with stardom I'd be lying.

If someone saw me the way I see myself in bed
I think I'd want to be with me too.
This is the slaughter of the lost girl
I’m printing it on the skin of the new girl - the not easy but free girl
Who's sexuality has nothing to do with damage already done.
Deep is the depths of the lengths I’m going to to celebrate this
In the darkest realms possible.
The care dripping from my nerves.