Restless heart,
Why bleat when you'll be full soon?
A simple breathing exercise
Turned panic attack, you can't decide, why?

You'll be laughing
Tripping over drains, pebbles
With a friend who covered a vast distance for you
Isn't that healing?

Nagged to leave
But there's a part of pain you'll always keep
With no eyes you're ******
Though in the rush there's luck

There's a restless heart
That pleads with me to let it be full
And I can't promise it
But believe me, I'll try.
These Sunday eyes I'll vow to dry.

Since I learnt of death
I've been burdened with blood work
Clots made by simply breathing
And losing them too soon.

Scared out my wits, I live like it doesn't matter yet
Shower check, fear to consume anything of strangeness...

What would I do with nobody left?
Figure I'd rather die,
I already considered it on trampolines and daisy fields -

That I'd be happy not saying goodbye given I'd still have the untouched, slit hearts
From not expecting my departure.

I can't believe I feel like a coward
For bowing out of a recovery
So gripping it killed them all
In the form of a flesh wound.

It may as well be the universe before we're born changing its mind
And cradling us close to its chest
The rest of death being... dead.

On first glance,
I wondered how such a beautiful girl could be a poet.
You were what I feared...

I didn't wanna see another clone.  

Then I learnt you bleach your hair
With my mum's leftover snowdrops
To extenuate the curves;
The Venus face I recognise so well,

Cause what I see in you,
I don't see in me even though
I brag we share features
Same particles of the mind

Same wet breaths took.

You're really pretty cool
As I keep saying to those who'll listen to my stanzas and stanzas
Of the stars you saw that night and realised you were real

At least you don't feel like a figment of my imagination
This time it's raw, carefree yet caring so much you wanna combust

And it doesn't make you any less beautiful

Me neither for that matter.

What a shift from what I used to think about girls of confidence.

Now that I feel it myself, I feel found by someone I could love forever
The fragments coming together to make one thing.

A thousand more glances.

I wish I was someone else
With enough sense to wish
You would've sent me away
So I could morph into a stranger's bloodline like a London city light.

I see myself in everyone who gives me kindness;
I doubt it's normal to wonder if I'm theirs but I do
In not finding the same kindness in you.

I sit in the wake of the plans
Vowing not to drink but doing it anyway, one urge from you
And I'm right back where I was before I met my friends

Who tell me I'm worth more
Than every streetlight
That makes the world so radiant
In the dead of December
Where it takes the cold ***** in me to remember

I need to be brave
And fun myself into running into the girl you could've been
The girl you could've been if you hadn't have had me.

There's blackness as I wake
Even as I wake it's still night.
It might be sullen of me
But waking up is heart rending when you have nothing to wake up for.

Saturnine bells ring as if I should shoot up, sing till my voice is sore
In the 7am pre rest
Of at least on the outside, resting for the rest of the day.

I could write, I could respond to who could change my life
Get myself out of pathetic debts burdened onto me by fellow humans
Who should adapt to my snails pace; not urge me to rush.

I feel like my head is tagging along behind my body
Or vice versa
I want the coffee to make my dreams come true
Without me having to face rejection.

I wanted to die at twelve
So knowing what to do has become a rare jewel for a planet
That saw the other orbs living freely and didn't follow suit.

It wants me to wake and detonate
Fade into fewer words
And sit pretty with my Venus face.
Slotting myself between depression and depression seems like a common thread for most

But I can't do it.
I just can't do it.

I've known you for a second
And I already want to move in.
Look through kaleidoscopes with you as the roof ascends us like shooting stars.
Find the ugliest decor
and kiss each other better after week long benders.
Your **** was a genies lamp
Sitting pretty in the mould of the seventh apartment in a month.
It only takes a second
for me to hit the roof
when you touch me out of the blue.
It only takes a second
For me to fall in love with you.

The steel city shines bright sometimes
Only when I dream of seeing you there
I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't
There's no money, no heart around this tunnel's lines
I can't keep you secretly
In my room like it's a snow globe
We're the pellets, the flakes that fade under feet
And yet we're so lucky to have pulses that fleet
Until we finish the call
When we wake from the future we should have
If the world was normal and rules weren't made up
By men channeling the steel
I wish that our life was real