A summery sensation frees me,
i lay my head upon the bed
of forgotten nighttime terrors
and it blooms into a rare happiness.
Here it only ever happens;
gratitude for the solitude.
It appears like a daytime lullaby
and it's all because of you.

Tonight she compelled me -
i could no longer run.
Those said features of delicacy
hit me, punched me, killed me.
So violent that it was perfect
and i just stood still
because she was perfect too.

On this chilling eve
my psyche is numb.
It is never concrete;
the haze plays along.

I’m the childhood friend
who you’ll never speak to again
and the time waster on
really really slow afternoons.
Six months down the line
and we’re still postponed, why?

Life has been one slow afternoon
and you still ask "why"?
when I tell you how lonely I am.
I would be happy for you
for getting your ******* together.
Not at the expense of leaving me behind.

...why?

I’m swirling the thoughts around,
wishing it was some nutrient
but all I get is no conclusions.
I listen to the playlists I made for
other people who wouldn’t give me
the time of day that I need.
That I quietly beg for but only
to myself because it would be weird
to do it in front of strangers.

I guess that Paula, my counsellor,
had decided that I had been trapped in her fishnet tights for too long.
I had outgrown the Doc Marten boots and exercise colouring books.
And when I peered through the window,
i saw her sitting across from a girl around my own age.
They were doing a colouring exercise and I wondered,
did I pass the disease down onto her?
Is that how it works, am I cured?

Cherries blowing up like dark red balloons
and bursting with confetti at house parties.
Sweet sixteenth's and eager eighteens,
underage girls dressed up as barbies.
You see, it's all about numbers.
Like the amount of calories in a cheeseburger
or how many nappies for the baby, soon to outnumber.
Lies and excuses for short term friends
when family know how it's destined to end.
But isn't that the latest trend?
The cost of the newest labels to gain some popularity,
girls these days just need some clarity.
Chasing boys for love, though it's just a quick blow,
see those lips pucker up for a lifeless photo.