Life is starting to get too hard again.

He's probably holding her right now.
She's probably wishing the moment could never end.
He's probably kissing her tenderly on the cheek.
In their little soft, serene relationship. Everything is perfect.

And, He will secretly wish he never met the girl that came before.
She almost ruined him.

But, the girl that came before will always wish she did things differently. She would have still had him.
It was just a lesson she had to learn.
She will think about him now, and the girl that he holds in his arms, wondering why she is so special.  
She will think that the girl that he holds deserves him more than she ever did. And it will be true.
It was just a lesson she had to learn.

He fell asleep in class today,
breathing softly..
I wanted to be alone with him in that moment,
to just cuddle..
When he woke up he looked at me and smiled,
he is an angel when he smiles..
To me,
he is perfection..
I only wish he was mine to hold.

So fragile and tender, becoming so bitter.
And bitter things shrivel up, and dry out.  
I will become porcelain glass. The fancy kind.
Porcelain is breakable, I'm afraid I will shatter.
Please don't drop me.  I haven't the heart to pick up the pieces.

No one loved her, no one cared.
As she prays she whispers to God "I'm almost there."
She knew what she had to do.
She would be in heaven soon.

My parents would have more money, worry less.
My ex would have had never to deal with me.
My best friend would move on and find someone worth his time.
If only I didn't exist.
But. **I do.

The earth was on fire but no one could see,
because of the ashes and the burning trees.
The earth was on fire and no one could tell,
because we're all trapped inside of this hell.

He will never know the tears I've cried.
He will never know the pain inside.
Or the days I've wasted thinking about him.
Or the days I've wasted missing him.
He will never know the guilt I have over him.
Or the regret of it all.
He will never know I still care about him.
And how much I still love him.
He will never know.

**"Sometime's the one you want,
is not the one you need."

Holding my face as he kisses me softly,
As we lay in the grass under the soft shades of the stars,
He would cuddle with me and tell me he loves me,
He'd make me feel comfortable in my skin,
He would love me for who I am.