If you're reading this for the thousandth time,
the clock ticking ever on,
the time marked out in white numerals at the bottom of the screen,
ignore me.
Go back to work.

But if you're reading this and the movie's over,
the clock having skipped a beat,
the morning peaking through the window,
WAKE UP *****.

Ask someone what the color is today,
wear your special satchel bag
and new skirt like a uniform with tinsel woven in.
One of the speeches is labeled -
"******* that Better Work."
The other one is yours,
"New Speech," it says,
even though it's two months old.
Look in your backpack for the incomplete worksheet,
hopefully it's in the pink binder
where you left it.
Don't forget your sister after school and feed the cats before you leave.
Sincerely,
Yourself

It's time to give up
when you try to collapse from exhaustion onto the couch
and stub your toe on the coffee table in the process.

The words came into her mind
e   ff   o   r   t   l    e   s   s   l   y
it was then that she
k       n        e       w
they were
l   i   e   s.

a splitting headache
accompanied by saline raindrops
are more common now
as the hours drag by.
                                                 it's just one quick packet
                                                 you have a week for this
the expectation of perfection
is absolute,
as evidenced by how easy it is
to lose the faith of those once close.
                                                 I didn't want to bother you
                                                 that was quite unexpected
the desire to be good enough
for what little is received
is outpaced only
by the desire to rest for just a moment.
                                                 stop goofing off so much
                                                 lights out early tonight, ok
only through perseverance
can one be successful
but only through failure
can one know the value of success.
                                                 calm down and walk away
                                                 in my own mind, even, I am lost
even in death we are unsafe
as the days go by
with nary a memory of all the jumble
studied and fought in life.
                                                 there's always a choice
                                                 **nothing about it can be helped

Go to sleep
pretend to sleep
stare at a wall and call it sleep
Turn on the ipod
and turn out the light
look at the curtains:
a sliver of night.
The street light's glow
on the week-old ice sheet
looks orange and lurid,
a sun with no heat.
Bang on a pillow
scream at the pillow
wishing for the release of crying in said pillow
Be still
it is late
phantoms glare from the ceiling
demons: memories, sadness, hate.
Close the curtains
and sail away from here
the floorboards are icebergs
on an ocean of fear.
The figures are back
the misery is back
the desire to run very far and very fast
                                                                  is back

"Nvm"
are three
                                                               3
little
         l
          e
           t
            t
             e
              r
               s

that
never cease
to ****
me
                      o
                    f
                  f

I'm never good
but I'm not dead yet.
Oh,
I want to be,
but somehow there,
at the top of the tree,
I instead came down
to learn
German.

They hear
the touch of hysteria
in my voice,
laugh.
A touch,
no more,
because I hear it,
too,
before the sound even
echoes in my
throat,
and I cut off the sound,
cat quick,
because if I don't
the laugh
will turn to
tears.
There'll be no hiding it,
the hysteria,
then.